Bachelor Pad 3 Recap- Boobs and Baseball

Recaps

By Jane and Blanche | Thursday, August 16, 2012 | 9:44 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Bachelor Pad, Recaps

The next thing that happens is THE best part of this whole series past, present or future. Sarah throws a roundhouse kick and clips Chris in the face. Yes, Chris, sometimes Kharma is a bitch wearing hot pink panties.

They usually slap me after the date.

Back at the house, Chris Harrison arrives to tell Ed he gets to give out another rose as well. Which means that Sarah doesn’t get a rose. But she does get to take off her hot pink panties and spend the night at the hotel with Chris.  Sarah believes this means that Chris is going to make a great partner and he will be loyal to her. Why? What has he done so far to make anyone believe he could be loyal or trustworthy?  We’re just baffled by the lack of strong women on this show. Fantastically, there is only 1 room left at the hotel and oddly enough Chris has his credit card and ID on him. Chris is excited to have traded in Jamie and Blakeley in for a new smoother and nicer Sarah and he loves that new car smell. Ew, just ew.

Ed decides to give his rose to Rachel to hold the alliance together. 

So now the rest of the cast starts the mad dash to stay in the house.

Blakeley and Jamie confront each other with their versions of the truth and neither of them believe the other. Jamie “can’t wait for Chris to get home so she can tell him all about what Blakeley said.” She continues on, saying that he has all the qualities she’s looking for in a husband, he’s the perfect man and she’ll be crushed if their relationship doesn’t work. Just when we thought she couldn’t get worse…Chris and Sarah come home and he ignores Jamie so now we get to hear “angry” Jamie tell us that she doesn’t know how he sleeps at night. Well, Jamie, he sleeps with lots of women.

David already has a vote against him and has landed on a strategy, convince the girls to get rid of Nick. Rachel has agreed to vote for Nick if it goes 50/50. Jamie agrees to vote for Nick then promises Nick she’ll vote for David. Erica says David already has a vote and he’s a fan so he’s out. Does all of the cast have those crystal gavels? Why does she bring it in with her each week? Does she think it’s a hairbrush? Somebody please get her a hairbrush!

Chris is on the other side of the forest trying to convince all the guys to vote for Blakeley. Michael tells him that it’s an emotional choice instead of a strategic choice and warns him to be careful when going against the alliance.

Wrong Mike.

Ed is worried about Chris. He’s not thinking with his head and that’s not good. Ed believes that Blakeley and Chris could easily “coexist” in the house if Chris would just relax and concentrate on the game.  We bet Ed is the best hippie at the love in.

Ed’s favorite bumper sticker. 

Kalon gets called out on his game of deception. He says that he tells everyone what they want to hear. He has told 17 lies that evening alone but he would never lie to Lindzi so go with whatever she tells them and our hearts melt when he votes for Jamie; exactly what he told Lindzi he would do. We can’t say often enough how firmly we are on Team Kalon.

Chris is very confident that he is a leader and everyone will naturally follow him so say good-bye to Blakeley.

Cut to the Rose Ceremony where it gets down to David and Nick, Jamie and Blakeley. Chris Harrison doesn’t play it out too long before he announces Blakeley and Nick will be staying.

DOH!

Jamie and David say their good-byes. Jamie tries to call out Chris for how he treated all the girls. He calls her a fool and she walks sadly to the limo. And cries. Again. She is drained from the whole experience. Finally something we agree with her about.

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We grew up on the prairie; Blanche is older and became blind by her teenage years... Jane is the adorable younger sister, known as "half -pint." Ok, so that's not true but we were raised in Texas, so kinda close.

We're all grown up now and are official card-carrying members of the Asshole Social Society, it's kinda like an exclusive country club, but for snarky  people who have no money, and would rather stay home talking to the tv than to other people.

Growing up we fought like crazy but only during the commercials... Now we're sisters that love and respect each other, only on the 8's tho (kinda like the weather channel...)

We love all reality tv and meat products.

We will try to make you laugh but a majority of the time we just make ourselves laugh so you may get a raw deal.

People love us! At least to our face they do, which is proper southern etiquette .

12 Comments

  1. 1
    SuburBint
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Mauve. Mauve is the most pathetic color.

  2. 2
    Angela
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    I don’t really get the Blakely hate. I think she is just into the game and wanted Chris to be committed to her as a partner in the game and not anything else. And I like that she doesn’t suffer his crap now that she knows the score.

    As for Jamie, oh my! So uncomfortable to watch. Cringeworthy.

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    In that photo of Ed & Jaclyn, she looks like Hatchet-Face from “Cry-Baby”. As smarmy as Ed is when he drinks, he was pretty cute on that date. That was a pretty cool date, I’m betting it was one of the more expensive dates. Renting a baseball stadium is expensive.

    This whole thing about having a partner is just dumb. They are not eliminated as a pair, this last challenge was not done as a pair, so why are they so hung up on the random partner assignments from the very first episode? I think Michael has the right approach, he is actually using it to find someone he connects with, not someone that will help him get more screen time and publicity.

    Why do the girls all act like dogs around Chris? I don’t mean like a b**** or looking like a dog. They are like loyal dogs, the dog doesn’t really care if you hang out with another dog as long as you give it some love. But give another dog a treat/cookie, your dog will get a little jealous but then forget all about it again when you give it a scratch behind the ear.

  4. 4
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    Hi guys, Jane here:)

    @SuburBint, mauve is very pathetic indeed. especially since that was the color of Jamie’s face from crying constantly.
    @Angela,…. I just had the same convo with Blanche last night while we were writing this! I said the same thing “she’s a strong girl with an opinion, what’s wrong with that?” Blanche pointed out that she has whined this whole time wanting both Chris as a partner and a paaaaarrrrrtner. Her point was valid so I let her win. lol. I would’ve fought harder for blakeley IF she only would’ve said to america off screen “he’s a douche. I’m playing him”
    As for Jamie… sigh. we had to pause the DVR several times to go throw up. just shaking our head sad.
    @carol, I told Blanche I would’ve chosen Ed for the date too. he’s funny and cute. meh.

  5. 5
    leenie
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    I have watched all incarnations of the Bachelor franchise for years and I have never been so saddened by the way Jamie behaved. I try to never take these shows seriously, but I felt so bad that this is what is being represented and exploited. That girl seriously needs therapy. Something really effed up happened to her.

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    If Henry from Secret Life Of The American Teenager isn’t careful he’s going to end up looking just like Ed.

    It looked to me like Ed was real into the sportsball date. But not into Rachel. But with all of her voice overs she reminded me of how Jamie goes on about Lizard guy.

    So now Jamie’s gone maybe Rachel’s going to be the new Delusiona.

    I miss the Wonder Twins. (-_-;)

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    I don’t watch the show, so I had to google Chris to find some clear pictures of him in an effort to figure out what all the fuss was about. I still don’t get it. He has big teeth and an unattractive smile. I couldn’t see anything physically appealing about him at all, and from your recaps it sounds like he wears his douchiness on his sleeve. So why are these girls fawning all over him?

    Although they all act like girls, I was surprised by that last screen shot of Jamie. From your description of her, I was expecting a young twenty something, someone whose youth could at least partially explain her naivete. But she looks older than me, and I’m pushing 40! All of these people need serious help.

    And as much as I enjoy your recaps, I can’t share your Kalon love. I have no love for sociopaths.

  8. 8
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Re: Kalon- We have always loved the bad boy ;)

    Re: Ages- we think they are all lying about their ages. The age issue is why we don’t let Blakeley and Jamie off the hook for their behavior. They are definitely old enough to know how to at least act like an adult.

    Re: Partners- we shout at the TV each week about this issue. They have not had the same partner in any game so far and they don’t get kicked off together so what’s the big deal? Is it just to annoy the viewers?

  9. 9
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 6:28 am

    @J&B – great recap, I could only skim this episode, I’m impressed you turned it into a fun read!

    I’m so glad you pointed out that the fan knew the least Bachelor trivia. I thought it was funny that for all the dissing the cast did towards the “gross fans” they all knew little minutiae of seasons going back decades! Kinda shows who has no life and hangs on this franchise like it’s the only thing that validates their existence!

    Blanche is right, Blakely did correct her course but she’s got some good crazy going. You can also refer back to her multiple meltdowns, luggage room crying and scrapbook-making from her season for further evidence. It’s easy to see her as strong compared to the extreme psychosis of Jamie though. If Blakely knows what’s good for her she’d go everywhere with that girl.

    @Lizbot – Chris is odd looking to me too. I get why he could be seen as handsome but coupled with his personality he looks literally like a weasel to me. Specifically the villain weasels from Who Framed Roger Rabbit

  10. 10
    winks523
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 7:29 am

    I have been saying that Jaclyn looks like HATCHETFACE since her season with BEN!!!!

  11. 11
    Helena Handbasket
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 8:21 am

    To me, Chris has always had a definite Randy Quaid vibe about him…not sure why exactly. I still feel bad for Jamie – I hope she does find a way to dig her self-esteem out of the crapper.

  12. 12
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 8:35 am

    I can’ t stand Kalon or Chris…they are both into themslves and evil! Thank god Emily was smart enough to see through them and kicked them to the curb..is it possible when they hit the curb they hit their heads? Because they both think way too much of themselves..my money is on Chris going home next week..his cockiness..and his stupidly will work against him..telling people his plans??? plus he is the new guy..

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