Amazing Race Recap: We’re back, baby!

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By Fran and Berry | Wednesday, March 6, 2013 | 11:45 am | 16 Comments
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Pam & Winnie: Team Hello Kitty. Asian sensations with stereotypical daddy issues. But a little more fun?

Matt & Daniel: Team Out First. Spoiler! Who cares, they were out first.

So what did we miss?

Episode 1:

Phil let them loose at Griffith Park. Hey, Fran and I live near there! Why didn’t anyone tell us, we could have mocked these people in person! Our whole family was there last month with my mom. And if anyone can berate you until you hate yourself it’s my mom!

But Phil had a twist: The first team to finish the leg would get an express pass for themselves AND another team! DRAMA! The teams went to Bora Bora, they build and destroyed sand castles until people cried and Team Broseph came in first. A couple of teams had such trouble with the sand castles they took the penalty. And meanwhile Team Out First were all cocky about their canoeing, but couldn’t keep it together and Team Out First was out first.

201303061056

I wonder if they still would have been so Lance Amstrong-y if they knew he was lying when they taped this.

Episode two:

Team Broseph had the second Express pass. Team Remission thought they’d get it for some reason, but then it didn’t happen. A lot of drama ensued for no good reason. The teams all stayed in Bora Bora, because it”s Bora Bora and it’s beautiful! And Phil was probably all like, “Fuck it. I wanna chill here for a day. Change the roadblocks.” And they did, because it’s Phil.

So the teams had to either dive for pearls or have a picnic on a trunk under water. Two very normal Bora Bora activities, apparently.

What did we learn? Team Brother, Brother did NOT practice swimming before the race. Big mistake. And one of the dudes in Team Slapshot has fake front teeth that he can pull out and it’s seriously nasty. Team Remission is super annoying and don’t ready clues very well and the dad might have screwed up his leg by being old.

Then the teams had to kick a coconut for 35 yards on stilts. And Phil said after they kick their nut over the finish line they can get their clue. I’m pretty sure it was a dig on Team Remission. I’ll call Fran to be sure. In the end Team Slapshot came in first. Probably because those fake teeth are lightweight so they can run faster. And Team Brother, Brother who never learned to swim well even though they were going on the Amazing Race were out.

201303061059

Um, you know you’re in the water, right?

And now….episode 3!

I’m all warm, wrapped up in tinfoil from the burrito’s I’ve been ordering in and I’ve got a picture of Fran and Lil’ C I drew onto a the back of a pizza box to keep me company. I forced myself to shut down Reddit and I am ready to work! Amazing Race recap here I come!

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Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

16 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    I like the brothers.
    I kind of like the hillbillies.
    3 episodes in none of the other teams appeal to me.

  2. 2
    Luke
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    I quite like team Youtube, at least they seem excited to be there. What the hell was with those doctors? If you get the chance to go swimming in Bora Bora, you freaking go swimming!

    I did not understand the obstacle course at all. Why was the dog following them? Confusion.

  3. 3
    Pegalicious
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    Haven’t yet read the recap, but WAHOO! So glad to see you back! (Now let me get back to work before my boss walks by…)

  4. 4
    NikkiHughes
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Maybe it’s because I just started taking Estroven and EVERYTHING is funny and fun to me now, but holy canoli you had me bursting into laughter every other sentence. :D

  5. 5
    dawn
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    I haven’t started reading yet, just so excited to see your name! :)

  6. 6
    blazergirl
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Yay! So glad you are back. I was starting to come to terms with an Amazing Race season with no Fran and Berry recap :(

    I thought it was actually really smart of Team Broseph to give the express pass to Team Remission. They knew with the severity of his injury that there is no way they will make it to the end and that the express pass would get used quickly and then no longer be of a threat to them.

  7. 7
    unwise
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    So glad you are back!! The other half of Team CMT is a Daniel Boone descendant. That is their gimmick.

  8. 8
    lindaw205
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    So far there is no team I’m rooting for. I kinda like Team Mullet but is there anything the wife can do except flop around in the bottom of a boat? When he hauled her into that boat like a fish I cracked up and had to rewatch it.

    And I just can’t get behind Team Crybaby. Every time the dad goes all Kermit voice and starts crying I just want to kick his leg out from under him. I would be okay with them if the dad would tone it down some.

    I love your recaps and so glad you’re back!

  9. 9
    Clair Clair
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    Team Remission Dad needs to shut up. Yap, yap, yap, yammering on and on and on. Ugh.

  10. 10
    carol
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    I will admit, I didn’t start watching until I saw that it was going to be recapped again. Odd I know, but the awesome Fran&Berry recaps are such a huge part of why I like this show. Thank you for coming back!!

    I am only halfway through episode 2. But I just had to comment that if I ever applied for TAR (or Survivor), and I knew the application was going forward, I would get professional help. I can already swim really well, but I would still get professional lessons. I would get a trainer and get up my running endurance (especially while carrying something). I would more than likely also get a professional help to help my fears. It always annoys me when people apply or are casted and act surprised when water is involved. Has there ever been a season of TAR (or Survivor) that doesn’t involve some water challenge? Or running? Or some type of scary thing (ex heights, bugs, etc)?

    Okay, back to TAR.

  11. 11
    Chicken Lips
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    Was the greater in NZ Big Philly’s dad again? I’m thinking so because he’s got some brows. And Tim the dog is cute.

    The people of Team Psycho favorited my tweet where apparently I didn’t RT someone else’s disdain, so it looks like I tweeted my disdain. I don’t know what favoriting a tweet is, but maybe that means I’m famous!

  12. 12
    jen
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Team Slapshots names are Anthony and Bates. Anthony Bates. I just read his real first name is Jonathan but I think their troll parents nicknamed him Bates for pure humor. Bates Battaglia played here in Syracuse for part of a season I guess. Little local connection. Go team HOCKEY

  13. 13
    Pegalicious
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 5:47 am

    Hope Fran and Lil’ C are home soon, Berry; thanks for recapping. You do a great job!

  14. 14
    sphouch
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 6:25 am

    It does seem like there’s a lot of scheming schemers this season, which is unfortunate in that it severely limits the number of likeable teams (for me), but could make for some interesting viewing. It’s always fun to hear a team say We want to pretend to work with (team X) just so we can keep them close by and screw them on the way to the pitstop as opposed to, you know, trying to win outright.

    On the whole I’d rather have a team in the game like the Chippendales, or the Cowboys from a couple years back, or the hot docs who won where the vegetarian had to eat a sheep’s head and the other doctor had diabetes but hardly ever mentioned it – someone I could get behind and root for. This season I thought it could be the twin doctors, but they screwed it up by being aqua-phobic. In the little bit I’ve seen so far, I could see myself rooting for remission if they could stop whining about just wanting to go a little further after getting through so much. But for the moment, I think the hockey dudes or Alabama folks might be the ones I support.

    The asian girls said something in the introduction that made them sound like gold diggers… CMT look like they’re playing The Bachelor: Amazing Race, Youtube and Broseph and Psycho all come across as tools, which is impairing my ability to suffer them at all.

    I just realized, I forgot all about Roller Derby… I think that pretty accurately summarizes my thoughts on them.

    Anyway, let’s hope this season provides some good fireworks!

  15. 15
    Flippy Floppy
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 7:27 am

    Team Remission says, \I bet no one won a leg on crutches before.\ Yeah, probably not because that’s just stupid.

  16. 16
    Aly
    Posted March 11, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    So glad you’re back!! Hope Fran and Lil ‘C are back soon too. It’s not much of a show without your recaps.

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