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We then cut to a montage of introducing Merlin. He is crazy. Hey bro, where’s King Arthur? I’m tellin y’all I got jokes for days. Merlin, lets just say I think you look cold and need a little jacket. This jacket is really nice because the sleeves lock in the back! Merry Christmas!
Levi calls the gang in to talk about how they can clean up their image in the community. This where we’re introduced to PIMP MY BUGGY. I know, I know, I am excited as you are. John has to ruin my excitment by whining about money again. Suck it up John. I’m sorry your dad died, but there’s nothing you can do about it now. Just shut up. Later that day, John goes into a stall to call Merlin. He wants Merlin to win that Buggy contest so they can split the money. Really now? That is the dumbest idea in the world. Levi doesn’t like this guy and you think he’ll pick him as the winner? We all know that Levi doesn’t play fair.
GROAN. Esther’s back with Jo. They’re sneaking off to some house to “do something” The producers probably want us to think that they’re sexing it up but I bet they’re just playing a rousing game of “Guess what girl is a Slut” and “Tell Me I’m Pretty”
It’s the day of the Pimp My Buggy! It’s cute that Esther has on a new dress and is trying to be all flirty by asking Jo to teach her about cars. And by cute I mean I want to throw up. On her shoes, because I’m classy like that. John is all worried because he doesn’t know if they’ll win. Levi goes around to inspect the buggy’s and I can’t believe that people actually spent money on this. Of course, I also spend insane amounts of money on dance so to each his own. To. Each. His. Own.
HU-ZAH! MERLIN HAS ARRIVED. I really wish he rolled up with some bass and Push It by Salt N Peppa playing. One can only dream when you wish upon a star. OH. How awesome would it have been if he had Beyonce playing and did the Single Ladies dance. Sidenote: I wish I was Beyonce.
Merlin is having another crazy moment and starts talking about some little boys. Hello, my name is AshSmash. Why don’t you have a seat and tell us why there was a box of 50 Magnum condoms and a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice in your pockets? Nobody wants to be like you, Merlin.
As I predicted, Merlin did not win the Buggy contest. Now everyone is pissed at John. For every comment this gets, that’s how many swirly’s John has to endure. Merlin goes crazy and says some really obscene random stuff that nobody can decipher. And that’s it for this week!
I’ll leave y’all with this: Esther….CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.
Love love love you guys comments! Y’all are fabulous! I hope everyone is safe and has a Merry Christmas!
Until Next Week!