Pam & Winnie: Team Hello Kitty. Asian sensations with stereotypical daddy issues. But a little more fun?
Matt & Daniel: Team Out First. Spoiler! Who cares, they were out first.
So what did we miss?
Phil let them loose at Griffith Park. Hey, Fran and I live near there! Why didn’t anyone tell us, we could have mocked these people in person! Our whole family was there last month with my mom. And if anyone can berate you until you hate yourself it’s my mom!
But Phil had a twist: The first team to finish the leg would get an express pass for themselves AND another team! DRAMA! The teams went to Bora Bora, they build and destroyed sand castles until people cried and Team Broseph came in first. A couple of teams had such trouble with the sand castles they took the penalty. And meanwhile Team Out First were all cocky about their canoeing, but couldn’t keep it together and Team Out First was out first.
I wonder if they still would have been so Lance Amstrong-y if they knew he was lying when they taped this.
Team Broseph had the second Express pass. Team Remission thought they’d get it for some reason, but then it didn’t happen. A lot of drama ensued for no good reason. The teams all stayed in Bora Bora, because it”s Bora Bora and it’s beautiful! And Phil was probably all like, “Fuck it. I wanna chill here for a day. Change the roadblocks.” And they did, because it’s Phil.
So the teams had to either dive for pearls or have a picnic on a trunk under water. Two very normal Bora Bora activities, apparently.
What did we learn? Team Brother, Brother did NOT practice swimming before the race. Big mistake. And one of the dudes in Team Slapshot has fake front teeth that he can pull out and it’s seriously nasty. Team Remission is super annoying and don’t ready clues very well and the dad might have screwed up his leg by being old.
Then the teams had to kick a coconut for 35 yards on stilts. And Phil said after they kick their nut over the finish line they can get their clue. I’m pretty sure it was a dig on Team Remission. I’ll call Fran to be sure. In the end Team Slapshot came in first. Probably because those fake teeth are lightweight so they can run faster. And Team Brother, Brother who never learned to swim well even though they were going on the Amazing Race were out.
Um, you know you’re in the water, right?
And now….episode 3!
I’m all warm, wrapped up in tinfoil from the burrito’s I’ve been ordering in and I’ve got a picture of Fran and Lil’ C I drew onto a the back of a pizza box to keep me company. I forced myself to shut down Reddit and I am ready to work! Amazing Race recap here I come!