Around the World in 80 Plates – Qu’est-ce que c’est un quenelle?

Recaps

By Foggywood | Saturday, May 19, 2012 | 8:00 pm | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Around the World in 80 Plates, Recaps

  

It’s a shame they Disney never gave a musical number called “Les Sheeps”. Although…


I love me some Belle…

(and just for fun…) 

 

OK – back to reality!  We’re only 1/6 around the world in 9 plates when we open in a London train station awaiting the Chunnel train – the underground which connects Jolly Old E to Oui Oui F.

Because the Black team won the pub challenge they are traveling First Ballin’ Class! Aww yeah, aww yeah! However – TWIST! – since Chaz was the MVC (most valuable chef), he can rejigger the teams. He keeps Gary (speaks French) and Avery (did well last week), but  then chooses Nookie from the other team.


Yes.  Him.

WHAAAAT? The Nooks? The Gandolfini/O’Donnell love child? The one that was called out for having a bad dish and then slyly escorted poor Clara to the ACTUAL Tower of London? (poor Clara never imagined she would perish in such an ironic way – she thought the producers were taking her to Big Ben!) Shenanigans, I say!

On the train, Gary is attempting to get his groove on with the maitre d’, while Chaz is apparently filling up on Activia. That’s one way to clean out your system, Chaz.

Gary has been to France many times – il aime le France! He even brags about knowing how to French kiss! Whoa, Gary – don’t give away all of your scintillating backstory all at once!


Oh Gar – you’re such a charmer!

Cheven (who is mostly called Keven this episode?? So does he only call himself Cheven? Or is this a Gollum/Smeagul situation?) is still holding a grudge against Chaz for winning immunity and claiming the dessert idea as his own.  He does have a point, but shouldn’t he have mentioned that during judging?

OK – due to the fact I hate even typing the name “Cheven”, he will now be called  - Gollum.


Is that mean?  I think he asked for it…

Over on the Red team, they are struggling to survive in the coach section of the train. Nick takes note that he wasn’t picked to join the Black team, but he’s excited about his new teammates – Liz and Nicole. He’s a lying ass liar.

At this point Jenna begins her Wise Sensei/Condescending Faker personality. She tells Sai that “This is the heart”, meaning Lyon is the heart of cuisine. Sai (rhymes with Thai) isn’t happy about this reductive statement. Hello – Asia? Africa?

John (I know – who?) dismises Sai’s defense, basically saying she should shut the fuck up. Oh Lord. Jenna jumps in and says she can’t wait to gain from all of Sai’s knowledge of Asian cuisine – when they arrive in Asia. I think we can all see where this is going, right?

The teams arrive in Lyons, France and find the clue telling them to find their cars (Lexus, yes?) in the lot and follow the GPS directions. For the Black team – Gollum and Chaz drive. Of course.

Gollum tells us “I’m a leader. I like being in control.” Dude – do you ever listen to yourself?

Jenna gathers the Red team together and comes up with the brilliant idea of honking 3 times if their 2 cars need to communicate. Hey Jenna, how about honking ONCE. It’s rather effective. Sigh. You guys, she gets worse.

Sai is cool with Jenna taking the reigns, because she doesn’t “want to come off Asian Hitler style. Not yet.” Girl, you had me on your side for a second, but you just lost me.

On the Black team caravan, Gary and Gollum are giggling – which leads to Gollum missing the exit. He literally says “We are passing the exit.” as they pass the exit.  Gollum – now might be the time to TAKE the exit. I just can’t.

Needless to say, the second, car driven by Chaz, is not happy. He sees the exit and complains that they aren’t taking it. Sooo…why don’t you just take it and let dumb fuck Gollum follow you?    

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Foggywood
About

Jonathan Mallen grew up in San Francisco, went to college at Santa Clara University, and has spent the bulk of his youth living and dying in LA.  

Don't worry, mostly living.  

He has worked as an actor, teacher, limo driver, waiter, personal assistant, office assistant,  script reader, retail associate, stylist...the list goes on and on.

He is very happy to add BLOGGER to his illustrious resume.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Delia
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    You know, I tried to like this show, but with all the running around and random places, I just can’t.

    Cat Cora isn’t very likeable either.

  2. 2
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    I haven’t seen this episode. I love competition shows and I used to be a chef. Now I sell food to other chefs for a living. I have a love/hate relationship with all of these shows, but this is just too much. Are these people really chefs in real life? I mean I can understand being confused about the definition of “quenelle” since it has different meanings in the US and France, but they should be able to identify sheep’s milk cheeses, even if only by process of elimination. There are some very common cheeses that are known to be made with sheep’s milk. Feta, manchego, pecorino, haloumi, robiola, etc. If you use the known charactaristics of those cheeses it shouldn’t be problem to figure out whether the cheese in front of you is made from the same thing. I think the pool of real chefs willing to embarrass themselves is running thin and they are starting to use the dishwashers and busboys to fill the casting gaps.

  3. 3
    skychickie
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    So the first episode I watched I was drunk and got really confused. The 2nd not drunk but I fell asleep during the show… I’m thinking I need to find a happy medium.

  4. 4
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 1:26 am

    I’m still on the fence about this show. It seems like it would be more interesting if the people were likable.

    Gollum/Cheven reminds me of an annoying and obnoxious version of Schmidt from New Girl.

  5. 5
    Nameof State
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Nerd Alert: I christened Keven Charbonneau, as in the incompetent husband of Sacajawea that kept screwing up the Lewis and Clark expedition. I called my mom (an L&C fanatic) for clarification on the name and she mentioned he was a chef too. So, I guess it was Kismet.

    Jenna should have been eliminated. She is useless. Her knowledge of French was to say hello and ask if everyone knew English? And…no one else could have done that? And a brownie? Sai is extremely annoying but her dish was the one the locals liked the best. Although how are you a chef and you’ve never poached an egg?

    Avery and Gary rocked it. Chaz was lame this week.

  6. 6
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Thank you for the recap, Foggy! Yeah, I am sort on the fence on this show as well. The likability factor on this show is low. The Chaz is annoying me – you did not invent post-its, dude! Stop trying to take credit for everything. Jeanna is likely to be the victim of friendly fire if she was in a war – annoying to the max. I am not convinced that that the two boys on her team have pube hair yet. Kevin the Gollum is deluded and could someone not film up his nose please? Added irritation: he made the Nookie look good this episode. I’m not feeling Tiger mom in training either.

    Avery has a little sexy vibe that could turn into a girl crush if she continues to rock like she did in this episode.

    Where’s my Cat?

  7. 7
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Oh, yeah…Gary is sharing likeability billing with Avery right now. Unless he starts that “Project Runway” contestant crying.

  8. 8
    Homer
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Ok, Foggy, I thought last time I read your re-cap you had made up “Cheven” so I was disappointed to find that he named himself! Hahaha. We are catching up on the episodes now. I can’t stand any of the chefs so I pick Chef Curtis for the win! But you got us to watch another show with annoying contestants because I want to keep up with your hilarious re-caps.
    For sure I think Jenna needs to go next. Pretty please?

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