Thai Lady Gaga Flash Mob – It’s 2009 all over again!
Ah, Thailand. Where exotic spices flavor the air (or is that the Thai stick?), ladyboys populate the backrooms, and the coconut water flows like, well, water. And where comeuppance is a dish best served cold – or hot for that matter. Who the hell cares as long as it is served and it doesn’t run out too soon? Bring it on and serve it up!
We begin in Bologna. I think Jenna feels a bit nervous and knows the eliminations will be more personal. Yeah. Nicole knows she screwed up last week and would be gone without her immunity. She needs to watch herself. John is excited that for the first time, Jenna won’t know the language. I am also excited.
They arrive in Chiang Mai, Thailand and are greeted by the official reality show Thai ambassador/concubine who hands them their instructions. Teams of two must go to Ton Phayom market and get 2 baskets of coconuts.
John and Nooks team up, Liz and Nicole team up, and Avery is left with Jenna. John calls them team oil and water. This will not end well. They find taxis and head out.
The teams arrive at the market with the Black team in the lead. Nookie and John find the coconuts first and fill their 2 baskets. Red and White spy the guys and grab their baskets. The next clue is in Thai and they must find a translator.
Did you know, that in some parts of Thailand coconuts are harvested by trained monkeys? This appears on screen as the show’s trained monkeys attempt to balance their lovely bunch of coconuts on their shoulders. Oh Bravo. The vendors laugh at the monkey chefs, but Nookie and John are able to find a guide to lead them to the next location.
They must now grate 5 pounds of coconut and then head to the Mae Taeng rice paddy. John has experience in the world of coconut grating via culinary school. That John is full of surprises.
Every man should shave his coconuts once every 6 weeks
Liz and Nicole arrive, but Jenna and avery are nowhere to be found. Nicole wonders why John is the only one shaving, but then takes note that Nookie can’t fit on the Thai chair (Thaichair! HA!). Is the Thai chair necessary?
Did I hear someone making fun of my coconuts?
Anyway, Avery and Jenna are lost. Jenna and Avery arrive and sneaky sneak by adding the coconut water to their shavings thus increasing the weight. Cheater, cheater coconut eater! John and Nookie finish and are off! Liz and Nicole are 4 minutes behind! With the help of the coconut water, Jenna and Avery are immediately behind them.
When they arrive at the field crossing on the way to the rice paddy, John opts to cross straight through the treacherous terrain and reminds Nookie that he can do it – he’s a soccer player! (?!) Hilariously, Nookie admits that he was a goalie – only because he hated to run. More hilariously, Nookie disappears face down in the field. Once I finish this, I will search long and hard for a GIF of that moment. My weekend will then be complete.
Holy jeez, Nicole and Liz are bookin’ it. At the rice paddy, they must plant 20 rows of rice, one at a time. They don their official rice paddy plantin’ hats and go to work. Jenna and Avery finally arrive and Jenna decides to put on some strange orange galoshes that everyone else has decided are too stupid looking to wear. And she’s sinking in the mud because of the boots and her weak ankles. Lose the boots, lady, or quit whining about it! Sheesh!
Maybe they’re orthopedic boots? PS – if you look real close you can see steam coming out of Avery’s ears