You guys, is this real? Shenanigans!
And…the Red team arrives first. Shocker. They are on a sheep farm in the countryside. They are greeted by Jean-Marc who is wearing the stereotypical French scarf around his neck. Love it.
You forgot the mustache Jean-Marc!
Jean-Marc (who by his coloring has been visiting the local vineyard – if you know what I mean) gives them the task. 2 members need to identify 6 sheep cheeses among a table of 30 varieties. Jenna (duh) and John volunteer to taste.
In their 1st check – Jean-Marc says “NON!”
Jean-Marc can work a sheep farm OR a wheat farm – he’s good like that!
Before the 2nd check, Jenna says “I am really comfortable in this choice” before hearing JM declare “NON!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Jenna sucks.
The Black team arrives! Gollum (duh) and Gary volunteer to taste.
3rd check for the Red team – “NON!” HAHAHAHAHA!
After the 4th “NON!” Jenna tells Jean-Marc that SHE DISAGREES with him. Oh hell no. Do not mess with Jean-Marc and his man scarf!
10 checks later, JM goes nuts and declares the Red team – “OK!” He really goes for it – even giving a double thumbs up!
That is gold, people! Gold!
The Red team grabs the next clue, which tells them they have to wrangle 4 sheep into their pen without touching them. I think I had to do this for my fraternity’s hell week.
Back to the Black team, Gollum has finally come thru and Jean-Marc goes nuts again. Can we swap Jean-Marc for Jenna? Or Chaz?
The Black team are 5 minutes behind. Gollum tells them to think about Moses – um…ok.
They just want to chill and eat grass – leave ‘em alone!
They actually get 3 sheep in before the Red team has any, until…Gollum let’s them escape. I mean…really?
Sidenote: OMG, you guys! Chaz is from Vorhees, NJ.
As in JASON Vorhees??? Talk amongst yourselves.
Gary speaks French to the sheep (liking Gary more and more) and re-corrals them.
Black team wins! They are given the map to their next destination by Jean-Marc who yells for a while before he launches into a jazzy rendition of La Marseilles.
They have to find Curtis by a river. Don’t we all. Amirite, ladies???
MEAN-while, Jenna yells at her team “Be the cattle dog, you always knew you were!” This does not help in the sheepherding process. She’s a motivator, you guys!
The Red team finish! They jump in their Mercedes-Benz’s (right?) and take off to the next task which will give the winner the EXCEPTIONAL INGREDIENT!!!
Sidenote: Last week the E.I. was a potato. I do believe this
week it will be a turnip.
The Black Team is now searching for a “big massive red barge in the middle of Lyon.” The jokes write themselves at this point, don’t they? They find it.
What have they done with my Cutie Cat Cora?
Curtis introduces them to a Lyonnaise wine shop owner/sommelier who tells them they need to pair 8 wines with their source ingredient. I.O.W. – match the wine with the food.
Gollum volunteers immediately (duh – although he does ask for approval from the team which they give – hmm). Nookie them head-talks that Gollum is “as much use as a fart in a spacesuit.” Someone’s been watching SpaceCamp!
Lotsa farts in that movie I bet
Gollum talks and talks before giving his first guess. Only 2 are correct. Keven/Cheven/Gollum – what the fuck??? In the same delusional mindset as Jenna, he insists that this ruling is “impossible.” You guys, this dude is on your television. Getting paid.
Keep drinkin’ Nookie – he will never shut up