Bachelor Pad 3 Recap- Boobs and Baseball

Recaps

By Jane and Blanche | Thursday, August 16, 2012 | 9:44 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Bachelor Pad, Recaps

Gosh we miss Guy Smiley

HHHeeelllloooooo, our Gasmii friends! It’s time to recap episode 4 of Bachelor Pad 3, 2 days late and 1 dollar short…

This game show begins with a game show… Is there a more technical term for what we’re caught in here?  Chris Harrison tells us that it’s a Gameshow Mashup. No, that’s not it…oh, that’s what they’re playing? Let’s go!

A questionnaire is handed out to the cast and they are told to be brutally honest. Kalon tells us that the questions are all along the lines of “Who’s the ugliest? Who’s the smartest? Who’s the fattest? Which means all the answers will be either me or Erica.”  HA! Oh, Kalon, we are behind you 100%. These questionnaires are going to be used in a ‘who-said-what’ game along with other trivia questions.

The guy and girl with the best scores get a rose and the worst scores get a vote.

The girls are up first and they are asked some general trivia questions before Harrison brings out the big guns. Which didn’t turn out to be that big, story of our lives… The guys weren’t all that catty with their answers so no tears this round. Chris B. cheers on Sarah instead of his partner, Blakeley and Blakeley looks like she might come unhinged, “We were supposed to be partners until the end but this kinda throws up a red flag.” Aaaannd so begins the delusional part of the day. “Kinda” good grief these women are thick!

The end comes down to a tie breaker between Sarah and Jaclyn- Jaclyn wins so she gets the rose.  They kind of forget to tell us who lost before they bring up the boys. Oh well, it almost doesn’t matter at this point.

There’s no hugging in game shows! 

 Some of the ladies are nervous because their answers were “pretty honest”  Did they think that the answers were going to be locked in a time capsule to be read 20 years from now?  Some of these girls need to turn in their tits, if they can’t wear them with honor, then they don’t get to keep them.   

Ed is doing pretty well during the first round. Somebody get him a pair of tits. But David is falling way behind. Most of these questions are Bachelor related trivia- what kind of Super Fan loses at Bachelor trivia? WTF? We’re over him now. The second round is all personal, emotional type questions so of course Ed wins, the big girl that he is.

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We grew up on the prairie; Blanche is older and became blind by her teenage years... Jane is the adorable younger sister, known as "half -pint." Ok, so that's not true but we were raised in Texas, so kinda close.

We're all grown up now and are official card-carrying members of the Asshole Social Society, it's kinda like an exclusive country club, but for snarky  people who have no money, and would rather stay home talking to the tv than to other people.

Growing up we fought like crazy but only during the commercials... Now we're sisters that love and respect each other, only on the 8's tho (kinda like the weather channel...)

We love all reality tv and meat products.

We will try to make you laugh but a majority of the time we just make ourselves laugh so you may get a raw deal.

People love us! At least to our face they do, which is proper southern etiquette .

12 Comments

  1. 1
    SuburBint
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Mauve. Mauve is the most pathetic color.

  2. 2
    Angela
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    I don’t really get the Blakely hate. I think she is just into the game and wanted Chris to be committed to her as a partner in the game and not anything else. And I like that she doesn’t suffer his crap now that she knows the score.

    As for Jamie, oh my! So uncomfortable to watch. Cringeworthy.

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    In that photo of Ed & Jaclyn, she looks like Hatchet-Face from “Cry-Baby”. As smarmy as Ed is when he drinks, he was pretty cute on that date. That was a pretty cool date, I’m betting it was one of the more expensive dates. Renting a baseball stadium is expensive.

    This whole thing about having a partner is just dumb. They are not eliminated as a pair, this last challenge was not done as a pair, so why are they so hung up on the random partner assignments from the very first episode? I think Michael has the right approach, he is actually using it to find someone he connects with, not someone that will help him get more screen time and publicity.

    Why do the girls all act like dogs around Chris? I don’t mean like a b**** or looking like a dog. They are like loyal dogs, the dog doesn’t really care if you hang out with another dog as long as you give it some love. But give another dog a treat/cookie, your dog will get a little jealous but then forget all about it again when you give it a scratch behind the ear.

  4. 4
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    Hi guys, Jane here:)

    @SuburBint, mauve is very pathetic indeed. especially since that was the color of Jamie’s face from crying constantly.
    @Angela,…. I just had the same convo with Blanche last night while we were writing this! I said the same thing “she’s a strong girl with an opinion, what’s wrong with that?” Blanche pointed out that she has whined this whole time wanting both Chris as a partner and a paaaaarrrrrtner. Her point was valid so I let her win. lol. I would’ve fought harder for blakeley IF she only would’ve said to america off screen “he’s a douche. I’m playing him”
    As for Jamie… sigh. we had to pause the DVR several times to go throw up. just shaking our head sad.
    @carol, I told Blanche I would’ve chosen Ed for the date too. he’s funny and cute. meh.

  5. 5
    leenie
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    I have watched all incarnations of the Bachelor franchise for years and I have never been so saddened by the way Jamie behaved. I try to never take these shows seriously, but I felt so bad that this is what is being represented and exploited. That girl seriously needs therapy. Something really effed up happened to her.

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    If Henry from Secret Life Of The American Teenager isn’t careful he’s going to end up looking just like Ed.

    It looked to me like Ed was real into the sportsball date. But not into Rachel. But with all of her voice overs she reminded me of how Jamie goes on about Lizard guy.

    So now Jamie’s gone maybe Rachel’s going to be the new Delusiona.

    I miss the Wonder Twins. (-_-;)

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    I don’t watch the show, so I had to google Chris to find some clear pictures of him in an effort to figure out what all the fuss was about. I still don’t get it. He has big teeth and an unattractive smile. I couldn’t see anything physically appealing about him at all, and from your recaps it sounds like he wears his douchiness on his sleeve. So why are these girls fawning all over him?

    Although they all act like girls, I was surprised by that last screen shot of Jamie. From your description of her, I was expecting a young twenty something, someone whose youth could at least partially explain her naivete. But she looks older than me, and I’m pushing 40! All of these people need serious help.

    And as much as I enjoy your recaps, I can’t share your Kalon love. I have no love for sociopaths.

  8. 8
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Re: Kalon- We have always loved the bad boy ;)

    Re: Ages- we think they are all lying about their ages. The age issue is why we don’t let Blakeley and Jamie off the hook for their behavior. They are definitely old enough to know how to at least act like an adult.

    Re: Partners- we shout at the TV each week about this issue. They have not had the same partner in any game so far and they don’t get kicked off together so what’s the big deal? Is it just to annoy the viewers?

  9. 9
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 6:28 am

    @J&B – great recap, I could only skim this episode, I’m impressed you turned it into a fun read!

    I’m so glad you pointed out that the fan knew the least Bachelor trivia. I thought it was funny that for all the dissing the cast did towards the “gross fans” they all knew little minutiae of seasons going back decades! Kinda shows who has no life and hangs on this franchise like it’s the only thing that validates their existence!

    Blanche is right, Blakely did correct her course but she’s got some good crazy going. You can also refer back to her multiple meltdowns, luggage room crying and scrapbook-making from her season for further evidence. It’s easy to see her as strong compared to the extreme psychosis of Jamie though. If Blakely knows what’s good for her she’d go everywhere with that girl.

    @Lizbot – Chris is odd looking to me too. I get why he could be seen as handsome but coupled with his personality he looks literally like a weasel to me. Specifically the villain weasels from Who Framed Roger Rabbit

  10. 10
    winks523
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 7:29 am

    I have been saying that Jaclyn looks like HATCHETFACE since her season with BEN!!!!

  11. 11
    Helena Handbasket
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 8:21 am

    To me, Chris has always had a definite Randy Quaid vibe about him…not sure why exactly. I still feel bad for Jamie – I hope she does find a way to dig her self-esteem out of the crapper.

  12. 12
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 8:35 am

    I can’ t stand Kalon or Chris…they are both into themslves and evil! Thank god Emily was smart enough to see through them and kicked them to the curb..is it possible when they hit the curb they hit their heads? Because they both think way too much of themselves..my money is on Chris going home next week..his cockiness..and his stupidly will work against him..telling people his plans??? plus he is the new guy..

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