Oh yay! Because someone hates me now they are doing a mashup of the Ford commercials. At the end of that we meet the kids mentors. Ford gives the kids & their mentors, cars. I hope that comes with money for repairs FORD.
They are comforting each other because now they have to own Fords
Time Killer #975
Rihanna singing Where Have You Been
Finally someone who can actually sing her songs without munching the fuck out of it. However, lady looks as bored as me. I just can’t win with these performances. Idol call me. We’ll fix this shit up quick.
Oh sorry. Did we wake you?
Oh hey! Here’s a performance I might like. It’s my old buddy Skylar Laine. And she brought along Reba McEntire. My fish. You can barely distinguish their voices when they sing together. And Skylar’s old habits are back as she bounces around and screams.
Lord love a duck. Now it’s Jessica Sanchez singing Whitney’s I Will Always Love You…
And both of my children just burst out laughing. Apparently my expression is a cross between someone needs a beating and who shit the bed. Their words not mine. Ha! My love for Jessica knows no bounds!
I’m sure you’re a nice kid and all but I hope we never meet
Bad Idol Idea #763
The top 12 guys are doing a medley. The high school musical director who does these needs to “accidentally” fall into a shark tank whilst covered in paper cuts. Now my eye won’t stop twitching. Yes. My eye twitching is more important than this bus accident.
But wait…Neil Diamond shows up. Why are my panties trying to crawl down my leg and throw themselves at the TV? Phew, the boys are back and my panties have climbed firmly up my ass. Crisis averted.
Chastity Belt 2.0
The producers, like myself, have noticed that Randy over uses a few phrases such as ”You could sing the phone book.” So the kids sing the phone book. Quite funny really! KILLED ME!
It’s just liposuction
Jennifer Lopez appears as time killer #1758
That’s lovely. She does some very nice lip syncing. Not at all hypocritical for the judge of a singing competition to lip sync her performance. Hate those fucking white poopy pants though. And why is she grabbing her crotch.
That is a vagina in there right?
Sweet MOTHER! Is it time yet???? I hope whomever loses cries and curses. I hate good losers. None of this – oooh at least I made it to the finals. Screw that. Did you win? No? L. O. S. E. R.
Fuck me. Still a half hour. I just wanna get to the results already! Have I mentioned how I lack patience? Shocking right?
Hey. Look out there into the audience. It’s Idol castoffs Dianna DeGarmo and Ace Young. THe first Idol couple. Since we are all waiting with bated breath hear what is going on in their lives Ryan mentions that the couple have recently moved in together. You know…Ace looks a little nervous. Anyone wanna bet what’s going on here?
OH YES HE DID! Ace proposed to Dianna and she tearfully said yes. Kinda cute. The bats that live in the dark cave where my heart should be are almost smiling.
They even brought a flower girl
Yay! More duets! This go around it’s Hollie Cavanagh and Jordan Sparks. Dare I say it? Hollie is a MUCH better singer than Jordan. Much. And Jordan, by her body language, knows it. Jealous much? The bats are smiling this time for sure.
If I can’t see the better singer, she isn’t here