ANTM Recap: Less Fierce, More Farce

36 Comments

1. 1
   Hypnotoad
   Posted October 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

   I just realized that the photo session this week wasn’t the “50s retro” look AT ALL. It failed on all accounts to not only fit that theme, but it was also one of the cheapest photo settings I’ve seen in the history of this show. It was pathetic.

2. 2
   cattyfan
   Posted October 21, 2012 at 9:13 pm

   If Laura, who is around a size 2, is considered “too big” for a collection, then perhaps – just perhaps – the collection has been sewn TOO SMALL.

   Oh…and you mentioned McKey. That always makes me think of A.) the stupid fake names Tyra has made contestants use over the years and B.) McKey’s super-awkward poses and horse-stomp walk.

   It is more apparent every week that Victoria is just a really bad actress who is on this show in a sad attempt to further her fledgling career.

   How many weeks into this are we…and Tyra NOW FIRST mentions to Laura she should wear less make-up? Yeah…really helpful.

   This cycle the show feels like some kind of bad art school project instead of a reality show in its 20th season. Any remote vestige of a professional air has completely evaporated.

3. 3
   Hypnotoad
   Posted October 21, 2012 at 9:23 pm

   McKey was terrible. But that cycle was pretty lackluster. I love Isis, but she really didn’t deliver in cycle 11. Now, girl brought it in cycle 17 — she was robbed in that one. I don’t think she could have won, but she should have lasted much longer. I wanted Analeigh to win, but she’s done well for herself (although her character in “Crazy, Stupid, Love” was annoying). Probably better than she could have done if she would have won.

   Teyona and Krista are, in my opinion, some of the worst winners, ever. And after Renee was booted off in the Cycle 8 finale, I tuned out. I can’t help it — I love her. She’s probably my #1 favorite ANTM contestant ever.

   The girls this cycle suck. Just wanted to keep it relevant. . .

4. 4
   Adelefig
   Posted October 21, 2012 at 10:18 pm

   why don’t these idiots have enough sense to bring flat shoes for running to go-sees?? Then just slip their heels on right before they walk in.

   How are the ratings this year?? This show has lost whatever sense and heart it ever had.

5. 5
   bubblesballentine
   Posted October 21, 2012 at 10:59 pm

   This is beyond bad, guys. I doubt I’ll watch the rest, and oddly enough it won’t even be in some kind of protest because this season is just that forgettable. ANTM no longer exists – Aliens from the planet Fuckingembarrasing have taken it over.

   Bryanboy – Ground control orders you to self-combust. Thank you.

6. 6
   kron
   Posted October 21, 2012 at 11:34 pm

   Mike Rosenthal is soooo hot. The photographer this episode (sorry don’t remember his name) looked a bit pervy to me.
   I was really surprised Kelly stood up for Victoria too. maybe she was bullied when she was younger?
   Laura’s been doing really well… which means she probably won’t be winning. Don’t think Tyra wants to give her all that scholarship money she’s been banking. I really hope it’s Leila that comes back and wins everything!!

7. 7
   Luke
   Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:36 am

   Francessco Corrazini was so much hotter than Mike Rosenthal….either way, I’m pretty sure they’re both embarrassed to be associated with this train wreck by now! I wonder how many restraining orders Tyra actually has from these guys?

   Words cannot describe how much I HATE Kirara (like capital letters hate!), so you had a bad life? No one cares. Also, she looks much, much older than all the other girls and it shows, she wouldn’t have made it this far if it were a decent cycle.

   I kind of want Victoria to win, just because she got chicken chucked at her…best moment of this lackluster season.

   As for panel, these scores are always a total fix, Tyra’s not even trying to be subtle about it.

8. 8
   Grimoire
   Posted October 22, 2012 at 6:44 am

   I no longer watch the show. I do LIVE for the recaps. This season has squashed all of the enjoyment I have received from watching ALL of the past seasons and even catching the rerun marathons. Without the “Jays” and without Nigel this has become such a TYRAmania and TYRAnnical mess that I simply cannot tune in, And just read that next “cycle” will have guys & girls competing. I call that grasping at straws. This HAS to end.

9. 9
   itchy
   Posted October 22, 2012 at 6:55 am

   You know, I thought that between that Bryan Boy ass and that P’trick idiot, this show couldn’t possible get any worse. And then they haul out a nebbish who calls himself “The Cobra Snake.”

   I liked the video with the guy with the wrist flick. Pretty much sums up my feeling toward this season.

   Oh, and thanks for that photo of Flipit, Hypnotoad! You know, the one with the penis-grafitti. Because lately Flipit’s been looking much too handsome in his photos. It’s nice to see him pre-photoshop.

10. 10
    labowner
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Hello executives. This is what happens when you think 20-somethings know it all and the rest of us are old and don’t get it. You had a semi-decent, watchable show and you turned that into shit.

    My consensus is the runners up (usually 2-4) are good enough they can get work on their own thus why the less than stellar, we need help girls win.

11. 11
    juddfan
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    This episode didn’t tape, I don’t think there was one last week either, is it me? My DVR also didn’t tape American Horror Story–now that’s one I’m mad about. I keep looking on on demand every night!, Where is it people!?

    That aside, those pics are pretty weak. Sounds like I didn’t miss much . . . picking on Victoria is like kicking a puppy IMHO, at least she’s more entertaining than some. I hope she doesn’t have anorexia, like seriously hope, coz a little curve on her would go a long way to carrying her face. I hate those bony arms and legs . . .

    The thirteen year old sounded pretty smart, I’m just sayin’ . ..

    Hypno, great to read you again!!! I so agree, I want a celebrity boxing match with Kelly and BryanBlah!!! That little bitches hats and veils and black ankle socks would fly through the air!!! I agree with Kelly that he shouldn’t be expressing his opinion!!!

12. 12
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Hey juddfan! You’re right — there was no new episode last week. I’m not sure why . . .

    I’m still curious as to why Brittany and Victoria had better challenge scores than Nastasia. This cycle is rigged.

    And yes, next Cycle will be the male cycle. However, it will be half male/half female. And they’ll still have the social media scores, challenge scores, etc. I don’t know if they’ll have the “comeback” though, although I think they would have to, if people are voting on photos and they want to keep who wins a secret.

    From the previews for next week, it looks like Tyra says, “One of you will be joining these girls in Jamaica” or something. But I’ve seen some of the photos, and it looks like all the girls who have been kicked off are doing the same photo shoots. So everyone gets to go to Jamaica? I don’t get it.

    I hate this cycle. I own all the cycles available (I’m only missing 4-7 because they’re not available, which kind of sucks because I love Kahlen and Joanie) but I will not be purchasing this one. Ever.

13. 13
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Interesting stuff: http://www.huliq.com/10178/americas-next-top-model-voting-hoax

14. 14
    Xouille
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Thanks for the great recap Hypnotoad. And I agree with you on a lot of things.
    Worst cycle ever (cycle 16 was the worst for me and it is stille 10 times more watchable than this dreck.

    The voting is rigged : I love your picture so much, I give you a 4…
    Tyra and co decide which girl leaves the competition every week, and now thanks to the social media score she can blame it on the fans… even though said fans voted six months ago and not live.

    And I don’t think all the girls went overseas. All the girls did participate in the photoshoots but in my opinion the losing girls were probably photographed in a studio and not at the actual location.
    Some of the pictures found on the Internet are (poorly) retouched.

    And please, Bryanbitch an P’thetic, go back under the bridge where Tyra found you ans stay there forever.

15. 15
    AmyOops
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Holy shit on a shingle, Batman…right off the bat you named some of my all-time favorites! And all-time WTF were they thinking winners (although I’m not sure anything can compare to [shudder] Anya [shudder] winning on PR)! Cool beans.

    I was also a fan of crazy Brittany Hatch – she of the (well, ONE of the) bad weave, and scary-skinny Ann. Oh, and Asperger’s Heather. She was so sweet.

    Oops…I should probably get to reading the recap and prior comments lol.

16. 16
    AmyOops
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    “Kiara talks about her hard life and how her life was ha, and the one Tyra chose was absolutely rd and also, about how hard her life was. Oh, and she had a hard life.” Dammit Hypno, I actually snorted with laughter.

    Another of the 1,583 things that I hate about this cycle is that its SOOOO FREAKIN’ OBVIOUS that Ty Ty is NOT choosing the girls’ best photos. No effing way. Victoria got some kick ass shots that we all watched being taken, and there is abso- fucking-lutely no way that silly photo of her was the best. Shenanigans. Pisses. Me. Off.

17. 17
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    I often don’t think they choose the best photos on purpose. Many times — and, sadly, I know this because I am a freakin’ ANTM ho and have been watching it every weekend while drinking Evan Willams bourbon and ginger ale or 7-Up — in panel, the girls will say, “I did mix it up in other photos” and Tyra’s all, “I chose this photo, because . . .” So, sometimes, I think Tyra chooses not-necessarily-the-best photos on purpose.

    But this cycle? I don’t think she really has much of a choice — all the photo choices are crappy. I mean, first of all? The photo shoot budget is about 5 bucks. Second of all? Johnny Wujeck has no clue how to be a consultant on a photo shoot. At all. I cannot stress this enough — He’s horrible and completely NOT constructive. Jay Manuel was SO much better. Is he still hosting Canada’s Next Top Model? Cuz I feel the need to cleanse my palate with that. Combine those two factors together and you have really shitty photos. I really do feel like these are among the worst photos in the history of the show (Lluvy from Cycle 4, you’ve got competition, gurl!), due to the obvious cheap-ness of the budget and lack of direction from Johnny Wujeck.

    Also, remember when BryanBlahBlahBlah was at a photo shoot a couple weeks ago? Yeah, he’s not a part of that anymore. Perhaps because he sucks major ass, you guys.

    Can we discuss our favorite ANTM contestants, perhaps? That’s way more pleasing than discussing this cycle. Remember Sarah from Cycle 8? I love her. Perhaps it’s because I just watched it (Amazon on Demand or Vudu, y’all!). And remember when Tyra figured out that 99% of the girls from Cycle 8 smoked and she made Cycle 9 a non-smoking cycle? Classic. Also, I love Jenah. And even though I thought that — the first time I saw cycle 9 — Saleisha was chosen from day one to win, my 2nd time seeing the cycle, she’s actually probably the best choice.

    Renee, Nik, Laura (Cycle 13), Allison — those are my favorites. I hope Amazon of Vudu adds Cycle 5 soon, because I love Nik.

18. 18
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    *amazon OR Vudu, I mean.*

19. 19
    Luscious
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    Hypnotaod,
    Thanks for an awesome recap of of a horrific wreck of a show. I agree we should just move on to our faves.
    For me it is Allison, Bloody Eye Nicole, Honky Tonk Laura and Aspergers Heather. I swear I saw Heather in a shampoo commercial a few years ago. I hope so. She took such amazing pictures. Whatever happened to her?

20. 20
    NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 1:42 am

    Cecilia left her retainer in my room last night.

21. 21
    itchy
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 2:55 am

    Interesting link, Hypnotoad. For one thing, it confirms for me why I never read people’s blogs. This one was obviously written by someone with ADD.

    Although she does bring up the point that all of the voting was done before the show started airing, right?

    So “the social media” voted strictly on the photos they saw – not at all on personality. Which kind of makes it more fair, if less fun. They ought to do live voting, like American Idol. It’s not like the stakes are all that high, since it’s pretty random which of the girls go on to establish a career in modeling/acting.

    Not that “the social media’s” votes count for much, since the producers can manipulate both the challenge scores and the judges scores, both of which are rated on a scale of 10 (as opposed to “the social media’s” scale of 5).

    But there’s no way I’ll watch a boy’s version of this show. Tyra Banks just lost her entire heterosexual viewershiop. All three of us.

22. 22
    AmyOops
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Hypnotoad! Saleisha?!? I remember my rommmate and I pissing and moaning that she won, especially with that HIDEOUS bowl haircut they foisted upon her lol.

    The whole “vote only on the photos” thing without the accompanying knowledge of their personality, values (or lack thereof…KRISTIN), beliefs, et al, just stinks, IMO. The damn show has stressed how speech, manners, interaction…on and on…are sooooo damn important only to just shit on that in this cycle. Tyra, your hypocrisy amazes me (or NOT).

    Damn I loved Renee Alway’s voice! And I adored Joanie, and yes, Jenah. I also recall having a love/hate relationship” with Angry Blonde Molly. She took beautiful photos.

23. 23
    juddfan
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Luscious, you nailed my faves!!! And TG, coz I am no where near as amazing at recalling all this stuff as you all are!!! I’m pretty impressed with your recall and dedication! Asbergers Heather was a big favorite of mine!!!

    Just a note, there’s a video attached to the pics where the girls talk to the fans or whatever. I didn’t watch any, but it may be influencing how they were favored when the voting actually happened. Who even heard about the voting . . . as you are all huge fans, I find it fishy no one knew about the voting, SIX months ago, so for all we know, they put people up to placing the scorers, and manipulated that too! Haarrruuummpphhh!!!!

    @Itchy, I think it’s men and women, probably won’t be as awful as you think . . . I’m just sayin’ ; )

24. 24
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I knew about the voting when it began, but I chose to ignore it. 1.) I didn’t want to see what the photoshoots would be before the cycle aired. 2.) I was really confused as to how we, the voters, wouldn’t know who the winner would be if voting occured before airing (by the time I found out that all the girls did all the photoshoots, I was already resigned to not voting). However, if I’d known how much this cycle sucked, I probably would have voted. And honestly, without TVGasm, I probably wouldn’t have known about the voting in the first place . . .

    @AmyOops — Yeah, Saleisha. I don’t know who else could have won . . . Chantal is pretty but incredibly boring. And I don’t think Heather could have won, since there was Cover Girl stuff. I really liked Lisa in that cycle, though. She’s a gorgeous girl. Molly took great photos, but her attitude was absolutely horrible, so she turned me off. She didn’t come across as grateful, although I’m sure she was.

    After cycle 9, I’m going to watch 14, which I haven’t seen in forever. That cycle was lackluster. And Krista is, I have to say, my least favorite winner of any cycle, ever.

25. 25
    isthathissister
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 1:01 am

    I’ve watched ANTM since season 2 (i think), and at one point I even had friends encouraging me to try out for the show. THANK GOD i didn’t listen to them, because this show has become a mess. Rob- awful. Johnny- awful-er. Bryanboy- absolutely insufferable. I wish it would just end already.

    @Hypnotoad- I love Allison, Laura (our lovable country bumpkin), Kayla, Shandi, Joanie, Kahlen (from cycle 4 I think), Natasha (the lovable Russian from cycle 8)… so many lol.

    Definitely HATED Nicole (c5 winner), jade (well, I kind of love to hate her), Jaslene, Bianca (c9, and Whitney, who won that cycle, while we’re at it), Bianca (c13), Sandra, Mckey… that list could go on and on, too.

    Saw everyone listing their favorites and thought I’d throw my 2 cents in…

26. 26
    itchy
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 3:37 am

    @juddfan : They already tried a mixed men’s and women’s model competition show. It was ridiculous. Even worse than this season of ANTM.

27. 27
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 11:28 am

    “They already tried a mixed men’s and women’s model competition show. It was ridiculous. Even worse than this season of ANTM.”

    Do you speak of Make Me a Supermodel, with Tyson Beckford and some chick?
    If so, yes that shit was ridiculous LOL.

28. 28
    labowner
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Can’t remember when I started watching, but I usually move all of what I remember into my trash bin to be filled by a new cycle. I fell in love with Allison when she said “jealous” to Tyra when speaking about bloody noses.

29. 29
    Jennaboa
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Rob is wanted by the police for assault. He beat the tar out of some guy. This is probably the most interesting thing to happen this season. (Apparently he was a boxer before he was a “supermodel.” Go figure.)

30. 30
    labowner
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    “Evans is currently dating America’s Next Top Model creator and host, former supermodel Tyra Banks.”

    You guys were right about the relationship.

31. 31
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    “Tyra’s all, “I chose this photo, because . . .” So, sometimes, I think Tyra chooses not-necessarily-the-best photos on purpose.”

    Omfg, remember when she did that to Sandra? I think she was on the cycle that Teyona won, but omg that picture had me rolling. It was so ugly, and Sandra tried to tell Tyra that she had way better pictures than that. Tyra agreed that there were other pictures that were downright gorgeous, but since the chosen picture was one of the only ones where she was face-on to camera, that’s the one that got picked.
    And then she sent Sandra home over that picture.
    That was the most grimey but hilarious thing I’ve ever seen her do to a girl on ANTM, and I will never forget it.

32. 32
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Jennaboa beat me to it!

    http://www.tmz.com/2012/10/24/americas-next-top-model-rob-evans-assault-deadly-weapon/

33. 33
    AmyOops
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    OMG I had (mercifully) forgotten about the “Make…blahwhatever…Supermodel” show. Was it Molly Sims that hosted? The absolute WORST host in TV history, except maybe for Brooke Burns. She hosted that “Dog Eat Dog” games show awhile back. Oddly enough, I actually grew to like her terrible host-y-ness and loved the show itself.

    Hypno, LOL I would have chosen Jenah or Chantal over Saleisha. I vaguely recall thinking the Ebony girl that quit that cycle was gorgeous…or am I thinking of a different black girl with a looooong,sleek and straight weave and a STUNNING face?

    @isthat: Funny. You didn’t like Whitney and I’ve been waiting for flippin’ YEARS for her cycle to be repeated. I adored her look, and sometimes her personality. But we damn skippy agree on a lot of the others. I’d forgotten all about Natasha! What a sweet, goofy chick, and so stunning. Remember the shoot the models were all to play famous men and she kicked major ASS as a hip-hop artist? Good times…good times. **Tyra you have destroyed a show I once loved!!!** Damn you.

34. 34
    Hypnotoad
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    @Amyoops — Haha — I’ve been watching cycle 9 and thinking, “Why is Ebony on this show? She is the least attractive person I’ve ever seen on ANTM.” Just something about her face and body . . . Not a fan. But I’m sure she’s a very nice person. Maybe.

    And you guys, I couldn’t stand Natasha. At all. She was ever so arrogant and annoying. I’m so glad she didn’t win. Even though Renee should have won, I’d rather have Jaslene over Natasha. I say nyet to her.

    Also, Cycle 10 (Whitney’s cycle) is available for purchase on iTunes and Vudu. Vudu is awesome, by the way. If you have a Roku (if you don’t, I don’t know why you don’t), you can watch Vudu movies and tv on your tv (although you can still watch Vudu on your computer, I think). I don’t know if this is the case now, but when I signed up, I got a free movie and a $5.99 credit. Since the cycles of ANTM are only $12.99, I got a cycle for only $7.99. I suggest it!

35. 35
    isthathissister
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    @Amyoops– The only reason I dislike Whitney is that her cycle was SO rigged for her to win. Tyra just said “And now it’s time for a plus sized girl to win.” OH, wait, I mean “fiercely real”. And Natasha definitely rocked that photo shoot (funnily enough, now I recognize some of the drag queens, too. Thanks RuPaul!) And that was the cycle when they had to make up a nickname for themselves? Remember Hoolahay? And 50 cent pushing Jael (bless her meth addicted heart) into the pool? Good times indeed.

36. 36
    AmyOops
    Posted October 25, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    @Hypno: LOL. It’s soooo true, the whole “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” thing! And now that I’m thinking about it, I wonder if it’s Winner Danielle that I was picturing?

    @isthat: I’m sure you’re correct about the winning thing…but you must admit she was pretty stunning, kinda like Kasia (and yes – I had to look that up – thank jeebus for Wiki!) from cycle 16. That nickname thing KILLED me. So. Effing. Stupid. Similar to how stupid I thought it was when the I think all-stars had to embody some description? “Ugh squared”™, LOL.