American Idol S12-E9 Recap: Lyrics Schmyricks…The Ladies Take On Hollywood

Recaps

By NouveauPoor | Sunday, February 17, 2013 | 12:32 am | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: American Idol, Recaps

Since this is Idol and it’s been four whole minutes without a montage, we’re next treated to an emotional series of clips showing girls being cut, including Baton Rouge auditioner and 2008 Miss University of Arkansas Ann Defani, who may have peaked with the big win back in college. Their dreams dashed, many are in tears. Welcome to Life, kids.

And guess what?  It doesn’t really get easier.

What’s with the new skinny headband across the forehead thing? We see that look a lot this episode.

After a commercial, we return in the afternoon (still no Randy) to a lineup including country girls Rachel Hale, 21, and Janelle Arthur, 23. We know they’re country girls thanks to the #idolcountrygirls hashtag that flashes on the screen.

Rachel is the happiest girl there ever was with a persistent smile and a great voice. While she sings, Nikki whispers to Keith that Rachel is so relatable. Nikki and Keith seem to be developing quite a rapport (Nikkeith?), what with Randy not bothering to show up and Mariah in some sort of permanent stupor leaving her unable to carry on a coherent conversation.

Where am I?

Janelle also does well and the two of them are among those asked to step forward and move on to the group round. Their success jumpstarts yet another montage of yeses, leaving me feeling all warm and fuzzy by the time the next group of ten are ushered onto the stage.

Included in this group is Candice Glover, the Charlotte auditioner who made it all the way to Vegas before being cut last season. She worked really hard in the offseason and wowed the judges with her audition.

Candice does not disappoint

Also up is Baton Rouge auditioner Megan Miller, who was in a car accident two days before her audition and put off leg surgery to be there anyway. Megan charmed the judges at her audition, even singing into her crutch. Tonight, however, was not her night. Keith breaks the news…Candice is asked to step forward, while Megan remains in the back row of rejection, left to tearily ponder whether it was worth risking permanent disfigurement by delaying leg surgery just to be in the top 173.

After another montage of successes, our final group for round 1 takes the stage in a last ditch effort to make the group round. First we hear from Isabelle, who oddly has no last name. If she’s that much of a megastar why is she here? Also, given that every third baby girl born in the US for the last 10 years has been named Isabelle or Isabella, it seems like she’d want the last name as a distinguisher. Who knows.

Witness Protection?

Isabelle says she was sorely lacking in confidence at her audition, but that the praise from the judges has really helped with that, reminding me of Sally Fields’ Oscar speech.

“You like me!!!!!”

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NouveauPoor

Shrunk right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former full-time patent attorney in her third year of severe underemployment.  Following a tough decision to stop paying for cable, she found solace in TVgasm recaps and is thrilled to become a part of such a talented team of snark.  She is currently living in Las Vegas with her three-year-old daughter.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Considerthis
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 7:48 am

    I thought American Idol was going to be discreet and sneaky in it’s agenda to have a female winner – guess not.

    What will they do if a Transgender wins?

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 9:52 am

    “Shim” is great. I’m pretty sure that’s going to become more and more necessary in this oh-so-progressive times. But that Kezblah really annoyed the fuck out of me. She’s probably pretty decent doing her thing, which is the opposite of the Idol karoake concept. Makes you wonder what the hell she’s doing there? I’m guessing some producer paid her to show up.

    Morgan Leigh Boberg describes herself as an ‘unconditional lover.’ so. Yes! She’s got my vote already.

    Shira had a hit record in Israel, which explains the ‘tude. Don’t know why she’s allowed on Idol though. And she needs to do a lot more work on pronunciation anyway. Next!

    You forgot one of the standouts (for me, anyway) — beautiful black girl with a mohawk thing with a great raspy voice. Hope she stays in there.

    Yes, Idol’s desperate for a female winner. But they’re going to end up with a cute(ish) male country singer strumming a guitar anyway. Give it up, Idol! Amurrica knows what it wants!

  3. 3
    OhYeahMeToo
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    I am not an Idol watcher and just thought I would read the recap from the posted photo… I DO love a train wreck. I have not finished the recap but have already laughed hysterically ( and to the point of personal embarrassment ) over MiniPoor, NakieDance, and CPS….I think I love you !

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 12:58 am

    The comments in the latest Idol recap are broken? So we don’t get to bitch about what a fucking waste of time the last episode was? Why does this show insist on NOT showing us most of the singers who might eventually have a shot at the competition? Since it’s a singing show after all. Stupid stupid show.

    Idol’s format sucks. Why do they waste 5 weeks on those ridiculous auditions, most of which consist of allowing people to make fools of themselves in front of the camera? Things only get interesting with Hollywood Week, but then they don’t even bother to show 1/10 of the competitors.

    And they’ll end up picking the most boring of the bunch for the live shows. And the first finger-at-the-sky-pointin’ country singer will win anyway.

    Here’s hoping people get behind that trainwreck who played the drums this week. What’s her name? Shoanette? What a fucking joke she was. Guess they couldn’t keep TWO freaks though.

  5. 5
    NouveauPoor
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    Ha ha @itchy it’s ZOANette. ?!? I haven’t seen Idol since I was conned into taking my then-husband’s 14yo daughter to see the Season 2 tour. I’m poised to take over recapping duties once the four-month-long auditions are finally over so this was a good assignment to catch up a little bit. Wonder why the comments are broken?

    Shim is actually straight from the mouth of that now 22-year-old ex-stepdaughter. She’s pretty great. :-)

    I can’t believe I missed someone! I hope Mohawk made it to the semis!

    @OYMT – oh thank you so much!!! I’m new around here and I really do appreciate the love. :-) . I’d write more now but I’m furiously cleaning the house in case someone finally takes “I’M SCARED OF THR NAKIE DANCE!” the wrong way and CPS shows up…

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I think Mohawk girl had the best voice of the bunch AND she was beautiful. But obviously the producers have already decided which girls they’re pimping for the win, and she’s not one of them. Shame.

    I’m sticking with Shoanette. It’s Shit-ona-nette. Because that woman is just tragic. Idol is really really sinking low there.

  7. 7
    Delisha
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Kez Ban, well she is on her own level. I’m not implying that she is not talented I just think that she has thing where she just has to do her own thing. From what I saw in a clip in my office, it’s pretty hit and miss. Anyone who watched her first audition knows that she was great and by the time it came down to her solo she completely missed the mark. I think she just lost everyone with where she wanted the song to go.

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