This is…finally the finale. Not that I haven’t enjoyed this season but all I want, once a competition begins, is to know who the winner is. Now. And finally we are there. After tonight. Doh!
I have to say that I am extremely annoyed that little miss Jessica is still in the competition. Come ON voters! Poor breathing techniques does not a good singer make!!!
I’m not really shocked that Phillip is still around as, though he is not the strongest vocalist, he is the most consistent and he does make the tweens hearts pitter. Before we even get to the episode my vote is for Phillip to take it.
The judges enter and I have decided I like the stylist they have for Jennifer. Until I realize that her dress is a shirt and the pants are AWFUL! What in the hell is up with this outfit? Sure she eventually sits down so no one sees the pants but I SAW THE PANTS AND I CAN’T UNSEE THEM!! The boys looks like the boys and with that we are off!!
Put the pants away and nobody gets hurt.
Ryanne tells us that the Idols will sing three songs tonight. First a song chosen by Idol creator Simon Fuller, the second song will be a season favorite chosen by the Idols, and the final song will be a song that each chose to be their winning single as American Idol.
Here we go…
Jessica Sanchez
I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston
Grrrrrrrrrrowling through a ballad
Dear sweet baby Jeebus. For my review of this song please just read my last 900 reviews of Jessica Sanchez. Not the night for same ole’, same ole’. If anything, being on Idol should allow Jessica to win vocal lessons. Hell, I’ll even pay. Wait. No I won’t. But she should win some. This kid could be a force with the right vocal direction.
Letter Grade – C for the Coma you have put me in
Phillip Phillips
Stand By Me by Ben E. King
Super happy to be singing this mellow tune
I really like this mellow toned down version of this song. No over-the-top Phillip on this one. Just a pretty melody and so well done. He might not have vocal chops but he does know how to use what he has.
Letter Grade – O for OK now get better.
Ryanne asks the judges to call the round.
Jennifer says – The battle of the opposites. She’s a vocal great and he’s a crooner. (The first part is right. I think you had a stroke before the last part of your statement though.
Randy says – Jessica won round 1. (Okay Randy. We’ll hold off on round two while you clean out your ears)
Next as a palate cleanser we get a song by Jason Durulo. You know that song called Undefeated that Idol has been using to whore out Coke? Ya that one. Let’s go to my notes…
He’s offkey. Where is the Harmony? LOL. The song is fine, the lack of autotune is not. How do these people have contracts and my cat does not? At least she can hold a note. FOR HOURS. On the up he can kind of dance. Kind of. I feel that Undefeated has been defeated by a KO in the first round due to lack of vocals.
I just had a major neck/back injury so I’m just gonna stand on this folding chair. K?
Back to why we are here…Round 2
Jessica Sanchez
The Prayer by Celine Dion/Andre Bocelli
57 notes were killed in the time it took to capture this still
How in the holy hell do you over sing the first three notes? Just ask Jessica. She is taking this song and in place of emotion she is giving a vocal floor routine with her gymnastics. Could have been a beautiful song has she just sung it instead of trying to do runs.
Letter Grade – T for Three on the floor routine but maybe you’ll do better on the uneven bars.
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6 Comments
I don’t think either singer had a great first song, but Philip’s 2nd song showed off his personality and quirkiness – in a good way (for his fans). The 3rd song choice was perfect! A simple melody, a love song, guitar, and the harder parts (the runs in the chorus) were smoooothed over by the backup singers, giving us the illusion of good pitch. It sounded like a finale song.
Jessica’s 3rd song was awful. It showed off all the weaknesses in her voice: the squealing, the grunting, the clenching. American Idol or Deliverance? I haven’t been able to tell all season. Also, I think she’s trying to add more emotional range to her songs, so she sings more softly, but it just comes across as mopey and lifeless.
Is it just me, or was this finale much more rinky-dink than previous finales? I could hardly tell they were in a different theater, the staging seemed unchanged, and even the costuming (except for J-Lo, whose top half dressed up for the occasion, and Jessica’s hem up absurdly in the air) was boring. Well, Philip’s always is, of course.
I hate Jason DeRulo, mostly because his first single was creepy and rapey (lyrical sample: “In my head, you fulfill my fantasy. You’ll be screaming no.”) Also, in the grand tradition of hip hop, he completely ruined one of the most beautifully haunting songs of the last 30 years, “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap, all for his own self-aggrandizement (I doubt it was ever her intention to have the phrase “Jason DeRulo” appear in the middle of it).
So I’ve dreaded his inevitable performance all season. Tonight, I noticed he seemed to be having some issues around his, erm, crotchal area. Seems the darned thing just refused to stay to the left, and he seemed to have particular trouble going up and down stairs, as he held onto it for dear life the whole time. I started counting… and yes, folks, Jason grabbed his penis 18 times while singing the song, plus one more time while talking to Ryan afterwards. Thankfully he switched that paw to the mic before giving Ryan a big handshake.
I’m gonna have to agree with you….Phillip was the only one with any individuality and uniqueness the entire season, though I think he blew his song choices occasionally. I’d like to see him do something more along the lines of Joe Purdy or Rob Thomas (not the one he chose). I think he might have a shot at stardom if he did. Jessica was too ‘cruisy’ from the get-got and last night, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure she sang the same song three times. In fact, I’m gonna just say it….She sang the same song all season. That girl is a one trick pony and said trick is frankly booooring. Whichever of the two wins, Phillip is the only one who will garner any fame.
(side note: you really got a thing for scotty boy??)
@cherrylipgloss I don’t have a thing for Scotty per se but his deep voice turns my insides all quivery. I didn’t even know who he was until a few weeks ago. Now shhhh, he’s whispering in my ear.
Ok I’m just going to say it out loud, I don’t quite know why, but I thought this season sucked. I stopped watching about 6 weeks ago, but I would tune in near the end every week. I thought as time went on, the Idols got worse rather than better. Jessica blew me away when she sang I Will Always Love You weeks ago, but after that- Blah. Phillip is ok, but I see a Kris Allen (who?) future for him if he wins. Same for Jessica.
Pearl, sorry to tell you Scotty makes me want to stick forks in my eyeballs and cotton in my ears, could be that I am so not a fan of country unless it’s the 60′s versions I grew up listening too at home with the fam. You can have him!
@Pat—nope– dont feel funny saying it. I lost alot of interest too. I saw very talented people leave and teeny-boppers with little talent stick around. The results are manipulated for ratings–I know that shocks none of us. Hopefully next season there will be the ability for judges to save more people–like if 3 talented people are in the bottom 3 then save them ALL!!!!!
No shock that Phil is around–I knoew he wiould stck around and I agree with pearl that he will win. Jessica has peaked. Her first song started good and then she crashed. Smug Phillip did very well with his final song and had a couple of good weeks. Yes–some reason the tweener gals love him. I think he needs a good scrubbing myself but hey I am still missing Skylar and Elise.
Anytime I hear PP sing I want to reach into his mouth and remove the gauze the dentist left there five years ago. And then I want to take a big old rubber mallet and bop him on the head until he finally just sings the goddamned melody, dammit. He makes every song sound like the same pile of mumbled puke. At least he usually has Hot Sax Girl around to back him up.
I kind of liked his last song, although of course someone who can actually sing would do a much better job with it. This guy doesn’t deserve a national career.
I get what you’re saying about Jessica, but really, does any of that matter? She’s obviously trying for a pop-diva-singer career, which she’ll do really well at, as soon as she turns 18.
This has been the worst season since I started watching — and I thought they couldn’t sink any lower after last season.