Amazing Race Recap: Rushin’ Russians

Twin N’s get to Phil and are team number three.

Goat Boys’ penalty is up and they leave with Mama Mia right behind them. Mama Mia starts making cell phone calls to the embassy and police station. “Can you help my find my passport if you have time? If you don’t it’s cool. I just need a new one or something but no rush.” Based on that phone call I know he’s getting way overcharged for his internet which is fine because I would hate to see him try and deal with AT&T’s customer service!

Back at the academy, Choke Out Ryan is choking out his mind. He thinks “there’s a glitch in the matrix.” And says things like, “The file is corrupt!” If that’s what he quotes when he’s frustrated I wouldn’t want to hear this guy’s pillow talk! He finally understands what he’s doing wrong, he skips the pillow talk and goes straight to making pleasured grunting sounds. Imagine the Hulk having a romantic evening with himself. Horrifying, right? So Choke Out is off to the detour.

“Choke out need candlelight and soft music!!”

Mama Mia finds a little bungalow that they claim is a police station. But the police don’t speak English. Mama Mia finds a hip youth to help translate but still no luck. But I’m not totally convinced that they are in an actual police station.

Goat Boys arrive at the academy. Brent says that he is in his element being in a rigid school environment. He’s right because he gets the time zone thing right on his first try! Crap! Wonder how far behind Choke Out they are. There still might be time to reassemble the mighty Goat Choke!! Or not, Choke Out completes the dancing right away and are on the way to Phil.

The minister of funk will now proceed with the breaking of dance!

Goat Boys chose to do Shakers, the identifying Russian leaders thing, which they nail. You see, they are very good at cocktail parties. They get it done so quickly that they hang out for a while and make toasts.

Choke Out checks in as team number four. Goat Boys are team number five.

The Amazing Race does NOT provide sunscreen.

Mama Mia does their speed bump which looks like it’s a limo ride with a priest to the pit stop. Crazy! They are the last team to arrive and they have been eliminated from the race. They have a lot, I mean a lot of quotes for their sign off. “Just go about life having fun making people smile something something.” “It’s like the old boxing coach said blah blah blah blah.” Not that we expected Mama Mia to get much further but when are people going to wise up and keep their passports on their persons? Oh well, arrivederci Mama Mia! See you at Guitar Center James and Abba!

Did you hear the one about the priest, the aging rock star and the lawyer in a limo?….They’re eliminated.