Jo interviews that he took care of John and that he doesn’t want to discuss it. I’m getting really sick of all these reality stars doing stuff and then not wanting to talk about it. Really? You signed up for the show. It’s like when those dumb teen mom girls whine and complain about not having any privacy, yet they weren’t complaining when they were getting $50,000 checks per episode.
John sneaks out from the hut and goes on the run to Ohio. Say hi to Cathy for me! Moooooo. So now that John’s in Ohio he comes up with this brilliant plan to work for Merlin! Good lord almighty, I am so done. He calls up Esther in her puke green dress to tell her that he’s gone like the Flash. Now we see Merlin in his orange and blue shirts. Stacey, Clinton? Where are youuuuu!
We welcome you to FREE VIVI!
We haven’t seen Alan in a while, so let’s treat ourselves to a little interview with Levi talking about Alan. NEXT! Now, Merlin and John Boy are at some decrepit trailer in the middle of the woods that looks like it came straight out of West Virginia. They play chess for a bit and I hate chess. Back in Lancaster, Esther rolls up on her scooter to talk to Levi and he looks thrilled that she’s there. He wants to know where John is and she refuses to tell him. Her brother doesn’t work for you anymore, got that!
As if we didn’t get enough Esther within the first 10 minutes of this episode, she now has shown up with Jo to learn how to shoot guns. How pathetic. She’s that stereotypical giggling girl. They shoot some for while and Esther seems to have conveniently forgotten that the Amish aren’t supposed to have guns. Hey, but at least you’re wearing your head covering. After shooting guns for a while they sit down to talk and Esther tries to convince Jo to leave the Mafia.
You look ridiculous.
Back in Ohio, Merlin is explaining something to John and of course he doesn’t understand the whole point of the conversation. He never does. I hate them both.
Jo leaves and we shoot over to him wanting to talk to Levi and Alvin. Jo says he doneski with all of these shenanigans and hops into his sweet ass truck to drive away. SEE YA.
MOOOOO, Ohio again, blurred out faces and Merlin’s band Of Merry Losers come to initiate John. When I was in a sorority I was initiated, but we didn’t read out of the Bible. Nor did it take place in a field. Fun fact.
TIME FOR THE FAIR. Goody gum drops, it’s like I’m a kid again, except with tons of Amish scripted drama.
Esther rolls up to the fair with a blurred out friend. They walk up to a bull pen and decide to ride the mechanical bull. Esther is trying way to hard to be wild. Stop it.
TAKE MY PICTURE, I TOTES GOT TO TWEET THIS