I can’t believe it. We’re at the final episode of ANTM College Edition. Once this disaster is over, I wonder what schtick Tyra plans on using next season. She’s exhausted her “Harvard degree” bragging rights, so I’d be interested in ideas for what she’ll blow out of proportion next season.
Before we get to the train wreck, I’d like to offer another shout out to Hypnotoad, who once again did a fantastic rundown of last week’s episode. I’m happy to hear it wasn’t the expected flashback episode – yay for chopped budgets! Anyway, his work was so excellent, I haven’t even bothered to watch it.
No need when Super Hypnotoad is here.
So thanks for all your help, Hypno. You are awesomesauce.
Alright where the hell do we start with this mess? I guess I’ll just go in the order this shit showed, but it was all over the map and if it don’t make sense, well, that in and of itself makes sense, since Tyra is the Queen of Cray Cray.
Why Am I laughing?
Well because I just googled “Tyra Banks Queen of Cray Cray”
And this is what I got.
Anyway, so the show starts out showing our three finalists and giving us a recap on who they are. Leila is the comeback kid, having done something never before accomplished on ANTM: come back. Then there’s Laura trying to step out of the shadow of her famous parents and be a beauty in her own right. And Kiara, the warrior fighting tooth and nail to achieve her dreams. Blah blah blah.
Suddenly, we cut to an old mansion in Jamaica, which Tyra tells us is haunted. The cameras go inside. We get this:
Did Tyra think this was going to air in October?
Ominous music plays and we see all these frantic Blair Witch cuts of ghosts and tutus and our finalists appearing to lay broken on a floor and waving curtains and chandeliers and tracking up a spiral staircase and faces floating through the air. All of that in two seconds. I already have a headache and have a bad feeling that Tyra is going to cut this entire episode in that frenetic flashy way that will set all our epileptic viewers off.
So, WTF is up with this haunted house?
Tyra Serling is here to explain all.
She’s talking funny because she’s trying to smize the entire time in a haughty Elvira sort of way. Tyvira explains to us that this will be a “terrifying runway finale like we’ve never seen before.”
I don’t know about that … I’m still reeling from Teyona’s weave severing from her head as she clamored in the mud on Season 12.
Hard to imagine anything scarier than this..
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10