This is…finally the finale. Not that I haven’t enjoyed this season but all I want, once a competition begins, is to know who the winner is. Now. And finally we are there. After tonight. Doh!
I have to say that I am extremely annoyed that little miss Jessica is still in the competition. Come ON voters! Poor breathing techniques does not a good singer make!!!
I’m not really shocked that Phillip is still around as, though he is not the strongest vocalist, he is the most consistent and he does make the tweens hearts pitter. Before we even get to the episode my vote is for Phillip to take it.
The judges enter and I have decided I like the stylist they have for Jennifer. Until I realize that her dress is a shirt and the pants are AWFUL! What in the hell is up with this outfit? Sure she eventually sits down so no one sees the pants but I SAW THE PANTS AND I CAN’T UNSEE THEM!! The boys looks like the boys and with that we are off!!
Put the pants away and nobody gets hurt.
Ryanne tells us that the Idols will sing three songs tonight. First a song chosen by Idol creator Simon Fuller, the second song will be a season favorite chosen by the Idols, and the final song will be a song that each chose to be their winning single as American Idol.
Here we go…
I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston
Grrrrrrrrrrowling through a ballad
Dear sweet baby Jeebus. For my review of this song please just read my last 900 reviews of Jessica Sanchez. Not the night for same ole’, same ole’. If anything, being on Idol should allow Jessica to win vocal lessons. Hell, I’ll even pay. Wait. No I won’t. But she should win some. This kid could be a force with the right vocal direction.
Letter Grade – C for the Coma you have put me in
Stand By Me by Ben E. King
Super happy to be singing this mellow tune
I really like this mellow toned down version of this song. No over-the-top Phillip on this one. Just a pretty melody and so well done. He might not have vocal chops but he does know how to use what he has.
Letter Grade – O for OK now get better.
Ryanne asks the judges to call the round.
Jennifer says – The battle of the opposites. She’s a vocal great and he’s a crooner. (The first part is right. I think you had a stroke before the last part of your statement though.
Randy says – Jessica won round 1. (Okay Randy. We’ll hold off on round two while you clean out your ears)
Next as a palate cleanser we get a song by Jason Durulo. You know that song called Undefeated that Idol has been using to whore out Coke? Ya that one. Let’s go to my notes…
He’s offkey. Where is the Harmony? LOL. The song is fine, the lack of autotune is not. How do these people have contracts and my cat does not? At least she can hold a note. FOR HOURS. On the up he can kind of dance. Kind of. I feel that Undefeated has been defeated by a KO in the first round due to lack of vocals.
I just had a major neck/back injury so I’m just gonna stand on this folding chair. K?
Back to why we are here…Round 2
The Prayer by Celine Dion/Andre Bocelli
57 notes were killed in the time it took to capture this still
How in the holy hell do you over sing the first three notes? Just ask Jessica. She is taking this song and in place of emotion she is giving a vocal floor routine with her gymnastics. Could have been a beautiful song has she just sung it instead of trying to do runs.
Letter Grade – T for Three on the floor routine but maybe you’ll do better on the uneven bars.