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It’s a shame they Disney never gave a musical number called “Les Sheeps”. Although…
(and just for fun…)
OK – back to reality! We’re only 1/6 around the world in 9 plates when we open in a London train station awaiting the Chunnel train – the underground which connects Jolly Old E to Oui Oui F.
Because the Black team won the pub challenge they are traveling First Ballin’ Class! Aww yeah, aww yeah! However – TWIST! – since Chaz was the MVC (most valuable chef), he can rejigger the teams. He keeps Gary (speaks French) and Avery (did well last week), but then chooses Nookie from the other team.
WHAAAAT? The Nooks? The Gandolfini/O’Donnell love child? The one that was called out for having a bad dish and then slyly escorted poor Clara to the ACTUAL Tower of London? (poor Clara never imagined she would perish in such an ironic way – she thought the producers were taking her to Big Ben!) Shenanigans, I say!
On the train, Gary is attempting to get his groove on with the maitre d’, while Chaz is apparently filling up on Activia. That’s one way to clean out your system, Chaz.
Gary has been to France many times – il aime le France! He even brags about knowing how to French kiss! Whoa, Gary – don’t give away all of your scintillating backstory all at once!
Cheven (who is mostly called Keven this episode?? So does he only call himself Cheven? Or is this a Gollum/Smeagul situation?) is still holding a grudge against Chaz for winning immunity and claiming the dessert idea as his own. He does have a point, but shouldn’t he have mentioned that during judging?
OK – due to the fact I hate even typing the name “Cheven”, he will now be called - Gollum.
Over on the Red team, they are struggling to survive in the coach section of the train. Nick takes note that he wasn’t picked to join the Black team, but he’s excited about his new teammates – Liz and Nicole. He’s a lying ass liar.
At this point Jenna begins her Wise Sensei/Condescending Faker personality. She tells Sai that “This is the heart”, meaning Lyon is the heart of cuisine. Sai (rhymes with Thai) isn’t happy about this reductive statement. Hello – Asia? Africa?
John (I know – who?) dismises Sai’s defense, basically saying she should shut the fuck up. Oh Lord. Jenna jumps in and says she can’t wait to gain from all of Sai’s knowledge of Asian cuisine – when they arrive in Asia. I think we can all see where this is going, right?
The teams arrive in Lyons, France and find the clue telling them to find their cars (Lexus, yes?) in the lot and follow the GPS directions. For the Black team – Gollum and Chaz drive. Of course.
Gollum tells us “I’m a leader. I like being in control.” Dude – do you ever listen to yourself?
Jenna gathers the Red team together and comes up with the brilliant idea of honking 3 times if their 2 cars need to communicate. Hey Jenna, how about honking ONCE. It’s rather effective. Sigh. You guys, she gets worse.
Sai is cool with Jenna taking the reigns, because she doesn’t “want to come off Asian Hitler style. Not yet.” Girl, you had me on your side for a second, but you just lost me.
On the Black team caravan, Gary and Gollum are giggling – which leads to Gollum missing the exit. He literally says “We are passing the exit.” as they pass the exit. Gollum – now might be the time to TAKE the exit. I just can’t.
Needless to say, the second, car driven by Chaz, is not happy. He sees the exit and complains that they aren’t taking it. Sooo…why don’t you just take it and let dumb fuck Gollum follow you?