First up, Laura. Panic attack is the topic du jour. Tyra wants to know if it was the pressure of the whole thing. Of COURSE it was, asshole. It wasn’t about not being able to get a good pizza! Oh, Pop Psychologist Tyra is firing on all cylinders today, surmising that Laura’s all wacky and weird because she’s covering pain from her childhood. YUP.
I wonder if Laura’s parents were alcoholics? I wonder if they love that everyone in America knows this now?
Then Tyra meets with Sophie. Sophie’s having trouble making eye contact, which is kinda funny. Tyra calls out Sophie’s tears during panel. Whatever. And then tells her, “If I were your age, I’d want to be your friend.” And the man and I laugh, saying, “But since I’m not, I don’t!” hahahah
Final runway. It’s Forever 21, as we already know. It’s in the lobby of the MGM hotel. And it’s a holographic show, somehow. And they have to walk within the outline of their own body. And fight samurai guys or something? Weird. I bet it’s a horrorshow.
Oh, some buddies come back to help the girls out during their show. Annaliese! Catharine! Eboni! And Alisha! My girl, she’s back!!! Yay!
So the show is all a mess. There’s not much to say about it, other than it’s basically in a mall or something, like a Tiffany concert circa 1988. And they do indeed have to walk within a very LARGE outline of their own body. And mock-fight holographic samurais. And …well, it IS a horrorshow. They have 90 second outfit changes.
Alisha, bless her heart, is still talking smack about how she’d be “mashing them up” if she were still in it. But she’s not, so…it’s silly. I still love her.
The whole thing is so cheesy. There’s a STUPID opening with five Tyras dressed up and doing stereotypical things, with a big Tyra looking down like, “WTF?” ANd then ACTUAL Tyra is standing in front of it all, and she does a really awkward Chinese greeting in Chinese with a super-racist snotty tone. Fun! Miss Jay is sitting in the front in an awful outfit with a big racist hat.
So, it turns out walking within that light is hard. Sophie and Laura are fine, Alisha is NOT. Oops!
Then fighting samurais. Stupid. Weird. Then there’s some dandelion hologram, where Sophie and Laura walk out and stare each other down, then blow on some dandelion props which blow holographically. Then it’s the final walk. Finally!
Final panel! Final judges are Kelly, Nigel, and Jay Manuel. That seems right.
First they talk about the Forever 21 show. Laura did fine, but Kelly thought she was too happy. Tyra didn’t notice a horrid walk. She DID notice a smoochy-tooch, though. Sophie did fine, too. The judges loved her body language during the dandelion thingie.
Cover Girl commercial! Oh, they’re kinda cool, actually. It’s like a behind-the-scenes thing, showing pretty girls wearing lipstick. Laura’s is nice! But she’s too nervous when she’s specifically on camera. Her behind-the-scenes thing is way better. Jay makes Laura tell everyone about the panic attack. Nigel is like, “Whatever. You’d get swapped out.”
Sophie’s commercial is weird. It seems more fake. And i hate those eyebrows! And I never noticed how long her front teeth were! Tyra thinks Sophie’s best wasn’t in the commercial.
Cover Girl print ad! Laura’s is fine, but not awesome. It’s not her best at ALL. Sophie’s is totally quirky, in a way that Laura’s should have been. She, admittedly, looks great.