American Idol S12-E9 Recap: Lyrics Schmyricks…The Ladies Take On Hollywood

Recaps

By NouveauPoor | Sunday, February 17, 2013 | 12:32 am | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: American Idol, Recaps

The Swagettes, comprising Kamaria Ousley, 29, Melinda Ademi, 19, Candice Glover, 23, and Denise Jackson, 21, went to bed first and avoided drama as much as possible.

The Swagettes: Denise, Candice, Kamaria and Melinda

While I was prepared for a horrific performance after their admission of lost rehearsal time, they actually do a great job with Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops)” and all four of them make it to the next round. Mariah sends them off with a “swag on!” followed by a little “wow I’m so funny” laugh. It’s really almost better when she just doesn’t speak.

Mariah thinks she’s hilarious.  Keith?  Not so much.

After a commercial, Raisin’ Cain comes out with ever’ne wearin’ cowboy boots. They knock The Dixie Chicks’ “Sin Wagon” out of the park and all make it through to the next round.

Raisin’ Cain is made up of #idolcountrygirls Lauren Mink, 26, Morgan Leigh Boberg, 19, Brandy Hotard, 26, and some other girl that was good enough to make it through but not good enough to specifically point out so I’m not optimistic about her chances during solos.

Raisin’ Cain: Morgan, Lauren, Brandy, and Girl Whose 15 Minutes Are Pretty Much Up

The next group performs the first of too many renditions of Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know.” Before we get into their bastardization of the whole concept of “singing,” you should know that I love this song, and I love the video even more. My three-year-old daughter, however, is inexplicably terrified by the video and since seeing it has deemed the song “The Nakie Dance.”

“The Nakie Dance”

(She’s also irrationally terrified of Jack Black, which is hysterical and extremely odd, but seeing pics like this…

 …I’m starting to kind of get it.)

I watched this episode multiple times for recapping purposes, and since so many groups were singing “The Nakie Dance,” MiniPoor has really been on edge for the past few days. Every time she hears the song she totally freaks out and has even begun telling my parents and friends “I’M SCARED OF THE NAKIE DANCE!!!” which clearly makes little sense and likely makes me look pretty suspect as a parent. But for you, Gasmii, I will gladly risk a visit by Child Protective Services to bring you…

Just a complete debacle of a performance. The quartet, Almost Famous, is made up of Savannah Votion, 24, Lizz Weiss, 23, Daysia Hall, 21, and J’Leigh Chauvin, 17. They complained that the song has no harmonies, but that’s completely ridiculous. The harmonies are already on the track – it’s not even like they had to make up harmonizing parts on their own. Their choreography is TERRIBLE and they’re not even doing the poorly selected steps in unison.

Almost Famous (for choking in the Group Round): J’Leigh, Savannah, Daysia and Lizz

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NouveauPoor

Shrunk right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former full-time patent attorney in her third year of severe underemployment.  Following a tough decision to stop paying for cable, she found solace in TVgasm recaps and is thrilled to become a part of such a talented team of snark.  She is currently living in Las Vegas with her three-year-old daughter.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Considerthis
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 7:48 am

    I thought American Idol was going to be discreet and sneaky in it’s agenda to have a female winner – guess not.

    What will they do if a Transgender wins?

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 9:52 am

    “Shim” is great. I’m pretty sure that’s going to become more and more necessary in this oh-so-progressive times. But that Kezblah really annoyed the fuck out of me. She’s probably pretty decent doing her thing, which is the opposite of the Idol karoake concept. Makes you wonder what the hell she’s doing there? I’m guessing some producer paid her to show up.

    Morgan Leigh Boberg describes herself as an ‘unconditional lover.’ so. Yes! She’s got my vote already.

    Shira had a hit record in Israel, which explains the ‘tude. Don’t know why she’s allowed on Idol though. And she needs to do a lot more work on pronunciation anyway. Next!

    You forgot one of the standouts (for me, anyway) — beautiful black girl with a mohawk thing with a great raspy voice. Hope she stays in there.

    Yes, Idol’s desperate for a female winner. But they’re going to end up with a cute(ish) male country singer strumming a guitar anyway. Give it up, Idol! Amurrica knows what it wants!

  3. 3
    OhYeahMeToo
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    I am not an Idol watcher and just thought I would read the recap from the posted photo… I DO love a train wreck. I have not finished the recap but have already laughed hysterically ( and to the point of personal embarrassment ) over MiniPoor, NakieDance, and CPS….I think I love you !

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 12:58 am

    The comments in the latest Idol recap are broken? So we don’t get to bitch about what a fucking waste of time the last episode was? Why does this show insist on NOT showing us most of the singers who might eventually have a shot at the competition? Since it’s a singing show after all. Stupid stupid show.

    Idol’s format sucks. Why do they waste 5 weeks on those ridiculous auditions, most of which consist of allowing people to make fools of themselves in front of the camera? Things only get interesting with Hollywood Week, but then they don’t even bother to show 1/10 of the competitors.

    And they’ll end up picking the most boring of the bunch for the live shows. And the first finger-at-the-sky-pointin’ country singer will win anyway.

    Here’s hoping people get behind that trainwreck who played the drums this week. What’s her name? Shoanette? What a fucking joke she was. Guess they couldn’t keep TWO freaks though.

  5. 5
    NouveauPoor
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    Ha ha @itchy it’s ZOANette. ?!? I haven’t seen Idol since I was conned into taking my then-husband’s 14yo daughter to see the Season 2 tour. I’m poised to take over recapping duties once the four-month-long auditions are finally over so this was a good assignment to catch up a little bit. Wonder why the comments are broken?

    Shim is actually straight from the mouth of that now 22-year-old ex-stepdaughter. She’s pretty great. :-)

    I can’t believe I missed someone! I hope Mohawk made it to the semis!

    @OYMT – oh thank you so much!!! I’m new around here and I really do appreciate the love. :-) . I’d write more now but I’m furiously cleaning the house in case someone finally takes “I’M SCARED OF THR NAKIE DANCE!” the wrong way and CPS shows up…

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I think Mohawk girl had the best voice of the bunch AND she was beautiful. But obviously the producers have already decided which girls they’re pimping for the win, and she’s not one of them. Shame.

    I’m sticking with Shoanette. It’s Shit-ona-nette. Because that woman is just tragic. Idol is really really sinking low there.

  7. 7
    Delisha
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Kez Ban, well she is on her own level. I’m not implying that she is not talented I just think that she has thing where she just has to do her own thing. From what I saw in a clip in my office, it’s pretty hit and miss. Anyone who watched her first audition knows that she was great and by the time it came down to her solo she completely missed the mark. I think she just lost everyone with where she wanted the song to go.

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