American Idol S12-E9 Recap: Lyrics Schmyricks…The Ladies Take On Hollywood

Recaps

By NouveauPoor | Sunday, February 17, 2013 | 12:32 am | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: American Idol, Recaps

Isabelle does an amazing job, earning her way into the group round just in time for us to get up close and personal with Kez Ban, this season’s oddest duck and general pain in the ass.

Kez is 27 and fairly androgynous. In fact, knowing that this episode was part of Ladies Week in Hollywood, when I first saw Kez standing onstage I thought I had clicked on the wrong video because why was that guy standing there? Maybe he couldn’t show up on the guys’ days so they let him come today?

Thanks for that #idolgirls hashtag to clear things up.

Kez interviewed in a dress in Chicago so we know for sure s/he is a girl.

Androgynous Idol

Kez is eccentric, to put it politely. In his/her words: “I don’t necessarily think I fit in well anywhere.” This admission is followed by clips of Kez acting very oddly, including screaming at the top of his/her lungs for other performers even though this is a singing competition and taking care of one’s voice seems like it should be paramount, random calisthenics backstage while everyone else waits quietly in line, and just general antisocial, uncooperative behavior directed at anyone in his/her vicinity.

Kez is part of the last lineup for round 1, a group that includes Briana Oakley, 16, who does really well. It’s possible that the judges are tired and/or tone deaf after a long day of judging because they end the day on the high note by letting all the girls from the last group through. Kez actually doesn’t do that great so I’m pretty sure they only let shim through for the freaky factor.

Day 1 is a wrap, with nearly 80 girls advancing to the Group Round. When we return from a commercial, the ladies are filing into the auditorium all abuzz about a change to group round this season.

As if working together under pressure with no sleep in the company of a bunch of catty girls wasn’t enough, this year Idol is going to assign the groups instead of letting the girls pick their own. That means any one quartet could include three #idolcountrygirls and an R&B specialist.  Or three relatively normal people and Kez Ban.

The quartets are formed and the girls must work quickly. They have to pick a song from a given list, arrange harmonies, and choreograph a routine for performance on stage…the next morning. It’s already like 9pm.

Some groups agree on a song fairly quickly and leave to start rehearsals. Other groups struggled to find any common ground regarding song choice, thus cutting into their practice time while acting as a clear indicator of drama to come.

Through a series of clips, we see different groups rehearsing. Of note are The Poohsnaps, including three #idolcountrygirls and Zoanette:

Not an #idolcountrygirl

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NouveauPoor

Shrunk right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former full-time patent attorney in her third year of severe underemployment.  Following a tough decision to stop paying for cable, she found solace in TVgasm recaps and is thrilled to become a part of such a talented team of snark.  She is currently living in Las Vegas with her three-year-old daughter.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Considerthis
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 7:48 am

    I thought American Idol was going to be discreet and sneaky in it’s agenda to have a female winner – guess not.

    What will they do if a Transgender wins?

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 9:52 am

    “Shim” is great. I’m pretty sure that’s going to become more and more necessary in this oh-so-progressive times. But that Kezblah really annoyed the fuck out of me. She’s probably pretty decent doing her thing, which is the opposite of the Idol karoake concept. Makes you wonder what the hell she’s doing there? I’m guessing some producer paid her to show up.

    Morgan Leigh Boberg describes herself as an ‘unconditional lover.’ so. Yes! She’s got my vote already.

    Shira had a hit record in Israel, which explains the ‘tude. Don’t know why she’s allowed on Idol though. And she needs to do a lot more work on pronunciation anyway. Next!

    You forgot one of the standouts (for me, anyway) — beautiful black girl with a mohawk thing with a great raspy voice. Hope she stays in there.

    Yes, Idol’s desperate for a female winner. But they’re going to end up with a cute(ish) male country singer strumming a guitar anyway. Give it up, Idol! Amurrica knows what it wants!

  3. 3
    OhYeahMeToo
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    I am not an Idol watcher and just thought I would read the recap from the posted photo… I DO love a train wreck. I have not finished the recap but have already laughed hysterically ( and to the point of personal embarrassment ) over MiniPoor, NakieDance, and CPS….I think I love you !

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 12:58 am

    The comments in the latest Idol recap are broken? So we don’t get to bitch about what a fucking waste of time the last episode was? Why does this show insist on NOT showing us most of the singers who might eventually have a shot at the competition? Since it’s a singing show after all. Stupid stupid show.

    Idol’s format sucks. Why do they waste 5 weeks on those ridiculous auditions, most of which consist of allowing people to make fools of themselves in front of the camera? Things only get interesting with Hollywood Week, but then they don’t even bother to show 1/10 of the competitors.

    And they’ll end up picking the most boring of the bunch for the live shows. And the first finger-at-the-sky-pointin’ country singer will win anyway.

    Here’s hoping people get behind that trainwreck who played the drums this week. What’s her name? Shoanette? What a fucking joke she was. Guess they couldn’t keep TWO freaks though.

  5. 5
    NouveauPoor
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    Ha ha @itchy it’s ZOANette. ?!? I haven’t seen Idol since I was conned into taking my then-husband’s 14yo daughter to see the Season 2 tour. I’m poised to take over recapping duties once the four-month-long auditions are finally over so this was a good assignment to catch up a little bit. Wonder why the comments are broken?

    Shim is actually straight from the mouth of that now 22-year-old ex-stepdaughter. She’s pretty great. :-)

    I can’t believe I missed someone! I hope Mohawk made it to the semis!

    @OYMT – oh thank you so much!!! I’m new around here and I really do appreciate the love. :-) . I’d write more now but I’m furiously cleaning the house in case someone finally takes “I’M SCARED OF THR NAKIE DANCE!” the wrong way and CPS shows up…

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I think Mohawk girl had the best voice of the bunch AND she was beautiful. But obviously the producers have already decided which girls they’re pimping for the win, and she’s not one of them. Shame.

    I’m sticking with Shoanette. It’s Shit-ona-nette. Because that woman is just tragic. Idol is really really sinking low there.

  7. 7
    Delisha
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Kez Ban, well she is on her own level. I’m not implying that she is not talented I just think that she has thing where she just has to do her own thing. From what I saw in a clip in my office, it’s pretty hit and miss. Anyone who watched her first audition knows that she was great and by the time it came down to her solo she completely missed the mark. I think she just lost everyone with where she wanted the song to go.

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