It’s time to discuss Tony and Blakeley’s relationship. She is in total awe of him. He’s wonderful and she’s sooooo lucky she found him blah blah blah. Anyone else feel like she gets more emotional talking about her tattoos? They announce they are moving in with each other and the cast seems very happy. Then Tony decides to tell Blakeley how he really feels with an impromptu speech obviously not approved by Blakeley and she is getting nervous- how dare he go off script? Tony gets on his knee and proposes. Of course it’s a Neil Lane ring- that means he didn’t have to pay for it.. We thought it would’ve been awesome if she would have said “is that the ring so and so proposed to so and so on the bachlor/bachelorette?” We mean come on, all these rings look alike.
please say yes. please say yes.
She says yes. Yay another successful proposal in the bachelor franchise. We give it til the end of the year.
It’s time to bring in the final 4. Each enter from a different side of the stage. Chris walks down the stairs to the stage like a wanna be Sammy Davis Jr….
Chris Harrison immediately starts asking Rachel about her relationship with Michael. She is confused why he led her on. OMG!!!! Because he is a GUY in a house called Bachelor Pad playing a GAME. Michael is just trying to squirm his way out of this segment. Rachel cries. Nick is asked how he feels about the relationship. He gives a good attempt to say his strategy. He’s stayed out of the drama. Ok he’s right he did stay out of the drama, but really he stayed out of the show as well. Come on he coasted ever week until the last 2. Did any of you guys realize he was on the show until now? Chris and Sarah are asked the questions next. Chris tells the camera his family is not impressed with him . He says his father was so disappointed with him that he wants to apologize, but in the next sentence says ‘it was a game.” While Chris tries to be sincere we are calling B.S. on his smarminess.
Dems da brakes
So Chris Harrison asks Chris if he regrets anything he’s done in the game. For a guy that just said his father was so disappointed WE were expecting to hear a “yes there are tons of things.” But what does McDouchey say “No it was a game.” Blakeley chimes in and says ” well since you are so proud of your game did it ever cross your mind that we had to vote?” Blakeley, drear, sweet hooters girl, of course it didn’t cross his mind. Does anything other than himself cross his mind? Blakeley then asks Sarah “do you really think he will share the money if you win” Chris says “don’t vote for me vote for sarah.” Wait what? vote for Sarah? Chris NOBODY on that panel wants you to get any money!!!!! They vote for Sarah you still win with half the money….That’s the whole point of this ending. For Fuck’s sake are we sound like Chris Harrison now.
The voting start and it’s an overwhelming Nick and Rachel vote. A few votes are thrown at Chris and Sarah but come on. It’s not even close.
She may not be naive anymore but her fashion sense sucks.
So Nick and Rachel are now the final couple and are whisked off by security to decide how they are going to vote. Security? Really? This isn’t the national debt they are deciding. Harrison explains if both of them pick share they split the money, sounds a given ok. If 1 of them chooses keep that person gets all the money. Hmmmm interesting. If they both choose keep the house splits the money. They poll the house and everyone but SWAT says share the money. SWAT admits he’d keep it. Jaclyn basically tells SWAT to STFU you got kicked out loser fan.
They bring Nick and Rachel back and it’s getting intense. Rachel speaks first and reminds everyone again that she wanted to leave, but stayed. She stayed to win the money. But she chose share because you “can’t win a better partner.” Ohhhh girl! We be you want to retract that statement now.
Don’t Fuck me over Nick
So now it’s Nick’s turn to reveal his decision. He goes into this whole diatribe about how well he played this game and nobody thought he would be in this position. He says nobody was ever on his team, they didn’t care what his plan was. He got there by himself and Rachel never wanted to be his partner and tried to leave him 3 times. AND that’s when he pulls out the KEEP sign…. to the shock and delight of the cast and studio audience.
What it looks like when you realize you’ve been Fucked over
Close your mouth Jaclyn (something she’s never heard)