American Idol Recap: Dudes Look Like Ladies

11 Comments

1. 1
   Gilty Plezzur
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 11:33 am

   I was going to bypass AI this year because it seemed as though it had run out of gas, but then I read about Zoanette and Charlie Askew and decided to peek in on the thing once again. Those two misfits are the only reason I DVR AI. Do I think they have a future in music? No. Do I think they’re entertaining and a fuck-you to the whole Idol process? Yes. The rest of the contestants are bo-RING and I fast-forward through most of them, enabling me to see a two-hour bloat in about 15 minutes. I hope Zoanie and Charlie are in it for the long haul. Otherwise, I’m tunin’ out. Don’t NOBODY make little Charlie cry again!! (PS, keep him away from any firearms.)

   Nick Boddington looks like one of RuPaul’s drag contestants wandered onto the wrong set looking for her missing makeup case.

   The last one–what’s his name?–they’re all so forgettable–Vincent Baldwithglasses looks like Al Roker. Watch the sharting, Vince, when you hit those glory notes.

2. 2
   TripleThick
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 11:54 am

   Hahahaha, now I’m trying to picture how Ryan would deal with an onstage shart attack.

   You’re right – I’d take a million Charlies and Zoanettes over another blah Boyz II Men ballad. What a snoozefest.

3. 3
   juddfan
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 5:33 pm

   I thought Curtis was way over the top, and he shan’t be forgiven for destroying \Superstar\ last time.

   Cortez wasn’t as bad as they said, neither was Vincent . . . I’d take ‘em both over Curtis, IMHO.

   I loved Nick in tryouts, but not so much last night. It can’t be his fault his head is shaped that way.

   @Triple Thick and @ Gilty . . . too bad they didn’t keep JDA, you would have put him/her on your crazy train too!

4. 4
   joye
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 5:55 pm

   I was looking at these finalists and thinking maybe they’ll look better after Makeover Week. Then I realized that I’m not watching either America’s Top Model or The Biggest Loser. Bummer.

5. 5
   purplex15
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 7:47 pm

   Penis with a little hat….. Its funny because its true.

   I’m not 100% positive, but i think I saw that documentary……

   I felt bad for Charlie. He has sucked this entire time, the judges just decided to fill him in on it.

6. 6
   cherryred
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 10:10 pm

   Agador Sparticus OMG, that shit’s funny, I don’t care who you are.

   I do adore that kid tho. Charlie too, but he’s too eccentric for this much exposure to the ugly that is the internet AI websites. I don’t think he was prepared to be internet fodder. Bless his heart.

7. 7
   itchy
   Posted March 8, 2013 at 2:34 am

   The very idea of actually sitting down and watching this show — including the no-doubt endless commercials — without being able to fast-forward gives me a nasty case of hemmoroids.

   I used to fast-forward through most of the “performances” — you only really need to hear the opening verse and the final glory note — and listen to the judges. But this year’s crop looks like a bunch of Muppets. And talk like them too.

   So yeah, at this point, I could probably watch the entire season in about half an hour or so.

8. 8
   Gilty Plezzur
   Posted March 8, 2013 at 9:52 am

   Juddfan, yes, I was disappointed that JDA got the boot. He was fun to watch, as was Mr. Peaches, or whatever his name was. The thing is, most of the ones they actually put in the top 10 don’t sing much better than the oddballs they weed out. At least Zoanette and Charlie were fun to watch (I had to mute Zoanette a time or two). Can you imagine shelling out money and sitting through a concert of this year’s lot? Torture!

9. 9
   juddfan
   Posted March 8, 2013 at 12:22 pm

   @Guilty, I’ve actually seen a couple of the concerts . . . they were given away at my work, and since I was the only one interested, I got to go. They all do sound better at that point, but it’s disjointed at best.

   I would have been interested to see what america would have done with a JDA, and Zonette was best with the circle of life, the rest was dreck! She seems like a really warm and sweet “mothering” type. She was funny when she brought that transgender looking girl dress shopping!

10. 10
    jessiecpt
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Is it weird that I remember that documentary on HBO and I remember that scene in the alleyway? It was so traumatic for me to see that side of human behavior–I just never forgot it. It was called Hookers on The Point.

11. 11
    TripleThick
    Posted March 9, 2013 at 11:31 am

    @jessiecpt, YEEEEEESSSS! That’s the one! I feel strange getting excited over such a sad documentary, but nobody I talk to knows what the hell I’m talking about.