American Idol S12-E9 Recap: Lyrics Schmyricks…The Ladies Take On Hollywood

Recaps

By NouveauPoor | Sunday, February 17, 2013 | 12:32 am | 7 Comments
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Posted in: American Idol, Recaps

They are just butchering the words. Butchering I say! I’m pretty sure Daysia didn’t sing one correct word the entire time she was in the spotlight.

Can I mumble hum my way on into the next round please?

One of the girls foreshadowingly says “I’ve bonded with my sisters and we have each other’s back no matter what.” But things changed on a dime when, after conferring, the judges let the girls know that they weren’t cohesive and it was all around pretty bad, and only MumbleHummy Daysia will be moving on.

The other three girls instantly turn on Daysia, crying foul. The one who “put the harmonies together” – you know, the harmonies that sucked – says she should go through since she’s the only one who knew how to find the harmonies and Daysia couldn’t even be bothered to learn the words. She’s so upset she finally says to the cameraman tailing her “thank you so much for having me on your show, but I’m ready to go.” Good riddance you fickle, untalented poor sport.

After a commercial, we’re back with The Dramatics, consisting of Janel Stinney, 19, Cristabel Clack, 29, Kriss Mincey, 22, and someone else they don’t bother to name. Good luck tomorrow, Red!

The Dramatics: “Red,” Cristabel, Janel and Kriss

Janel is the odd duck of the group, though not nearly as wacky as Kez.  Or even Zoanette. Apparently their rehearsals started out really great and we see the ladies laughing at high-fiving at 9pm.

But by 4am Janel is freaking out, and in the morning after a couple of hours of sleep, they can’t find her anywhere. When they finally do track her down, she’s way more interested in saying hi to other contestants and being in her old little world than rehearsing.

The Dramatics sing The Band Perry’s “If I Die Young” and to be honest, I didn’t think they were very good. Nikki disagrees with me though, giving them a standing ovation and saying “I enjoyed you guys messing up the words more than I have enjoyed any other performance today.”

Keith says he had nearly the complete opposite reaction, but despite his and my protests, all four of them are through to the next round, but not before Janel has a complete emotional breakdown on stage.  I suppose emotional stability never was a requirement for superstardom, but it still just seems like such a weird thing to do at an interview.

Next we see a failure montage, with one group so bad Nikki laughs through their performance. Three ladies were the only ones from their respective groups to make it through:

Shuba Vedula, 17, from my home state of Michigan.  Go Michigander!

Serina-Joi Crowe, also 17

Aubrey Cleland, 19

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NouveauPoor

Shrunk right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former full-time patent attorney in her third year of severe underemployment.  Following a tough decision to stop paying for cable, she found solace in TVgasm recaps and is thrilled to become a part of such a talented team of snark.  She is currently living in Las Vegas with her three-year-old daughter.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Considerthis
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 7:48 am

    I thought American Idol was going to be discreet and sneaky in it’s agenda to have a female winner – guess not.

    What will they do if a Transgender wins?

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 9:52 am

    “Shim” is great. I’m pretty sure that’s going to become more and more necessary in this oh-so-progressive times. But that Kezblah really annoyed the fuck out of me. She’s probably pretty decent doing her thing, which is the opposite of the Idol karoake concept. Makes you wonder what the hell she’s doing there? I’m guessing some producer paid her to show up.

    Morgan Leigh Boberg describes herself as an ‘unconditional lover.’ so. Yes! She’s got my vote already.

    Shira had a hit record in Israel, which explains the ‘tude. Don’t know why she’s allowed on Idol though. And she needs to do a lot more work on pronunciation anyway. Next!

    You forgot one of the standouts (for me, anyway) — beautiful black girl with a mohawk thing with a great raspy voice. Hope she stays in there.

    Yes, Idol’s desperate for a female winner. But they’re going to end up with a cute(ish) male country singer strumming a guitar anyway. Give it up, Idol! Amurrica knows what it wants!

  3. 3
    OhYeahMeToo
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    I am not an Idol watcher and just thought I would read the recap from the posted photo… I DO love a train wreck. I have not finished the recap but have already laughed hysterically ( and to the point of personal embarrassment ) over MiniPoor, NakieDance, and CPS….I think I love you !

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 12:58 am

    The comments in the latest Idol recap are broken? So we don’t get to bitch about what a fucking waste of time the last episode was? Why does this show insist on NOT showing us most of the singers who might eventually have a shot at the competition? Since it’s a singing show after all. Stupid stupid show.

    Idol’s format sucks. Why do they waste 5 weeks on those ridiculous auditions, most of which consist of allowing people to make fools of themselves in front of the camera? Things only get interesting with Hollywood Week, but then they don’t even bother to show 1/10 of the competitors.

    And they’ll end up picking the most boring of the bunch for the live shows. And the first finger-at-the-sky-pointin’ country singer will win anyway.

    Here’s hoping people get behind that trainwreck who played the drums this week. What’s her name? Shoanette? What a fucking joke she was. Guess they couldn’t keep TWO freaks though.

  5. 5
    NouveauPoor
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    Ha ha @itchy it’s ZOANette. ?!? I haven’t seen Idol since I was conned into taking my then-husband’s 14yo daughter to see the Season 2 tour. I’m poised to take over recapping duties once the four-month-long auditions are finally over so this was a good assignment to catch up a little bit. Wonder why the comments are broken?

    Shim is actually straight from the mouth of that now 22-year-old ex-stepdaughter. She’s pretty great. :-)

    I can’t believe I missed someone! I hope Mohawk made it to the semis!

    @OYMT – oh thank you so much!!! I’m new around here and I really do appreciate the love. :-) . I’d write more now but I’m furiously cleaning the house in case someone finally takes “I’M SCARED OF THR NAKIE DANCE!” the wrong way and CPS shows up…

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I think Mohawk girl had the best voice of the bunch AND she was beautiful. But obviously the producers have already decided which girls they’re pimping for the win, and she’s not one of them. Shame.

    I’m sticking with Shoanette. It’s Shit-ona-nette. Because that woman is just tragic. Idol is really really sinking low there.

  7. 7
    Delisha
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Kez Ban, well she is on her own level. I’m not implying that she is not talented I just think that she has thing where she just has to do her own thing. From what I saw in a clip in my office, it’s pretty hit and miss. Anyone who watched her first audition knows that she was great and by the time it came down to her solo she completely missed the mark. I think she just lost everyone with where she wanted the song to go.

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