Amazing Race Recap: Rushin’ Russians

The prophecy has come to fruition.

Mama Mia is trying to get new passports issued but I guess that it will take too long to get them because they are off to say goodbye to Phil. They slowly meander over.

Goat Choke gets to Phil. He checks them both in as teams 4 and 5. Goat Boys’ four hour penalty will be incurred at the start of the next leg. What?! Wow!! Crazy. Mama Mia gets to Phil and it’s A NON-ELIMINATION LEG?! They are still in it! Phil says their “race is not over until it’s over.” Uh, maybe you shouldn’t ad-lib Phil. They will have a speed bump and they can keep racing until they need their passports. Oh boy! This is either great TV or a huge waste!

Now let’s get to this leg! FNL is off first. Making their way to the Agricultural Academy to find their next clue. FNL is in a cab and away. They do not take their lead for granted. They want to run the race hard and keep their lead. Their cab driver drops them off in a murder hole, well it looks like a murder hole. It’s like a tunnel under a train or something. They get a second cab driver who looks hilarious and is smoking a cigarette with the windows rolled up and ashing in a dixie cup. This cab driver doesn’t know where the academy is either. Golly.

“No I haven’t seen better days. Why?”

Team Dong is up up and away! They get to the academy right away. And it doesn’t open until 8. The sign said “Beyonce 8.” The Dongs love it. They settle in with their cab driver and make Beyonce jokes until FNL shows up. Eight o’clock rolls around so FNL and Dong run in and get their clues. They see that Mama Mia is Speed Bumped so they wonder what went terribly, terribly, horribly wrong for them.

Roadblock! Who is in the zone? Russia is a big ass country with nine time zones. They have to do math to figure out the time zones in five cities. Phil doesn’t explain it very well so Jaymes Dong has to re-explain it and I still don’t understand. Jaymes and Lexi are laughing and joking about how hard math is.

Phil and his brother. Neither approve of the others lifestyle.

Twin N’s are released and they remind us that they have that speed pass and that they will be using it.

FNL and Dong are still trying and they keep saying how they are idiots. “We’re dumb.” The fake professor is really hamming it up. They finally figure out that they’ve been adding too many hours and they get it correct. The fake professor couldn’t be more fake happy for them. They get their clue and IT’S A DETOUR!!!! (That was meant to be read in the style of Oprah.) Movers or Shakers! Teams must choose between something physically grueling or putting their observation skills to the test. In Movers they have to do some crazy ass Russian dancing. In Shakers they have to identify famous Russian leader impersonators at a costume party. Fun! I hope it turns into a murder mystery party.

It was Catherine the Great, in the Kremlin, with the Dong!