Around the World in 80 Plates – Qu’est-ce que c’est un quenelle?

Recaps

By Foggywood | Saturday, May 19, 2012 | 8:00 pm | 8 Comments
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Posted in: Around the World in 80 Plates, Recaps

Hold up! Nookie (who I did it all for) is stepping up and rearranging the wine by some sort of logic. Logic? Hmm, does not compute.

Just as the Red team arrives, Nookie convinces Gollum to switch two reds (ha) and they win! Nookie’s method works; the pairs are paired and Gollum admires his reflection in the river.

The Black team wins the EXCEPTIONAL INGREDIENT! Which is…a cooking class. WHAT? Before I rationalize this – how is a class an exceptional ingredient? A potato is more of an e.i. Why not call it the Amuse Bouche? Or the Spinning Spice? Or the Palatable Protein? Whatevs, it’s just the extra credit – I get it…

The master class is with Chef Joseph Viola, a premier chef in Lyon who has won the Best Worker in France medal (according to Gary’s translation). He will instruct them on the dishes that they will be making the next day for the public. Each team must create four traditional Lyonnaise dishes including a quenelle (which I initially thought was a canal or a querelle or a kumquat).


Chef Joseph!  That MF’r knows a MF’in quenelle!

Chaz pipes in saying “Because I grew up in Philadelphia, I know quenelles are very evil, temperamental foods.”  None of that statement makes sense.  

The Red team gets nothing.

The Black team arrives at Daniel et Denise, Chef Joseph’s restaurant. Avery says this is like a guitarist meeting The Rolling Stones. Um, Avery?  Led Zeppelin, maybe.  The Stones – ok…  Needless to say, Avery is gobsmacked. The team tastes the dishes, they praise Chef Joseph etc…

Meanwhile the Red team is cruising the streets of Lyon, researching the cafe menus.

Jenna continues to be annoying. At one point (while she’s speaking ENGLISH btw), she asks is “everyone is understanding me at least?” Yes, bitch – because we understand ENGLISH!


You are not the boss of anyone!

They eventually find a quenelle on a cafe menu and order it up. Nick says he can make a traditional fish mousse, but this is new to him. Jenna volunteers to make a dessert – a brownie. They are in Lyon, France and she is making a brownie. Have fun as the head chef of TGIFridays, Jenna.


Flair!

Back to Black, they are served the quenelle. It is a fish mousse-like cake with a fish sauce. I want to call it a tamale like dish, but lighter and with the ingredients mixed in the base. I dunno…


Le quenelle

Smartypants Gollum calls it “a really good piece of gefilte fish.” Avery agrees and thinks that she can create a quenelle. I think I like Avery now.

The next day the Red team arrive at Le Bistro de Palais.  Jenna is the front of house/expediter due to her French skill. Nicole is doing the fish. John is doing the sauce. Sai is doing the salad, but she can’t poach an egg. There’s no egg poaching in Thai cuisine! Uh-oh. Nick is doing the quenelle, but he doesn’t know how to do that either.

Back in Black, Gary is front of house. Avery is doing le quenelle. Nookie is doing foie gras. Chaz is doing chicken. Liz (who?) is doing dessert.

OK – so. They bring in the queen of Lyonnaise cooking and another restaurant owner to join Curtis and Cat.

The Red is first. Le quenelle sucks – it’s a failed dumpling. The salad is good. They ran out of fish. The brownie – is a brownie.

The Black has an amazing quenelle. The salad sucks. The portions of chicken are too big and then Chaz has a breakdown. Chaz kinda sucks too.

The teams arrive at judging and the winner is… the Black team! Avery is awarded MVC. Chaz complains. (When they arrive at judging, Chaz tries to take credit for Avery’s decision to cut down the portions of chicken.  She shuts him down.  Didn’t he try to take credit for the dessert last week too?) 

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Foggywood
About

Jonathan Mallen grew up in San Francisco, went to college at Santa Clara, and has spent the bulk of his youth living and dying in LA.  Don't worry, mostly living.  He has worked as an actor, teacher, limo driver, waiter, personal assistant, office assistant,  script reader, retail associate, etc etc AND etc...  Very glamorous, he knows.  He is very happy to add blogger to his illustrious resume.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Delia
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    You know, I tried to like this show, but with all the running around and random places, I just can’t.

    Cat Cora isn’t very likeable either.

  2. 2
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    I haven’t seen this episode. I love competition shows and I used to be a chef. Now I sell food to other chefs for a living. I have a love/hate relationship with all of these shows, but this is just too much. Are these people really chefs in real life? I mean I can understand being confused about the definition of “quenelle” since it has different meanings in the US and France, but they should be able to identify sheep’s milk cheeses, even if only by process of elimination. There are some very common cheeses that are known to be made with sheep’s milk. Feta, manchego, pecorino, haloumi, robiola, etc. If you use the known charactaristics of those cheeses it shouldn’t be problem to figure out whether the cheese in front of you is made from the same thing. I think the pool of real chefs willing to embarrass themselves is running thin and they are starting to use the dishwashers and busboys to fill the casting gaps.

  3. 3
    skychickie
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    So the first episode I watched I was drunk and got really confused. The 2nd not drunk but I fell asleep during the show… I’m thinking I need to find a happy medium.

  4. 4
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 1:26 am

    I’m still on the fence about this show. It seems like it would be more interesting if the people were likable.

    Gollum/Cheven reminds me of an annoying and obnoxious version of Schmidt from New Girl.

  5. 5
    Nameof State
    Posted May 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Nerd Alert: I christened Keven Charbonneau, as in the incompetent husband of Sacajawea that kept screwing up the Lewis and Clark expedition. I called my mom (an L&C fanatic) for clarification on the name and she mentioned he was a chef too. So, I guess it was Kismet.

    Jenna should have been eliminated. She is useless. Her knowledge of French was to say hello and ask if everyone knew English? And…no one else could have done that? And a brownie? Sai is extremely annoying but her dish was the one the locals liked the best. Although how are you a chef and you’ve never poached an egg?

    Avery and Gary rocked it. Chaz was lame this week.

  6. 6
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Thank you for the recap, Foggy! Yeah, I am sort on the fence on this show as well. The likability factor on this show is low. The Chaz is annoying me – you did not invent post-its, dude! Stop trying to take credit for everything. Jeanna is likely to be the victim of friendly fire if she was in a war – annoying to the max. I am not convinced that that the two boys on her team have pube hair yet. Kevin the Gollum is deluded and could someone not film up his nose please? Added irritation: he made the Nookie look good this episode. I’m not feeling Tiger mom in training either.

    Avery has a little sexy vibe that could turn into a girl crush if she continues to rock like she did in this episode.

    Where’s my Cat?

  7. 7
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 22, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Oh, yeah…Gary is sharing likeability billing with Avery right now. Unless he starts that “Project Runway” contestant crying.

  8. 8
    Homer
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Ok, Foggy, I thought last time I read your re-cap you had made up “Cheven” so I was disappointed to find that he named himself! Hahaha. We are catching up on the episodes now. I can’t stand any of the chefs so I pick Chef Curtis for the win! But you got us to watch another show with annoying contestants because I want to keep up with your hilarious re-caps.
    For sure I think Jenna needs to go next. Pretty please?

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