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Zzzzzzz.. What happened?! Okay, NOW I’m ready!
Nine teams remains. Who will be eliminated next?! We start with Team Remission dad talking about his Achilles tendon pop. Gross! They have to take him to a specialist and it looks like that will be it for them. Or is it? I hope it is.
@PhilKeoghan tells us Bora Bora is the most romantic island in the world. Phil! My Fran is out of town! Why are you rubbing salt in my wounds! My many various wounds from trying to open cans of chili!
Team Slapshot leaves first. By the way, his name is Bates, huh? What awful parent would name their kid Bates? I bet he’s a real Master. And worse than that it reminds me of Bates from Downton Abbey. Go back to prison you annoying weirdo!
Now teams are headed to Christchurch New Zealand. Sounds religious. Even more religious than Jesusfootwash, Wisconsin. Teams must then get in their product placement, excuse me FORD FOCUS!!! and head to Rakaia River Gorge.
Team Remission leaves next so I guess they’re still in the race. Dad says he is going to see a Dr. in Tahiti and get a sonogram. Wait, is he pregnant too?! I think I am, with a burrito baby. It sure is kicking a lot. Where’s that empty KFC bucket?
Team Broseph decides to give their express pass to Team Remission because they’re injured. It doesn’t make much sense, but just ride the wave I guess.
That headband covers up the lobotomy scar nicely.
Team Internet leaves next. These guys are really giving Youtube a bad name. They’re so annoying. Did you know that I, Barry, work for Epic Rap Battles of History on the Youtubes? It’s true. I’m just saying all Yotubers don’t suck. And that some Youtube videos have a concept and production value and some actual talent.
Then Team Mullet leaves and they talk about what hicks they are, blah, blah, blah. They’re followed by Jammer Moms that AR doesn’t seem very interested in.
Team Broseph is turning out to be pretty shady. Acting all weird about plane tickets with this big creepy Drop Dead Fred smile. I think he might me on shrooms.
Team CMT leaves next, then Team Psycho and Team Hello Kitty is last.
Teams land in Faa’a…rt Tahiti. Ha! Sometimes not having Fran around is fun! BUT I MISS HER AND LIL’ C SO MUCH! And I think this Tinkerbell costume is giving me a rash.
Of course everything is closed and they all have to wait so everyone can catch up. Team Remission goes to the hospital and dad is messed up! His achilles tendon is torn. So that’s it? Nope! They got crutches and a boot and they’re gonna keep going? What the hell! How can he do anything?
“I think you are having quintuplets. Oh wait, those are toes.”