Around the World in 80 Plates – Qu’est-ce que c’est un quenelle?

Recaps

By Foggywood | Saturday, May 19, 2012 | 8:00 pm | 8 Comments
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Posted in: Around the World in 80 Plates, Recaps

You guys, is this real? Shenanigans!

And…the Red team arrives first. Shocker. They are on a sheep farm in the countryside. They are greeted by Jean-Marc who is wearing the stereotypical French scarf around his neck. Love it.


You forgot the mustache Jean-Marc!

Jean-Marc (who by his coloring has been visiting the local vineyard – if you know what I mean) gives them the task. 2 members need to identify 6 sheep cheeses among a table of 30 varieties. Jenna (duh) and John volunteer to taste.

In their 1st check – Jean-Marc says “NON!”


Jean-Marc can work a sheep farm OR a wheat farm – he’s good like that!

Before the 2nd check, Jenna says “I am really comfortable in this choice” before hearing JM declare “NON!”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Jenna sucks.

The Black team arrives! Gollum (duh) and Gary volunteer to taste.


3rd check for the Red team – “NON!” HAHAHAHAHA!

After the 4th “NON!” Jenna tells Jean-Marc that SHE DISAGREES with him. Oh hell no.  Do not mess with Jean-Marc and his man scarf!

10 checks later, JM goes nuts and declares the Red team – “OK!” He really goes for it – even giving a double thumbs up!


That is gold, people!  Gold!

The Red team grabs the next clue, which tells them they have to wrangle 4 sheep into their pen without touching them.  I think I had to do this for my fraternity’s hell week.

Back to the Black team, Gollum has finally come thru and Jean-Marc goes nuts again. Can we swap Jean-Marc for Jenna?  Or Chaz?

The Black team are 5 minutes behind. Gollum tells them to think about Moses – um…ok.


They just want to chill and eat grass – leave ‘em alone!

They actually get 3 sheep in before the Red team has any, until…Gollum let’s them escape. I mean…really?

                   Sidenote: OMG, you guys! Chaz is from Vorhees, NJ.
                   As in JASON Vorhees???  Talk amongst yourselves.

Gary speaks French to the sheep (liking Gary more and more) and re-corrals them.

Black team wins! They are given the map to their next destination by Jean-Marc who yells for a while before he launches into a jazzy rendition of La Marseilles.

They have to find Curtis by a river. Don’t we all. Amirite, ladies???

MEAN-while, Jenna yells at her team “Be the cattle dog, you always knew you were!” This does not help in the sheepherding process. She’s a motivator, you guys!

The Red team finish! They jump in their Mercedes-Benz’s (right?) and take off to the next task which will give the winner the EXCEPTIONAL INGREDIENT!!!

                     Sidenote: Last week the E.I. was a potato. I do believe this
                     week it will be a turnip.

The Black Team is now searching for a “big massive red barge in the middle of Lyon.” The jokes write themselves at this point, don’t they? They find it.


What have they done with my Cutie Cat Cora?

Curtis introduces them to a Lyonnaise wine shop owner/sommelier who tells them they need to pair 8 wines with their source ingredient. I.O.W. – match the wine with the food.

Gollum volunteers immediately (duh – although he does ask for approval from the team which they give – hmm). Nookie them head-talks that Gollum is “as much use as a fart in a spacesuit.” Someone’s been watching SpaceCamp!


Lotsa farts in that movie I bet

Gollum talks and talks before giving his first guess. Only 2 are correct. Keven/Cheven/Gollum – what the fuck??? In the same delusional mindset as Jenna, he insists that this ruling is “impossible.” You guys, this dude is on your television. Getting paid.


Keep drinkin’ Nookie – he will never shut up

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Foggywood
About

Jonathan Mallen grew up in San Francisco, went to college at Santa Clara, and has spent the bulk of his youth living and dying in LA.  Don't worry, mostly living.  He has worked as an actor, teacher, limo driver, waiter, personal assistant, office assistant,  script reader, retail associate, etc etc AND etc...  Very glamorous, he knows.  He is very happy to add blogger to his illustrious resume.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Delia
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    You know, I tried to like this show, but with all the running around and random places, I just can’t.

    Cat Cora isn’t very likeable either.

  2. 2
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    I haven’t seen this episode. I love competition shows and I used to be a chef. Now I sell food to other chefs for a living. I have a love/hate relationship with all of these shows, but this is just too much. Are these people really chefs in real life? I mean I can understand being confused about the definition of “quenelle” since it has different meanings in the US and France, but they should be able to identify sheep’s milk cheeses, even if only by process of elimination. There are some very common cheeses that are known to be made with sheep’s milk. Feta, manchego, pecorino, haloumi, robiola, etc. If you use the known charactaristics of those cheeses it shouldn’t be problem to figure out whether the cheese in front of you is made from the same thing. I think the pool of real chefs willing to embarrass themselves is running thin and they are starting to use the dishwashers and busboys to fill the casting gaps.

  3. 3
    skychickie
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    So the first episode I watched I was drunk and got really confused. The 2nd not drunk but I fell asleep during the show… I’m thinking I need to find a happy medium.

  4. 4
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 1:26 am

    I’m still on the fence about this show. It seems like it would be more interesting if the people were likable.

    Gollum/Cheven reminds me of an annoying and obnoxious version of Schmidt from New Girl.

  5. 5
    Nameof State
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Nerd Alert: I christened Keven Charbonneau, as in the incompetent husband of Sacajawea that kept screwing up the Lewis and Clark expedition. I called my mom (an L&C fanatic) for clarification on the name and she mentioned he was a chef too. So, I guess it was Kismet.

    Jenna should have been eliminated. She is useless. Her knowledge of French was to say hello and ask if everyone knew English? And…no one else could have done that? And a brownie? Sai is extremely annoying but her dish was the one the locals liked the best. Although how are you a chef and you’ve never poached an egg?

    Avery and Gary rocked it. Chaz was lame this week.

  6. 6
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Thank you for the recap, Foggy! Yeah, I am sort on the fence on this show as well. The likability factor on this show is low. The Chaz is annoying me – you did not invent post-its, dude! Stop trying to take credit for everything. Jeanna is likely to be the victim of friendly fire if she was in a war – annoying to the max. I am not convinced that that the two boys on her team have pube hair yet. Kevin the Gollum is deluded and could someone not film up his nose please? Added irritation: he made the Nookie look good this episode. I’m not feeling Tiger mom in training either.

    Avery has a little sexy vibe that could turn into a girl crush if she continues to rock like she did in this episode.

    Where’s my Cat?

  7. 7
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Oh, yeah…Gary is sharing likeability billing with Avery right now. Unless he starts that “Project Runway” contestant crying.

  8. 8
    Homer
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Ok, Foggy, I thought last time I read your re-cap you had made up “Cheven” so I was disappointed to find that he named himself! Hahaha. We are catching up on the episodes now. I can’t stand any of the chefs so I pick Chef Curtis for the win! But you got us to watch another show with annoying contestants because I want to keep up with your hilarious re-caps.
    For sure I think Jenna needs to go next. Pretty please?

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