Denial ain’t only a river in Egypt. I probably got that wrong. OH WELL.
HUZAH – Time for more Merlin craziness. He starts talking about the Shunning and it makes me think that that would be a great title for a M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong movie. He says that being shunned was horrible for him but in the end, God is on his side. Oh honey, God is probably the only person on your side. Not even your band of Merry Losers. Jo interviews that Merlin is crazy. Yes Jo, we all know that. BUT WAIT, I’m too busy hiding behind my computer screen. Merlin has big plans. BIG PLANS. Okay then. How specific.
Can you see me? I’m busy hiding.
There are some random voiceovers about this season and how crazy it was. In a NEVER BEFORE SHOWN SCENE, we see Jolin get mad at someone for not paying Levi and he goes and shoots his watermelons. I kid you not. I can’t believe I just had to write that sentence.
We’re also treated to another scene that actually pisses me off. Merlin gets mad at Levi for something and we see and beat up, but nice Ford Explorer. Then all of a sudden they start messing it up some more. Kicking it and breaking the windshield. I think this was Merlin’s car and Levi messed it up. Now, this makes me mad because they are just wasting a perfectly good car. My mom needs a new car and has done without for years (bless you momma) because she doesn’t want to spend money and go into debt. So why would a stupid show waste a car when there are plenty of people out there who need it. This may make no sense, but still I was mad.
Back to the interviews. A producer asks how Levi feels about his lost crew. He says that he’s fine. Right. Alan interviews that he’s working on projects and of course, can’t say what they are, but he’s in contact with Merlin. Hmmmm, I smell a new plot line for a new season. Producers ask Jo where he’s been and he says he’s been staying in his hunting cabin. In other news, he’s still mad. And obviously over Esther.
Great, we need to talk about Esther some more and we finally get to see the Merlin/Esther scene. Merlin talks about how Esther could be a good assest but she needs to be reprogrammed. EL OH EL. He says that she needs to be effed so hard she farts or something crude like that. What a scuzbag. Merlin also says that Esther likes her men. Duh. I’m telling you daddy issues. Back at John and Esther’s table, a producer tells Esther about this footage of her and Merlin. She tries to act all shocked, but she can’t even open her mouth to deny it. Cut to the crappy flip camera showing Esther canoodling with Merlin and being all flirty. Ew, why Merlin? Even Levi was a better choice. She is really desperate for attention.