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This guy has so much talent but he wastes it in favor of what HE believes his “talent” is. Hey, P.P., just sing the song. You have a great voice … don’t “make it your own”. And since we’re discussing your over-wrought performance choices, don’t hold the guitar like you’re Dave Matthews’s bastard kid.
Phil Assessment Song 1
J-Lo: Why did you fuck with the song? [Your performance] was great.
Steven: Write your own songs. Then no one will know how badly you fuck a song up. Plug my upcoming album.
Randy: You are in the Zone.
Filler … Seacrest asks each judge who won Round One so all the contestants have time to change for Round Two. I wonder what Tweecrest is thinking about during the non-lively banter …
More filler … Joshua’s homecoming visit was memorable because he sold out the local arena, which was filled with both people he knew AND people he didn’t know.
The good people of Louisiana are also interested in classing up the judges’ outfits.
Package on Joshua’s trip home. He’s charming, especially when he talks about feeling safe with the police escort.
We see Joshua’s church, which is small and pathetic, with a ramshackle exterior and even worse inside (it’s like a before picture on Extreme Makeover Holy Edition), but it’s full of love and crazy people.
I don’t think people drive cars in Westlake, Louisiana. They prefer parade floats.
Back to L.A., where Josh is singing Imagine. Color me surprised. Eeewww … I don’t like the musical arrangement, the performance, or the fedora-wearing piano player. This all screams “CRUISE SHIP!” Granted it’s Princess Cruises and not Carnival, but still …
Joshua Assessment Song 2
Steven: You are so fine.
J-Lo: (reads from her notes) You sing, you preach, you perform, you good.
Randy: What J-Lo said … word
Let’s go home with Jessica to San Diego, shall we?
Cry, cry, never thought I’d make it this far …
Oh, snap, she’s only half Filipino. Her dad’s Hispanic. So she’s Filipanic? Hispino? Filitina?
Oh, you don’t know the half of it, Hee Jun. She’s trying to steal the military vote, with a nod to her dad, who’s in the Naval RESERVES and has “spent time overseas”. Doesn’t count, bitch! (I say this ’cause I can, don’t worry). Guess what she’s singing? I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing.