Amazing Race Recap: Le Fin

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The teams get really into explaining how easy it is to use the kicking trunk. They use words like “awesome!” and “so easy” and “I want one!” They should be getting paid a million dollars just for this in-show commercial. Oh, oh, let us try to say how great it is. “Hey Fran, come shove your stinky foot at this car’s butthole to make the back door open so you can cram all your used KFC buckets inside!” How’d we do? Did we get a free car yet?

So after the car-squee teams are on their way and everyone is following each other with FNL in front. Twin N’s make another gay joke at the Goat Boys expense about them “sneaking up from behind” and we hate them more and more each second.

The teams make it to the Chateau. The Goat Boys know French so they have an advantage. Unfortunately, they blew the advantage by finding out where the Stone Dog was in front of everyone.

201212112148

Goat Boy takes flight.

They all find the dog and now they’re on their way to Chateau D’amboise, the final resting place of Leonardo Di Vinci. And this is where Twin N’s have to complete their speed bump because they were last in the previous leg. They must find a room and help a lady finishing dressing old timey including properly fitting a corset.

There’s also a lot of talk about Goat Boy Josh being able to run and faking his ankle injury. I can’t imagine someone would let themselves look as pathetic as Josh did on the last leg to fake an injury. Although I faked having mono for about six years straight out of high school so my mom didn’t make me get a job. It was the hardest I’ve ever worked at anything. Twin N’s are pissed that everyone is leaving them behind. Yeah, how crazy to leave someone behind ON A RACE! Actually, I’m surprised that the Goat Boys didn’t wait for them.

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“Oh yeah, I’ve got your next clue right here!”

The Twin N’s find the woman and start corsetting. The rest of the teams are working together with The Goat Boys as the leader. So much for feeling hurt by the other teams leaving them out of the alliance.

Twin N’s yank the woman around and half ass the corset enough for a speed bump. Meanwhile the Goat Boys are going in circles with everyone following them in confusion giving plenty of tie for the Twin N’s to catch up. FNL finds a different entrance than everyone else and it pays off, they get their first.

Detour: Chow or Plow! The royal French tradition of hunting with dogs is super old or something, so teams must make the daily meal for a pack of hunting hounds. They must sort, weight ad cut various types of meat. In plow teams must use a traditional horse and plow and till the field.

Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

22 Comments

  1. 1
    andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Heart, thy name is Beekman!

    They dithered. They got lost. They went the wrong way. They misread clues. They fell. The fell behind constantly, they were openly mocked by the lead teams, they were called names by the twins and excluded from groups even when there was no advantage to the other teams to do so. But they never gave up, they sometimes wanted to, but they rallied and they never gave up. And they won!

    Let’s hear it for the Goat Boys. This was my favorite win of all time. I honestly liked all three final teams and would have been happy with any of them winning, which I never am, but this particular win was very sweet and I am glad for them. This is why I watch AR, for moments like that.

  2. 2
    LB
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 9:11 am

    SO happy they won!! Usually a team I can’t stand wins, but not this time. And that the twinnies got 4th makes it all the better. Go underdogs!!!

  3. 3
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 9:41 am

    I didn’t even consider them to be contenders. The Beekman’s poor racing ability made me think they would be the last team eliminated before the final three. Even though they made the final three I still figured it was between Jaymes and James AND Trey and Lexi.

    I was completely AMAZED that the Beekmans won. Talk about a great finale. And that BIG GAY KISS on this family show? It was the cherry on the top of my banana split. I was rooting for TEAM DELICIOUS but this was pretty tasty too. Thanks for all the recaps.

  4. 4
    KJN KJN
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Wow. That was, well…amazing! I never thought they’d pull it off. I mean, they’re smart as hell, so in a way it doesn’t surprise me, but they were just so far behind throughout the whole race, I also considered it a race between the Chippies and Team Texas for the win. I knew the Twinnies wouldn’t be winning anything.

    I’m happy for them and so glad they showed their kiss on t.v.! So far it seems to have slipped under the radar of all those hate, oops I mean, “family” groups that are always screaming bloody murder over every little thing. So yay for that. Progress.

    But, I really wanted the Chippies to win! I really, really loved them. Well, Jaymes at least. Or was it James? The blond. Always so supportive, made the best out of everything they did, even when it went wrong. And, he cracked me up. I was sooo ready to loathe them when I first saw them, so what a surprise they ended up my favorite team. He looked so sad at the end. You could tell he had wanted to help his dad so bad and was a little devastated. I felt so bad for him. :(

    Team Texas was driving me nuts. STFU with the “babe”, already. I HATE when teams do that. “Go babe!” “Come on, babe!” “I love you, babe!” GAG me, babe. Glad they lost just for that alone.

  5. 5
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

    One of my least favorite AR wins ever.

    They sucked as competitors, constantly whined, and were handed a challenge at the end that they worked to their benefit.

    Not “inspiring” or even fun. Outside of maybe the asshole truck driver and the twins, I would have preferred anyone win over these two. (Especially the Chippendales)

  6. 6
    Pegalicious
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 10:33 am

    By the end of the race I would’ve rooted for anyone over the \Twinnies,\ but I was happy with the winners. Given my druthers it would have been the Chippendales, or better yet, Amy and Daniel (who were victims of the Taxi Curse in round 2).

    Fran and Berry, thanks for your excellent recaps; I look forward to next season!

  7. 7
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    I really wanted the Chippies to win, but I’m fine with the Goat Boys. Good for them for hanging in there, even when it was humiliating and difficult (and a special shout out to the team that stayed with them and supported them when other teams wouldn’t have.)

    I hated the Twins, and by extension Team Texas since they were complicit in the theft of money earlier in the season. I wish there was a wrap-up show so the Twins could be confronted about their awful behavior/personalities.

  8. 8
    Fran and Berry Fran and Berry
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    Thanks for reading everyone!

  9. 9
    Mrngstar
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    I’m happy the GoatBoys won…..sheesh, if you cannot tell that that logo is of the UN, then you deserve to lose!

  10. 10
    carol
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Loved this ending!!! It was amazing. It was perfect. The Twins getting kicked of right before the final three – perfect. Lexie having a breakdown when it was time to use her mind on a challenge. Chippendales getting cars and second place. The GoatBoys winning and then CBS having the balls to show that kiss – wonderful.

    I don’t know if Josh and Brent would have prevailed on any other season. They were amazing this entire season, they truly never gave up and even were nice to the other teams. Even when they were treated with nastiness, they rose above it and ran their own race. It seemed as if every episode they were going to be going home.

    I hope the Chippendales come back for another season, the blond one was eye candy.

    For the final flags, was there some sort of light that went on when it was right? Josh/Brent got it right when he just broke it down to a logic puzzle. I remember all Phil’s mat partners saying hello to the teams, but when did they say goodbye?

  11. 11
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    @carol — Were we watching different seasons, or were you being ironic?

    Because the Josh and Brent _I_ watched bitched and moaned the entire season, came in the bottom almost every single leg, claimed they wanted to quit nearly every leg, and made me want to change the channel every time they were on my TV due to their generally pissy attitudes.

    Getting lucky every single leg for not being eliminated and winning one damn leg of the race doesn’t exactly scream “inspiring” to me. It screams “lucky” and “winning by attrition”.

    It’s a shame that a more deserving team didn’t win the prize, but at least the whiny famewhores did.

  12. 12
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Let’s also not forget that Team Chokeout waited SEVERAL times for the Goat Boys (most notably at the swimming challenge), but when it came time for them to wait for Chokeout at the U-Turn, they paid a bit of lip service to the idea, and then ran to the mat talking about how sad it made them.

    Inspirational! (Sorry, maybe I’m the only one who doesn’t like these guys. They seem like the type of people who are good at making you feel sorry for them, so you don’t realize how douchey and underhanded they can be)

  13. 13
    lindaw205
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    I didn’t really care for the Goat Boys, either, and saw the same thing you did JimBob. I really wanted the Chippendales to win. The one good thing about the win is that CBS showed them kiss. And I’m so glad the Twins didn’t win!

  14. 14
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    @linda — I’m happy that CBS went with the kiss (the “concerned moms” were too busy bitching about Ellen doing an ad for JC Penny to notice). I just wish I liked the team better that got the honor of doing so without a “Parental Advisory” note or some such nonsense.

  15. 15
    featherhead
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:31 am

    @JimbobJones – I’m with you too! I hated the Goat Boys, plus they’re lying, liars that lie! I was sooo mad that they won! The story that they are just poor widdle goat farmers, is bullshit! One’s a doctor and the other is a published author. Plus they have their own reality show.

    I wanted the Chippendales to take it all!

  16. 16
    carol
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    I am side watching Sin City Rules (I need something in the background while I finish knitting holiday presents) and someone says something about the Chippendales. I pause knitting and watch, it is James (the blonde one) from TAR. The episode is ‘what happens in vegas’. He is still very attractive and should have done the entire race shirtless.

  17. 17
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 1:42 am

    I did some research, and it looks like these guys are only one of 3 teams (out of 21) to win the race having never won a leg until the last one.

    Even worse, they’re the ONLY team to have never won a leg, and only twice have been out of the bottom 50% (and both of those times, they were 5th out of 10, and 4th out of 8, so we’re out of the “bottom 50%” only by the slimmest of margins)

    Also amazing is how they finished in the bottom 2 (or bottom 1, in a NEL) 7 out of the 12 legs of the race. These are likely the worst contestants to ever make it to the finals, much less win the whole thing.

    Ugh.

  18. 18
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    uh, JimboJones:

    You have to let it go and move on. It’s only a TV Show.

  19. 19
    Robin Robin
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    @Mister_Dangerous

    Especially when we have gems like this, written by our own Gasmi

    “Go babe!” “Come on, babe!” “I love you, babe!” GAG me, babe.”

    I think this should be included in the end of the year cool shit that folks say, post.

  20. 20
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    @Mister_Dangerous — It’s still real to me, dammit!!!

    Actually, posts like the above are what you get when I’m up working at 3am, and trying to avoid getting anything accomplished.

  21. 21
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    okay, well then carry on.

  22. 22
    sphouch
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    Withdrawals here – we’re two episodes in and nary a recap! And this is a set of teams rife with unlikeable characters!

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