The next group we see is Urban Hue: Tenna Torres, 28, Kiara Lanter, 21, Seretha Guinn, 26, and some Asian girl.
Urban Hue: Random Asian girl, Tenna, Seretha and Kiara
Seretha brought her daughter into her audition in Charlotte, which I really thought was a huge no-no as far as interviews go. The ladies give Estelle’s “American Boy” a try, and they’re not good.
When they’re done, Keith says “Is it finished?” with Nikki shooting back “I hope so.” Then she tells the ladies “That was so painful. What was that?” Nikki says that Tenna is the only one that gave a decent performance, but they still send through everyone except Seretha, admonishing them all to step it up big time.
Hey look who decided to show up for work!
Why do I always have to sit by Mariah?
Man, I had a No Moonlighting clause in my last employment contract; I really don’t get why Randy can just go off and do other things instead of taking a Ford to the auditorium so he can sit in front of a Coke glass and listen to karaoke.
Zoanette’s group, The Poohsnaps, is up next. In addition to our self-deemed “overpassionate” Zoanette, we have Erin Christine, 26, Lauren Bettes, 20, and the one-named ISABELLE.
The Poohsnaps: Zoanette, Lauren, Erin and Isabelle.
Erin lists her career as “Wedding Singer” and I’m wondering if a wedding singer on Idol is akin to a cruise ship culinary specialist on Top Chef. Zoanette has made an interesting costume selection, choosing a tank top and short shorts when her body would be best suited covered in more fabric. Her thighs look ready to act like Carrie Underwood’s Grammy dress/light show screen.
Put those away!
It’s not even like she’s that big; she’s just really poorly dressed for her body type. At any rate, the girls sing “Knock On Wood” and Zoanette, Erin and ISABELLE make it through, while Lauren is sent packing.
The next group includes music teacher Liz Bills, 27, and three ladies who hate her, Shira Gavrielov, 23, Alisha Dixon, 23, and Courtney Calle, 16. Liz hasn’t been a very good team player, eventually abandoning her group to go get some sleep.
It’s another “Nakie Dance” and they’re also awful. Half-shaved head Alisha is the worst. No wait, it’s actually Tuxedo Chick Shira. She’s horrible. They totally don’t know the song, and even if they did they’re just plain bad at singing.
The Group With No Name: Shira, Liz, Courtney and Alisha
What are they even doing in that picture? After it’s over, the judges deliberate and decide to only take through…Liz! Ha! The other three girls are shocked. Shira even comes back on stage to ask the judges for an explanation, and it’s as uncomfortable as it usually is when someone thinks they’re really good at something when they actually kind of stink.
I don’t get it. I’m an awesome singer. Why didn’t you pick me?