America’s Next Top Model Recap – Let’s all Cheer for Sleeping with Your Enemy

Recaps

By Luscious | Monday, September 24, 2012 | 4:27 pm | 31 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: America's Next Top Model, Recaps

Tyra tells the girls that as a warmup, they will now have to walk the runway portraying Alicia Keys songs … say what? Okay, so maybe they’re going to play Alicia’s songs while the girls strut their stuff, right? That would be kind of fun.

But, sadly, no.

This season can’t afford the royalties on Alicia’s songs, so the girls had better be familiar with her music as they are told to emulate Alicia’s song Superwoman. Now that’s a gorgeous song, but how are the girls supposed to walk to a slow and emotional ballad. Or maybe they are just supposed to appear as superwomen.  I’m not sure – it seems pointless and stupid. A shock on a show like this, I know.

As the girls walk, they get almost no instruction, except for poor Leila. She’s got this bizarre clompy high step walk and no arm movements whatsoever.


Leila, lord of the dance.

There are still hard feelings on Leila’s part that her attempts to be BFF with Laura were met by Laura choosing Kristin over her. She tells us that she’s decided she won’t have “as strong a friendship” as she originally wanted, because in the end it will probably be a competition that is narrowed down to them and it would be better not to be so close when they vie for the title.

 

And so ends Leila’s girl crush.

Brittnay has to walk to My Boo. Allyssa and Nastasia have to walk to Empire State of Mind. How does one do this on a runway? To me it looks like the girls are just doing their usual walk with Tyra yelling “Yes! Work! She’s got it!”

Nastasia’s hair fluff somehow says New York.

After this pointless exercise, Tyra explains that the charity event will be that night and the girls are in charge of everything. They will be entirely responsible for their own hair, their make-up and their styling.

Meet the girls of America’s Next Top Face Off Project Runway Model

As the reigning occupant of the Tyra Suite, Laura is apparently the “president” of the house. Tyra explains this means it will be her job to assign tasks to everyone and organize the girls for the show. Tyra tells the girls that the outfits they will be wearing will be bid on and whoever gets the highest bid will be the winner of the challenge. Alicia tells them that whoever wins will also be invited to be her guest, along with a friend, at one of her shows for her new upcoming album, Girl On Fire.

So the girls arrive at the run down theater that will host the show and Kelly Cutrone and Johnny Wujek are waiting for them. Kelly asks Laura what the concept is that they have come up with. She doesn’t seem as vicious as usual, but she isn’t letting Laura off the hook either. When she doesn’t like Laura’s idea that everyone’s hair will emulate fire in a different way depending on their outfit, Kelly tells her they need to have continutiy. Then Kelly asks Laura if she knows what continuity means.

Too bad we’re not friends, Laura. I know the definition.

If you bitches embarrass my designer, I will kill you.

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Luscious
About

Luscious just got back from a one year backpacking trip around the world with her husband (TVgasm fill-in specialist, The Professor). She spends her days writing, knitting and sewing. She's only good at one of those hobbies, not saying which.  Her secret dream is to write romance novels and have critics say her brilliance is wasted on such a pointless genre. Also, she'd like to create a pair of pajamas for her niece where the sleeves actually work.

31 Comments

  1. 1
    juddfan
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    I appreciate the effort you’re putting into all the pictures. I was also shocked at bottom two. And shocked at the eliminated . . . I guess you must be right about the edit, Luscious . . . sniff . . .

    Laura looks like a monster with that hair and eyebrows. I don’t see her being top two in any world, but then, I didn’t think Leila would go either.

    This is really frustrating watching the lack of care on the show . . . I know they will never be top models, but they don’t even pretend anymore. Sucks for them.

    I thought Jonte looked like a little grace jones alien princess in that one pic from behind. I don’t know how I feel about the outrageous outfits on the men here . . . part of me loves it, but part of me sees trying way too hard. At any rate, I guess it’s progress . . . or continuing in Mrs. J’s footsteps . . . sadly, Mrs. J never looked very fierce . . . as much as I still loved huh!

    This was an awful challenge. Terrible. And you are so right that Tyra and her stupid picture had nothing to do with what they were tasked with. And CHEAP!!! was it their own outfits they gave to the highest bidder . . . WTF!!! I realize, for charity, you don’t want a lot of expense going in, but you can’t tell me Alicia doesn’t have cards for many many designers who might have sponsored the show. And doesn’t any of them know make-up people who would also help.

    Lastly, if I was having a charity event, and Tyra screamed, “Swing your arms” at one of the models, I’d have given her a swift kick!

  2. 2
    Luke
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    is it bad that I kind of want Kristen to win? If these girl’s want to be models, they should start learning right away that their personality counts for shit.

    I think Victoria might be my favourite, despite her mommy issues I think she seems the most level-headed.

  3. 3
    bubblesballentine
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    Laura, you clueless princess, there is no ‘supportive friend’ category in Kristin’s world. She’s gonna have your vacuous ass for lunch.

    Oh, and the obligatory-with-this-show:

    Shut up and go away, BryanBoy!

  4. 4
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    I think that girl was talking about Allyssa’s left arm in the photo. All you can see is the pom pom.

    Top Chef showed snippets of their Redemption Kitchen. Why can’t Top Model show us the photos of the comeback girls photos at the end of the episode? I would have rather saw that the drama with Laura and Leila.

  5. 5
    Sammamish
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Thanks for getting the recap up so quickly :)
    As usual, it was awesome.

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Now we can finally say the name, spoiler-free: LEILA!!!!! WTF?! I can’t say that I think she’ll definitely win, but she should be final 3, fo sho. And I totally agree, Luscious — Tyra’s staging her to be the return girl and IF she wins, it’ll be a great story AND we’ll all be validated. Especially you, Luscious. But I guess it’s all up to the votes . . . I can see Jessie going back because she’s the quirky one and people seem to love her. I love her too, but Leila deserves to be there. Any other season and she would have been called at least 3rd-to-last.

    Also, even though this season sucks on toast, and even though deservedly loathed BryanBoy (“StopTryin’Boy?” I’m trying to think of a catchy bitchy nickname for him) hosts it, it’s pretty interesting to see the kicked-off girls’ reactions to who is eliminated. All the girls these week were like, “NOOOO, WHAT?!?! I thought you would win!!! You’re the most high fashion!!” I’m sure Leila will rock it in her photos.

    Also, back to my earlier question from a few recaps ago — do ALL the girls get to go overseas? Or at a certain point will they stop the comeback photos and have the winner of the fan vote return? I can’t see the fan fave returning just for the final episode, and the one right before they go overseas would be a great time to re-introduce her.

    Again, even though this cycle SUCKS, the eliminated girls have an advantage over the eliminated girls of past cycles — they’ll have way more photographs for their portfolio if they really want to get into modeling.

    It’s disappointing not to see the judges deliberate. This “1-10″ stuff is whack, yo.

    Oh, did I mention that this cycle sucks? Because it does.

  7. 7
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    2nd paragraph — should have included that the “comeback” webisodes are on the CW website and are about 3-4 minutes long, each. I suggest them.

  8. 8
    Stacey
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 12:06 am

    Brianboy…his name says it all. And @Sammamish, love your lake!

  9. 9
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 5:51 am

    I agree that the 1-10 thing is garbage. It’s actually way more effective to hear deliberation, because the numbers just expose how arbitrary and calculated (literally) these decisions are.
    And I still hate BryanBoy, but he redeemed himself a little bit in my eyes when he wept for Leila.
    At least he has good taste.

    What happened to Brittany was mad weird. I don’t understand what they wanted her to do and I think she understands either. Kelly tried to help, but then Rob jumped in and Kelly was like don’t listen to his ass and then she was like no wait he’s right….what? How is that going to help her?
    Brittany should have just kept that Disney shit to herself. She knows how Tyra latches on to things…look at what happened to Ebony last year with those damn pigtails. Now she’s going to get sent home for not staying true to her brand, even though there’s no way to actually pose “Disney” in a photo.

    Aaalllyyyyssa and Yvonne might be in some trouble too. Aallllyssssssaaaa because she always defaults to sexy and Yvonne because in the next episode, it looks like she was giving BryanBoy some tude.

    And poor Leila. Poor poor Leila. Unrequited love is so awkward.
    Laura is officially on my shit list. You could tell that she loved the idea of someone being obsessed with her, that’s why she kept talking about it. Whenever someone brought it up, she would have that stupid smirk on her face. I hate when self-centered people blame everyone else for calling them self-centered. Maybe they call you that because you ARE and you need to CHANGE.
    And she does look like a monster. Like an anorexic yeti.
    Speaking of which, she can sit all the way down with her “I’m representing healthy girls” speech. She’s just as skinny and ruler-shaped as most of the other girls in that house, so she needs to give it a rest. The only one besides Yvonne who is not mad skinny is Kiara and Aaaalllyyyssa.

    Those charity show outfits were hideous.
    Like a bag lady from the 60′s.
    Kelly didn’t need to worry about the girls embarrassing her designer…designer did a fine job of that all on her own by putting those clothes on national tv.
    Oooor maybe she donated them because she knew they were fug and would never sell.
    Well played, designer.

  10. 10
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Tyra was, like, wrong and shit about what a chignon is. It’s more like French variations on a “bun.” As long as the hair is pulled back and twisted so it isn’t falling loose it’s a chignon. No slicking back with gel and stuff required. You’d think the woman who loves to tell us she went to Paris at 17 to model would know that.

    And I’m on board with this being a fix to put Leila in the “redemption” round so Tyra can preen when the second chance girl wins. Because while her photo was mediocre, she didn’t look awful like Brittany since she at least got a good pose, she just had a sleepy eye, and yet Kelly somehow magically gave her such a low score that she couldn’t catch up? Even a 5 would have sent Brittany to Last Chance at Redemption Kitchen Island. That the judges were all aghast and shocked and Tyra couldn’t believe the scores she manipulated.

    Plus the whole “only a model in photographs” never bothered Tyra before since Allison has made the finale twice, Ann won and she didn’t swing her arms either, and Lauren was only moderately chastised for walking like a baby Lurch. I know, I’m ashamed that I know that much about ANTM, but this whole “the numbers don’t lie” lack of empathy while these girls just bawl in front of her is even grosser than I’ve come to expect from Tyra.

  11. 11
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Correction: That the judges were all aghast when Leila was eliminated was a load.

  12. 12
    msjacqmills
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Who is what’s her names actor parent? Just curious.

  13. 13
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Going further down my TV shame spiral, her father is John James AKA Jeff Colby from Dynasty and later Jeff Martin on All My Children.

    Now I’ll go ponder what exactly have I done with my life.

  14. 14
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Speaking as a middle-aged man for whom napping is a religion, I’d say that was a compliment.

    I have a question, since I live overseas. Do people really walk around talking about “the social media” the way these people are using it on the show? It just sounds kind of weird, like they just don’t want to give shoutouts to Faceplant and Shitter.

  15. 15
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    People call it “social media” when they’re talking about it as a whole and not one specific site.

  16. 16
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    So people really do walk around saying this? Like, “hmm, I wonder what’s happening on the social media today?” or, “Man, I got wasted last night and made an ass of myself on the social media”?

  17. 17
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Those are examples where people would most likely use a specific website. It would be more “There is no reason not to stay in touch with someone, with all the social media today.” Or “Social media is destroying our country.” So really broad and general. So not really used in daily conversation a lot.

  18. 18
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    So I guess on Top Model you could vote and submit videos on different sites. So there isn’t a specific site to say.

  19. 19
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    She should just say internet.
    Like “here’s what your fans on the internet are saying.”
    “Your internet scores are low.”
    “People on the internet really like you.”
    That’s more natural-sounding than social media.

    The only people who say “social media” are researchers, professors, news people, and employers. And hipsters who are trying to sound smart.

  20. 20
    ANTM Fan
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Does anyone know when and where all this “social media” $hit went down? I mean, who are these unattractive, popsicle-slurping fans, and how did they know where to go to judge these photos?

  21. 21
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    ANTM Fan voting took place over the summer. You could vote on CW’s site. There were links on facebook and stuff. Here’s a video Tyra did that was posted on ANTM’s fb page.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=00uybzCBbrA

  22. 22
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I’m assuming they’re all saying “social media” because they can’t mention Facebook, etc., by name. There probably wasn’t enough money in the budget to buy the rights to promote Facebook and other sites. Or buy chests-of-drawers. Or hire decent judges and creative directors. Or hire someone to slap BryanBoy repeatedly.

    . . . I want that job.

  23. 23
    Jahna
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    You can see the pictures of the eliminated girls (and the ones still going) at:

    http://www.cwtv.com/thecw/antmvoting

    It goes through week 11, so if you don’t want the spoilers, don’t go beyond week 5.

  24. 24
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    You ever get the feeling that Tyra wishes she was RuPaul?

  25. 25
    Adelefig
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    This is off topic but I wanted to ask if anyone else noticed Kenya (Keenya sp? from Naima’s season was on New Girl last night? She played a sister of one of the main characters and was a basketball player?? She looked good but I don’t remember her jaw being so protruding!

  26. 26
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    @Adelefig I saw that episode. I didn’t realize that was her.

  27. 27
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    “Meanwhile, Jonte’s horsing around goes very wrong as he accidentally impales himself.”

    BWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahagigglegigglesnorthahagigglesnort…aaahhhh. Good one. Back to reading.

  28. 28
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    For the love of all that’s holy (good reality TV) why the fuck does Sneering-Creepy-Fake-Sounding-Accent-Yes-We-KNOW-You-Are-A-Damn-Model-Too-Dude have to be in every single GD shoot with his mothe..uh..lov…um..BOSS?

  29. 29
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    @chaosbutterfly: Reading too many T & T recaps lately lol. Aaalllyyyyssa. Heh heh.Hey maybe some of those pageant girls with the wackadoodle names DO get to be real models…I mean look how AMAZINGLY well they’re doing no….oh, shit. There goes that theory!

    Hey does anyone know when they stopped giving each girl a specific amount of shots (and in some challenges – like last year) could earn more? Now you hear the girls talking about “Ooh how many frames did SHE get” and “Oh probably more than us because she sucks today”. I call shenanigans! Or just plain LOW RENT CHEAP SOBs. From Vogue and Covergirl to what sounds like a men’s magazine and some online makeup crapola.

    Sorry guys one more thing: That charity walk…were the girls wearing the donated designer clothes, because thats what I though. But they got judges on how much someone PAID for said garment? Totally unfair! Its not the girls’ fault if they given some shitty outfit. ANTM is so OVER. SIGH.

  30. 30
    Grimoire
    Posted September 26, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    This season is making the absence of Jay Manuel SOOOOOO evident. He would at least give the models some feedback that was beneficial. He designed shoots that made the girls look like models. This is the death knell for ANTM.

  31. 31
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    I am comment crazy this week. Oops. But RIGHT NOW Danielle and Joanie’s season, ERG CYCLE, is being played and dammit if almost every word out of Tyra and the gang’s mouths are about teaching, learning, improving. WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED?

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