We then move on to talking about Amish Crimes. That random attorney dude interviews again. There’s burglary abuse, and drugs. Ho hum, crazy stuff. Alan and Merlin interview about their times in jail. It’s kinda boring stuff. WHERE’S THE JUICE. BRING ME THE JUICE. Finally, we find out about Alan’s arrest. It seems that Levi called the police on him and planted stuff in his car. Of course, Levi denies this. Now, Alan is mad. Like super mad. Good job Levi, more enemies.
LOL, I just needed my screen time this episode.
New question: What about the hut parties and Green Corn Gate?
Well, we do not tolerate drugs in the Amish community. Both Merlin and Alan have done drugs and gone to jail for them. It’s said that it’s really easy to do drugs in the community because it’s all hush hush. Then Merlin says “why do people think that they’re aren’t any amish people who do drugs?” Uhhh, maybe because y’all act like you’re the best people ever. It’s a big no-no to go out without wearing a mother freakin’ hat, but it’s all hunky dory to do drugs. Hopping over to Alan, he reveals why he went down the wrong path. He says that when he was younger he was sexually abused by not one, but two men. That breaks my heart cause he seems like a nice guy. I don’t hate him like I do everyone else.
Let’s talk about gambling. Well it seems that while Alan was in jail, he was mad at these barn fights because they took money away from him. The producers ask Levi about the fights and he avoids the questions. Oh no, this IS turning into Breaking Amish reunion, Discovery style.
“Oh the barn fights? I can’t tell you. And my job? Can’t tell you that either. Wait, why are looking at my contract?”
Buggy races? Well lets talk about that. Everybody be mad over that stupid buggy race. Jo’s mad, John’s mad, Levi’s mad. It never ends. For some reason, they can’t believe that John would throw that race. REALLY? You just REALLY can’t believe that. They’ve gone on this whole season about how John and Esther want to be powerful, so everyone is shocked that John threw a race. John interviews that he and Alvin are not friends. Jolin feels betrayed by John and says that John is a Eff up. He messes up everything you touch. John is like Charlie Brown. I can just imagine Lucy going you mess everything up. Blockhead.
Remember when Esther and Jolin snuck off into that room and “turned their mics off”, which is code for had sex. Esther says they just talked. mhmmm. Jo says they just talked too. Mhmmm. All the boys say that Esther has some master plan in her mind and that she wants the power. I, for once, agree. John will do whatever his sister tells him to do because he’s a vajayjay. Alan, I think, says that Esther is selfish and controlling. It may have been Jo who said this. I’m doing this off of notes, so I may get a bit mixed up. Esther is still going on with the innocent act and then the producers ask Levi how he feels about Esther and other guys. Levi gets real mad and tells them to shut off the cameras that he doesn’t wan to talk about it.
“Levi is totes still in love with me”