American Idol Recap: Talent Impediments

Oh, good. Time to revisit Country Queen. They’re performing “More than Words” by Extreme, and I’m squee-ing, because when I was a kid, my big sister and her high school boyfriend used to sing this all the time: she’d sing, and he would play guitar. So I’ve had the lyrics AND melody of this song memorized since I was nine, which is why it annoys the HELL out of me when I see someone screw it up! It’s a simple song! Even when they’re not messing up the song, they’re over-dramatizing it. They’re. All. Terrible. Two of the four are through, including the guy who is wearing pants so tight you can see a clear outline of his junk. 

I don’t ask for much, Lord, but couldn’t I have been provided with a picture a little closer up to the guy with the tight pants so that we could all gaze upon his junk once more?

DKSK, four really young guys whose voices haven’t changed yet, are up next. They’re performing Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time,” which seems like a risky choice for them, because it’s a really low song, and again, their voices haven’t changed yet. There’s one kid who has a sad disease that makes it so that he probably won’t live past the age of 35, and he forgets the lyrics. He gets kicked off along with one other of the four kids, while two of them are through. 

The next group is up (Oz?), and they’re all disagreement, all the time. They have disagreement over song choice, choreography, arrangement, etc. And now Frankie, who is obvs a camera hog, is having asthma issues, and crying. They finally take the stage to perform “American Boy” by Estelle and Kanye, and it’s a hot mess. The judges obviously want to like it, but really, only Charles Allen from Michigan is bringing it. Nicki singles out Frankie as the one who fell apart. Frankie is the only one leaving, and some guy named Papa Peaches (seriously?) barely squeaks by, along with the other two members of the group. Frankie has a breakdown, crying in front of the cameras, babbling about how he’s going to come back next year and win. Yeah, okay. 

So what do you think, Gasmii? Is Frankie all drama or is there actual talent somewhere in there? Do these contestants have it easier than they did back in the Good Old Days of American Idol? Should offensive headwear and pants that are too tight be against the rules? Let me know what you think in the comments section below! And please look for my season finale recap of BUCKWILD, later this week! Thanks!

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