Amazing Race Recap: Turning 21! #GiveFranandBerryaFordEscape

Recaps

By Fran and Berry | Thursday, October 4, 2012 | 1:00 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Amazing Race, Recaps

Trey and Lexi get down first and they are in their comfortable and fun FORD ESCAPES on their way to China. Wow, their cars take them to China? Those must be some awesome cars! In the Ford Escapes the teams watch videos where Phil explains what flights they can take on China Air. I bet Lil’ C would love to watch her Elmo videos on that screen. Just saying. (If anyone knows somebody at Elmo Video HQ, put in a good word for us there too.)

All the teams can’t believe they are actually on the Amazing Race. The Beekman boys say they either come back with two million dollars or come back dead. Two good choices. Cut to the AR theme song. Hey Lil’ C! Do you remember this from the womb? You were movin’ and shakin’ in there to this song so much that it made you breech! Hmm, wonder if we can sue CBS for that?

The teams arrive at LAX and on the first flight are: Jaymes and James, (Apparently, that’s how they “do’s it.”) Caitlyn and Brittany, James and Abba (Mama Mia!), Amy plus one, Abbie and Ryan, Natalie and Nadiya, and Rob and Kelley. The rest are on the second flight landing an hour and a half later. Once grounded, teams must proceed to Yuanshen Sports Center Stadium to find their next clue. Oh, I hope they get to play the official sport of China, “Unrelenting Work!”

201210032152

“You’re even prettier today than the day I met you. When you were two.”

James and Abba get in a cab first and can speak a little Chinese. Take a chance on THEM! Jaymes and James are next. They say “it’s more than hot, it’s like, wet.” We get it, you’re Chippendales dancers! The cab driver will not be tipping you!

Roadbloack: Who’s ready to get paddled? This challenge pits an AR contestant against a Chinese Jr Ping Pong champion bred to humiliate and dishonor their opponent. (Just like how Lil’ C will be bred to do in Beer Pong! Go Lil’ C! Drain that triangle!) All they must do is score one point. And because these children are so incredibly superior, they’ll be using household items instead of paddles. Surprise, Surprise, these Chinese kids are kicking our sorry American asses.

201210032155

“I can’t wait to trick our parents into getting back together!”

Meanwhile Rob and Kelly are so very lost. They’re used to driving around in Monster Trucks, it must be hard to be on level ground with the world and not be able to drive over and smash anything in your way. Abbie and Ryan are the first to dishonor a child and they’re off! James and Abba are next! Fernando!

201210032208

Chinese Dwight Shrute

Back at table tennis…Oh no, Natalie and Nadiya sure do yell at each other a lot already. This does not bode well that we’re this annoyed with them already. Kelley is the last to defeat the Chinese prodigy.

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Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Pikey578
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 4:45 am

    Glad to see you are back recapping this show, Fran and Berry. And congrats on the little one! No teams really stand out yet so I haven’t decided which horse to back…

  2. 2
    Pegalicious
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 5:26 am

    So glad to have you back, Fran and Berry, and welcome to Lil’ Miss C!

    As always, your recap is filled with priceless quotes (prime example: “They gave us the chance to double our babies at the hospital too and take both twins home, but we thought one was plenty. We’re not greedy.”) The greatest danger for me is reading your recaps at work; one can only turn so many snorts of laughter into a convincing cough before someone gets suspicious.

    At this point I’m rooting for Amy and Daniel, but time will tell. It’s easier for me to decide which teams I DON’T want to win (AbbieandRyan). Definitely wasn’t sorry to see Rob and Sheila go… wherever it is they go when they’re eliminated from the race.

  3. 3
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 7:58 am

    James and Jaymes are the team I’m rootin’ for because I like really smart teams.

    Gary and Will are so gay. If they start talking about how fine the ladies are it’s just because they want to keep their substitute teaching jobs. (If they’re married — their wives are lesbians.)

    Uh, I live about a mile from that bridge in Pasadena. I drive over it all the time. At the end of the bridge is the Norton Simon Museum. (That’s where the Rose Bowl Parade starts.) I remember months and months ago driving in my truck and hearing on the radio that the bridge was closed because people were repelling off it. I didn’t put two and two together! I should have drove over and watched!

  4. 4
    Chicken Lips
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Welcome back F and B and Little Miss C.

    I for one enjoyed it when that nice team got beat to the mat..this is the Amazing Race not the Amazing Opportunity to Make Lifelong Friends! I’m sure they will remember that helpful tip when they are counting their $2 milion after the race (like they are really going to win that – what a way to set people up to fail. They will get so tight and annoying about it they will take stupid pills and get eliminated after sitting out a penalty period for taking a cab somewhere instead of walking. But I digress.).

    And why was it OK for the Twin eating eating froggie egg chutes to be having a good time while sucking tem down and getting mad when Ping Pong Twin tried to encourageright after screaming and yelling at Ping Pong Twin? I already don’t like them which probably means they will be around forever. Boo.

  5. 5
    juddfan
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Fran and Berry, Awesome recap!!! And congrats on Lil’ C . . . hmmm . . . I used that exact name and spelling in a video I did . . . I had no idea my fan base had exploded into the names of the next generation!!! Lucky me!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_wV4O2Yk98

    There’s still too many teams for me to not be utterly confused. I was texting or something when that tip happened, which I guess some of my friends found sad. When he said he got misty, I naturally assumed that the Chip’s dudes were cut . . . silly me . . .

    And Mr. D . . . I had no idea we, of similar taste in men, were living so nearby each other . . . no wonder I can never find a man in this town!!! I’m gonna find you and search your basement with some bolt cutters . . . then I’ll finally have one!!! Just tell me straight–is Russell down there???

  6. 6
    TheMiki themiki
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 6:31 am

    Excellent recap, and welcome to the new Lil C. Rumless pacifiers are child abuse, dammit! Also, it’s NOT child abuse to dope your kids up with anything and everything under the sun just so long as the package says “Children’s” on it somewhere. ***coughchildrensbenadrylcough***

    I like the Chippendales guys, and I’m a lesbian so I can promise you that it has nothing to do with their burly manliness. I just think they’re kind of sweet and adorable. Plus the last two super likable teams in Amazing Race history (Bopper and Mark from last season and The Cowboys from the two before that) had Southern accents, so I think I’m starting to have a Pavlovian response to a Southern accent on The Amazing Race, only instead of drooling it abates my blind hatred and snarkiness.

    I’m pretty sure that everyone in America is rooting for the Team Amazing Woman and That One Guy, and I’m right there with them. How do you not root for a chick who lost half of her body parts and still kicks fucking ass? I would be totally stoked if they won.

    Team Outrunthelegglessgirlthatjusthelpedusout are probably on the shit-list of most of the country. I hope they get eliminated in a super humiliating manner that involves no one being willing to help them with a clue because they’re dicks. Team Monster Truck is already on my nerves, as are the bitchy twins. The teachers are creepy, and the goat-farmers are cannon fodder. Oh, and the perky jocks that want to get married so they can finally touch naughty bits are pretty nauseating. Are they the ones that came in first? By the end of the episode all the interchangeable attractive Caucasians had started to blend together….

  7. 7
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Uh, the Chippendales came in 2nd to last; attractive and not interchangeable. Those boys seem very nice and funny but I don’t think they’re real smart.

    P.S. Juddfan:

    Russell is quite happy and doesn’t like visitors.

  8. 8
    TheMiki themiki
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I concur that the Chippendales are not smart (take THAT stereotypes!), but I was asking if the football player/cheerleader couple we met first (the ones that want the money to get married) are the ones that actually came in first, or if it was some other boring white team. I honestly lost track of how many there were this season.

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    @themiki, agreed, they’re all a blur except amazing woman team (couldn’t pick her man out in a crowd tho), the Chippendales, the big and small team, and the truck drivers . . . I’ll get them all eventually, esp. if I pay more attention!!!

    @Mr. D . . . . shouldn’t you be content with just him then . . . what about me? What about my needs!?

    ; )

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted October 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    themiki: I believe it was the quasi-abusive-dating-exes-couple that came in first. And for the record I can’t tell them apart, either.

    juddfan: I think we need to work on getting you a boyfriend, or at least laid lol. I don’t think Mr. D wants to share :-)

  11. 11
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted October 7, 2012 at 1:11 am

    All I want from this season is to have a team in the final 4 that I don’t actively dislike.

  12. 12
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted October 7, 2012 at 11:19 am

    @Jimbob: Yes! Although I’m so sick of the asshats I would like to see a team in the final *three* I don’t actively dislike lol.

  13. 13
    juddfan
    Posted October 8, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Thanks Amy Oops . . . either would be swell, and if it doesn’t involve breaking and entering, even better!!!

    Mr. D and I go way back on Russell . . . I think he even liked Judd too!!! LOL!!!

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