Around the World in 80 Plates – Wow, Didn’t Think There Would Be Nudity So Soon, Right?

Recaps

By Foggywood | Sunday, May 13, 2012 | 1:09 am | 9 Comments
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Posted in: Around the World in 80 Plates, Recaps

Not that he’s a bear. Or a twink for that matter. He’s a new father for cryin’ out loud! We did see a picture of his ass on What What Happens w/ A.C. however, so in an ideal world I’m going with twink.


I’ve been looking for boots just like that!  J. Crew?

And I do love me some Cat Cora and her Ouzo shots. I love that she and her partner have 4 little boys together. Adorable!


So cute.  I want 2 mommies!

They are divided into 2 teams, creatively named The Red Team and The Black Team. Someone’s been listening to Les Miserables!

They have to go to 3 different pubs throughout London. Eat 3 dishes and the accompanying drink (i.e. alcohol!) as soon as possible. The team to finish the pub crawl first is given the gift of the Exceptional Ingredient – which is an integral part of those dishes that they will have to recreate the next day. The 3 dishes are:

1) black (blood) pudding

2) fish and chips

3) steak and kidney pie

They finish the pudding and fish and chips, but they are able to skip eating the pie if they drink yards of ale instead. Obviously both teams go for the booze.

 


I think my freshman year roommate had a bong that looked just like that

So by the time they finish the last pub meal in front of Aussie Bear and Cutie Cat, they are wasted. The red team wins and are given the gift of the Exceptional Ingredient – a potato. First time I’ve ever heard a potato described as exceptional.

Only then do they learn that the next day they will have to separately take over a pub and recreate those 3 dishes AND create another 2 of their own. They will poll the pub customers to determine the winner. The initial 3 dishes include the steak and kidney pie that both teams opted not to eat in favor of alcohol. Oh well. Tell it to your sponsor.

The next day the Red Team takes over the Draper’s Arms Pub. Nigella Lawson (humma, humma!) is there as a judge (patron? shill?) as well as the pub’s owner. In addition to the 3 gastropub items, they will make halibut and bread pudding. Just then do I see Nicole, the prototypical woman who just happens to be Asian (where’s Tiger Mom when you need her?). and realize she is a cheftestant. And just then does she get her first talking head interview. Thanks Nicole, uh…you’re cute!?


I hope her lack of screen time doesn’t mean early expulsion.  Think she might be one of those quiet ones that loses her shit at some point and calls everone out.  Cross your fingers!

The Black Team takes over the Duke of Cambridge Pub. They change the name to British Love, American Pride for the day. Oh criminey, these people are fucking stupid. You change the name of a decades old pub, a landmark to include the word “American”? You guys – um, the good ole US of A is not the entire world. Check yo’self.

The Black Team include Bubble and Squeak and a Ploughman’s sandwich. Yums.

Sidebar – I lived in London for a while and never actually had any of these food items. Most of London consists of incredible restaurants, not food serving local pubs. Kind of think the show missed a great opportunity with this task.

They take a survey of the crowds and the praise is split down the middle of course. This one loved the dessert, this one hated the fries – yadda, yadda.


Just cuz.  She’s a looker, huh?

Nookie’s pie sucked, the pudding hash sucked. The Black’s dessert was great: Chaz takes full credit for it, even though it was Cheven’s idea. Aww, shit! I smell dr-ama!

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Foggywood
About

Jonathan Mallen grew up in San Francisco, went to college at Santa Clara, and has spent the bulk of his youth living and dying in LA.  Don't worry, mostly living.  He has worked as an actor, teacher, limo driver, waiter, personal assistant, office assistant,  script reader, retail associate, etc etc AND etc...  Very glamorous, he knows.  He is very happy to add blogger to his illustrious resume.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 2:21 am

    LOL at “Minnie Mouse Realness”… I’d prefer to fuck an apple pie than that Sai chick… and something tells me all the mirrors in her house have a slight vertical-running concavity to them… it’s the only way I can think of to explain her being so convinced of her hotness.

    Just want to point out that Chaz Brown (or Chazzy as I liked to call him for the short time I saw him) is a reject from last season’s Top Chef Texas (http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/top-chef-recap-the-bubble-bursts.html) who didn’t make it onto the show because he couldn’t get his risotto plated in time. EMBARRASSING!

    love, J-Mo :)

  2. 2
    MelBell
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 5:21 am

    Towards the end of the show, during their little confessional interviews, I could not get over how big “Cheven” nostrils are…they were totally distracting.

  3. 3
    Homer
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 8:05 am

    Omg!! I didn’t even watch this episode and this was a hilarious read. Ah yes, I agree with the 56895325 shows about cooking that are now on tv. I love Nigella. Love.Her. This show does have an interesting concept and I love The Amazing Race as well, so after reading your review I’m going to start watching. Chaz sounds like trouble for sure. Anyone that doesn’t know the difference between Big Ben and Tower of London when you are actually IN London scares me.
    P.S. I was sad Ringer wasn’t coming back, but now that I know you are writing these reviews all is good again!

  4. 4
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Oh J-Mo, so nice to have you as the “insider” for this show. Now all we need is a wacko chef to defend, um, something. We could get upwards of a dozen comments.

    Just think!

    Missed the show, too, but thanks to your recap foggy, I’m listing it as a fave.

  5. 5
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Did anyone else get the feeling that the teams get swapped at some point during the season, based on the clips they showed? I actually like this show, mainly because it is a mashup of Survivor, the Amazing Race, and Top Chef. I don’t know what to make of the cast so far, but as the show moves along, I think the show will get better. I’ll be along for the ride for the rest of the season.

  6. 6
    Casey
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Loved your recap! I wasn’t going to watch this show, but now I will so I can follow along with your recaps! I don’t even pretend to cook so I can’t explain why I enjoy so many of the competition cooking shows. I like the premise of this one though.

    That’s Cat’s partner? They look like sisters. I want two mommies too!

  7. 7
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 5:49 am

    Cat Cora is MILFalicious! (I want two mommies too. But perhaps not in the way others were thinking.)

    Fucking Chaz. If you want to do yoga, good for you. It’s not a fuckin’ way of life. Keep your humble, respectful, showy little bows to yourself, yogasshole. Say “namaste” to me and I swear I’ll make one of your eyeballs leak.

  8. 8
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Foggy!! Thanks for the great first recap of this show. I am intrigued by this show, love Cat Cora and Curtis Stone as hosts. Done the nice comment thang, now time to snark…

    Chefs I am getting DIAF vibes on already: Cheven: (really, dude? You made your renaming a concept, did you? How does chedouche sound?), Nookie: another reason to absolutely loathe the Red Sox. I was hoping for a collapse in the streets (something that the Red Sox are familiar with…bada bing!) . And cramming food and drink like that while you are running through the streets seems to a recipe (get it?) for upchucking. That said, the blood sausage dish and Pimm’s Cup looked good to me. I don’t know why quaffing a beer down took precedence over knowing what a steak and kidney pie tasted like. I put that solely at the feet of the Nookie! ;)

    I don’t dislike the Chazz yet. He took charge of the kitchen, so I would tell the others to quit their bitching! Somebody had to do it, and I thought it was hilarious how huffy they got about it. Don’t some of them work in restaurant kitchens?

    Well, I look forward to the show and the recaps!

  9. 9
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    Cat Cora and her partner look so alike. For a minute, I was trying to figure out if someone had photoshopped two different pictures of her into one. I feel bad for her though because I feel like if the ground opened up and swallowed her in the middle of filming, nobody would have noticed. It’s pretty much the Curtis Stone show, which I don’t mind because he is like a sexual eucalyptus tree. I want to be the koala living in his branches.

    Cheven is such a pathetic loser. He should just admit it and get help for his condition, instead of pretending to be some badass. The look on his face when Chaz took credit for his bread pudding idea had me rolling. He looked like a flamingo in the headlights of a Mack truck.

    And the chefs on the red team are the stupidest group of idiots I have ever seen. I like them more because all the assholes seem to have congregated on the black team, but they are dumb. Why did they let Nookie play them like that? I don’t feel that bad for Clara though because she is also stupid. Why talk to Nookie? Why not talk to that skinny asian girl (don’t even remember her name)? It would be like talking to a tree…nobody would ever know what she said. But no, she went and talked to a blimp, who of course broadcasted her shit all over the place.

    P.S. I love Sweet Genius. It doesn’t make any sense, but that is my show. And it’s a good way to end a terrible date. Just take your date’s hand, look longingly into his/her eyes, and smile just like Ron Ben-Israel while saying, “You belong in my world of desserts”.

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