Anyway, as the dancers rock it out on the runway, we cut to images of the girls in hair and makeup with a note telling us it is three hours to runway. Then Tyra cuts to Kelly and worthlessbutcute Johnny who are on camera behind the scenes. I hope to God she’s messing with the timing in the edits here because if those poor people have to sit in those chairs for three freaking hours before the show starts, she’s a freaking demanding nut cake.
Anyway, we cut to Kelly and Johnny and Kelly’s all “Oh My God, Tyra!!!!” and I’m all like what the fuck is wrong with Kelly? Did someone give her uppers? When has she ever exclaimed OMG in a peppy voice?
And how the hell is Johnny allowed to dress people???
It ain’t just crazy behind the scenes, folks. It’s couture crazy. Then they tell us all about how the makeup artist from Smashbox cosmetics is like Johnny’s bestest ever (even bestier than Bob Marley’s daughter) and also one of Kelly’s clients. Ah, so that’s how they got Smashbox to fill in for Cover girl. Anyway, Kelly’s telling us all about how great Smashbox cosmetics are and how awesome the chick is that is doing their makeup.
Don’t know if Tyra actually thought this thing through when she first spotted the run down mansion and dreamed up her haunted house idea. ‘Cause right now the only time I plan on shopping Smashbox is for my next Halloween costume.
Now the eliminated girls arrive to assist in the runway, cause this isn’t a real one, so there ain’t no bona fide models working the show. Also being forced to put in an appearance is poor adorable Sophie of last seasons Brits vs Americans cycle. Girls are interviewed about who they think should win.
Although I think their few minutes of face time might
be better served as a platform for the hideous and seemingly
contagious disease that is causing their rapid aging.
Next all our finalists tell us how badly they want it. Leila says she’s been through more than any other girls because she got eliminated, so she deserves it more. It’s the first time I’ve ever wanted to punch her. Puhlease. You skated compared to the puppet strings Tyra pulled on the girls still in the competish.
Anyway, then Tyra tells us that before this evening that we are all in, the girls went to do their Nine West fashion shoot. Then we cut to that. So bear with me as we go back in time.
The girls arrive in a market place where Kelly and Johnny are once again hanging on each other (I’m just noticing they do that a lot). Kelly tells them this is a real photo shoot for a client who happens to be one of her clients. So both Smashbox and Nine West are tied to Kelly Cutrone? Methinks I understand why she skipped the head chopping after last season.
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