American Idol: Top Three Performance

Recaps

By ApplePie | Friday, May 18, 2012 | 9:14 am | 11 Comments
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Posted in: American Idol, Recaps

Jessica Assessment Song 2

Steven:  Beautiful!  (What could he say?  She painted him into a corner.)

J-Lo:  Amazing!

Randy:  I was bored in the beginning but you pulled it out in the end (finally, he makes sense).

Phillip Phillips pulls out all the humble pothead charm he can muster as we watch his hometown video package.  Leesville doesn’t look like a very exciting place.  But when we see Phil’s dad, I see that I’m very, very wrong about the excitement factor.

It’s so exciting around here that I need protection …

just in case those trampy wild turkeys come ‘round, chasin’ after my son

The relationship between Phil Sr. and Phil Jr. is heartwarming and his video diary also makes me want to vote for him … until I hear him sing.  First, it’s a song that I haven’t heard before: Disease by Matchbox Twenty.  Then, there’s this:

Just what American Idol needed to re-invigorate the ratings slump!  A tenor sax!

Phillip Phillips can never be accused of vote-grubbing.

Phillip Assessment Song 2

J-Lo:  (refers to notes)  That sucked.

Not as hard as I suck (right, Casper?), but it was still bad.

Steven:  Ditto.

Randy:  I didn’t like it for a completely different reason that’s exactly the same reason the other two didn’t like it.

Don’t worry, kind voters.  I still have the Forehead Vein of Power.  I shall triumph!

To push the matter, Ryan reminds us that PP Sr. will shoot us if we don’t vote for his son.

Time for Round 3!!!

Jimmy decided Joshua Ledet should stop hiding who he is behind the church choir and sing some Mary J.

And apparently, Miss LeDay should sing No More Drama with some shoulder sparkle.

Also, who needs a church choir? 

I got me a Rainbow Coalition Backup Trio.

Methinks someone with a fog machine and a light show is missing the point of this song.

Joshua Assessment Song 3

Randy:  You got pipes and you got drama.

J-Lo:  You are magically delicious.

Steven:  Over the top, in a good way.

Jimmy I tells a long, boring story about how he chose I’ll Be There for Jessica, which caps off a long, boring intro that advertised, in quick succession, AT&T phones and a beats by Dr. Dre wireless speaker where Jessica got to hear Michael Jackson sing the song.  

She sings.

Jessica Assessment Song 3

Steven:  Over the top, in a good way.  Did I say that before?

J-Lo:  Good job, baby.

Randy:  It was okay.  It needed a moment moment moment.

Back from break, AT&T/beats ad (do the AI kids get to keep the phone and speaker?) during which we find out Phillip will sing We’ve Got Tonight by Bob Seger.  Please don’t screw this up, weirdo.  I love this song.

He left the guitar backstage.  Yay!

The orchestral/piano backup is nice, and he’s not doing too many weird things vocally with this wonderful, wonderful song.  But then he does this …

Yep, still constipated.

It’s my favorite performance of the night, but I’m not voting. I’m abstaining in protest of American Idol still being on the air.

Phillip Assessment Song 3

Randy:  Perfect song at the perfect time … your best performance.

J-Lo:  There are 20 million girls who wish you were singing that song to them. [Ummmm, no … most girls still want to marry Prince Charming, not have a one-night stand with someone who has nothing better to do, J-Ho, but I guess lyric research is beyond the scope of your contract.]

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11 Comments

  1. 1
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I believe that would be Hot Saxophone Chick you’re referring to there. She’s famous, you know. For being, well, hot.

    Speaking of which, has anyone ever noticed that any time they bring out string instruments, and anytime they bring out any women playing an instrument, they’re always awesomely beautiful (not the instruments, the women)? And yet, my memories of our high school band had none of that.

  2. 2
    NatPatBen NatPatBen
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    I guess I’m super out of touch with music these days. I’ve never heard any of the songs PP sang nor the first song Joshua sang. I did enjoy PP’s last song.

    Jessica singing My All made me realize how difficult that song is and how talented Mariah is (was?).

    I wonder if his stage personality (when not singing) is Joshua’s real personality.

  3. 3
    melange
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    It’s hard to watch Philip try to sing straight – he looks like he’s having a very hard time keeping the pitch. Well, he doesn’t, actually. Maybe that’s why it is a struggle. Hell, maybe that’s why he does the whole weird Philip thing, as a work-around to his pitch issues.

    Jessica also completely barfed the ending of “I don’t want to miss a thing” – the (very long) second to last note was way way off, but the judges thought it was the best part! The Mariah song was just awful. Pathetic, but that’s J-Lo’s fault really. Mariah, like Whitney, just made everything sound easy, and J-Lo isn’t talented enough to know the difference. Sigh, can we get an actual, trained singer for a female judge?

    I think Philip will take his place as White Boy winner #5 next week, despite the tone-deafness.
    I’m still sad Holly’s gone, and no recap of the ep either :(

  4. 4
    ApplePie
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    @Melange, we’ll see if we can take care of that for you … Holly deserves a proper send-off with a recap. @NatPatBen, I highly recommend Bob Seger’s Greatest Hits. I can almost guarantee you you’ll find one song on that album that you like, or at least recognize from a Chevy commercial.
    @itchy, you’re right. Female musicians don’t get enough credit for their talent nor their general hotness … and they have to come from somewhere, although the band geeks in my high school were not hot like that either. Perhaps these ladies are late bloomers. Sheila E is still going strong.

  5. 5
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Was that Randy or Flava Flav???????

    I agree that PP last song was awesome– I am a big Bob Seger fan and was glad he did the song justice b/c I am not a Phil fan

  6. 6
    leslilly
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Before I read this recap, I have to ask two things:

    1) Is Steven Tyler able to NOT say “completely over-the-top”?

    2) And, when did “over-the-top” become a compliment?

  7. 7
    ApplePie
    Posted May 18, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    @leslilly, Over-The-Top IS Steven’s favorite sexual position, so it’s always a compliment coming from him :0)

  8. 8
    leslilly
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Apple Pie, heehee – love it! I don’t want to imagine him in the over-the-top position though. Has anyone seen Steven Tyler’s stupid Burger King (I think?) commercial? AI needs to overhaul the judge’s table big time. Don’t get me wrong – I love Aerosmith, especially their old stuff – but Steven Tyler spaces out half the time. I think he’s listening to the voices in his head and they’re saying OVER THE TOP! OVER THE TOP!

    Itchy, back in the day, I was a cute first chair violinist in the orchestra, so they do exist in the schools :) . But yeah, you’re right – they probably pick only the thin pretties to grace the stage for television. Which actually kinda sucks when you think about it..even the male musicians tend to be cookie-cutter attractive. Oh, that reminds me of the cute guy playing the fiddle when Skylar sang twice (a few weeks back). He was superb. I wonder who the hell he is and if he has any music out.

    Oh, different show, but the “musicians” on The Voice cracked me up. They basically stuck a bunch of models on stilts, etc. behind the singers and put violins and guitars in their hands. They tried to look hot as they attempted to fake play. I’m not talking about the real band; just the peeps nearest the singers. At least with AI, the musicians on the stage are really playing.

    I really like PP; I have to admit it. I don’t like some of the faces he makes or the straining. He sounds better when he just sings. But he’s new and he’s working it out. A couple weeks ago, he did a poor job on Time of the Season. Girls and women are definitely carrying him – he didn’t even wind up in the bottom two that week. I really am tired of the white boys winning (hated Scotty McCreepy last year), but I think Phillip deserves it this time because he’s different & interesting. I would like to see a girl win soon – but not Jessica. I was hoping for Joshua and Phillip to be the final two.

    Excuse my babbling – I’m over-the-top!

  9. 9
    leslilly
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    NatPatBen: agreed – I didn’t know all the songs either (of course, they tweak them sometimes to be unrecognizable), so you’re not alone. We’ll be out of touch together :)

    Melange – oh man, agreed 100%. Jessica sounded horrific at the end of the Mariah song. I have a theory. This set of AI judges mainly spouts out compliments at this stage of the game regardless of reality. I know they doled out some “meh” statements, but overall, they seem to gush when it gets to the final 3. If they tell the truth, what does that say about their talent-searching skills?

  10. 10
    leslilly
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Geez, I can’t stop. I also meant to say that I miss Hollie as well.

  11. 11
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Phil-phil ought to realize that winning idol will be the death of any hope he might have had to be taken seriously as a musician.

    And his blah-bland-growly type of singing was already old in the 90s, I just don’t see him having that much impact as a pop artist.

    So, yeah, I’m hoping he’ll win. The Sanchez girl, on the other hand, might have a chance at a career. She’s got a lot to learn, of course, but with the right handlers (and video director) she’ll go far.

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