Amazing Race Recap: Oy vey!

Recaps

By Fran and Berry | Wednesday, March 13, 2013 | 6:00 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Amazing Race, Recaps

Hey Race Fans! Fran here! Back from the nondescript Midwest and ready to take the plunge into this big bad season of AR. Lil’ C and I returned last night to find Berry face down in a Pillsbury pie tin. Who recaps Hoarders? Because they can come over here for some hands on experience. I’ll get to cleaning up my living quarters later, first it’s AR TIME BABY!!

Here are the teams we are working with:

Remission (Dave & Connor)

CMT (Caroline & Jennifer)

Slapshot (Bates & Anthony)

Mullet (Chuck & Wynona)

Jammer Moms (Mona & Beth)

Psycho (Max & Katie)

Broseph (Jessica & John)

Hello Kitty (Pam & Winnie)

Internet (Joey & Meghan)

And now the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…I mean #AmazingRace. Team Remission has to decide if they will continue running the race on an old ass busted ankle. Uh, I guess they are because they are really excited about flying to Bali. When they get to Bali, they have to go to Monkey Forest where a monkey will reveal their next clue. (Oh man, do not trust a clue a monkey gives you. When we were in Barbados a monkey beckoned Berry over but when Berry got close enough the monkey lunged at him and ripped his shirt right off! Do not mess with monkeys people!) So Remission goes on! Phil’s like, “You’re not giving up? Okaaaay…..” Broseph arrives second, and they want to play “strategically smart.” Wish they’d play strategically less obnoxious. I mean, that face! Boy Broseph’s face is just……something I DO NOT want to look at. Team Mullet arrives last but they are still in it! Yee-haw!!

201303132157

“Meghan! Smile for the vlog!!”

Teams that went straight to the travel agency got the 8:30 flight, but the teams that went to the airport are having to go back and get on a later flight. Travel Agency Chaos!! (The Travel Channel’s most boring show.) The no-teeth guy on Slapshot looks like Prince William or someone royal. Teams head to Bali on three different planes. The last plane is packing Internet & Broseph. Good, let them sweat it out for a little while. The first plane hits the ground and teams rush to taksis (taxis). CMT is flirting with their janky cab driver and then they start singing their own personal theme song that they wrote. I forgot what country music sounds like, the two of them singing together just made the hair on my arms stand up. Oh man, it’s like when frosting is so sweet it makes you shiver and barf! It even stirred Berry from his burrito coma. He said it sounds like a yogurt jingle. I hope they don’t sing a lot. It might give me diabetes.

201303132159

“Taksi! Tac me tu da munkees!”

Hello Kitty gets to the enchanted Monkey Forest first. Followed closely by Remission, CMT, and Psycho. They have to give the coconut to a monkey to open. CMT loves monkeys and one of them even had a flying squirrel that lived in her bra and died of loneliness. How can you die of loneliness when you are smashed against the breast of another being? I guess that’s just how vapid she is.

Index

R.I.P.

Pages: 1 2 3

Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

10 Comments

  1. 1
    NikkiHughes
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 9:18 am

    I GUFFAWED when Phil said Oy Vey. It was too funny to me. :)

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I was dying when Broseph were in that poor man’s backyard, stealing laundry off the line, using his leaf boats, flowers and the best – unwrapping the peppermint to place just so on the “boat”. He was so convinced on how smart he is. What a delusional asshole.

  3. 3
    Flippy Floppy
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 10:18 am

    That level of surfer dude stupidity was just hard to watch.

  4. 4
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    I like the picture of ROCKY.

    Uh, that John from Broseph is on some kind of medication. No one is that happy or calm when they’ve just screwed themselves out of a million dollars.

    He acts like he escaped from a mental hospital.

  5. 5
    Sara
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    You have totally made me want to play Crash Bandicoot now!!! God I loved those games on my Play Station…

  6. 6
    Chicken Lips
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    I totally love me some Phil and when he did “Oy vey!” to the camera I erupted into peals of giggles! Oh Phil, you scamp!

    If I was Broseph and I had to stay in the same room with Brogirl (what is her name?), I would sleep with one crazy eye open because homegirl’s got murder written all over her face. And I don’t blame her one iota.

  7. 7
    JimbobJones JimbobJones
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    Male Broseph is the spitting image of Jake Busey: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000998/bio (Who I really only know from Starship Troopers)

  8. 8
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 8:57 am

    I rarely feel SO BAD for one Racer, while wishing the partner would fall off a cliff. I wished Broseph would fall off a cliff, just so Brogirl could use THE EXPRESS PASS. Saying he’s dumb gives him to much credit. I didn’t dislike them before this episode (they weren’t a favorite or anything, kinda under the radar), but about half-way through Hubby and I were talking about how BADLY we were ready for them to leave our screen.

    Great recap, Fran! Sorry about the hoarder-house. My husband is crazy and CLEANS when I’m away (then I feel bad when I let our little rascals loose back inside…).

  9. 9
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    All right, Team Remission can go rot now. I thought this race had rules in that, in tasks that have to do with puzzles and searching, you can’t copy your opponents unless they specifically allow you to. Why is Connor allowed to get away with it? Because his Dad’s crippled in the race? Bull! So want them to lose now. Though the elimination this episode was very pleasant. I feel kinda bad for Jessica because she was the one who kept insisting to use the Express Pass, but that slimey weirdo boyfriend of hers kept insisting he was “playing smart”. If his plan was to get eliminated, then he did play smart.

    I’m just glad he’s gone, he was obnoxious, and I absolutely do not trust anybody who can show all 32 teeth when they smile, it reminds me of The Joker.

  10. 10
    wcsdancer
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    John was so creepy from the beginning. I loved when Phil said “this is the first time someone with an express pass has been eliminated”! Rub it in that smarmy douchebag’s face!

    I think they were trying to make a (bad) joke about CMT girl’s squirrel monkey dying of loneliness in her bra…might have been during puberty and she was not developed yet. Get it? Squirrel monkey was in the bra all alone! *eyeroll* That was my take on it. Or maybe I’m projecting since I was a late bloomer.

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