Bachelor Pad Finale Recap- All on a Summer’s Eve

Recaps

By Jane and Blanche | Thursday, September 13, 2012 | 1:00 pm | 25 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Bachelor Pad, Recaps

It’s time to discuss Tony and Blakeley’s relationship. She is in total awe of him. He’s wonderful and she’s sooooo lucky she found him blah blah blah. Anyone else feel like she gets more emotional talking about her tattoos?  They announce they are moving in with each other and the cast seems very happy. Then Tony decides to tell Blakeley how he really feels with an impromptu speech obviously not approved by Blakeley and she is getting nervous- how dare he go off script? Tony  gets on his knee and proposes. Of course it’s a Neil Lane ring- that means he didn’t have to pay for it.. We thought it would’ve been awesome if she would have said “is that the ring so and so proposed to so and so on the bachlor/bachelorette?” We mean come on, all these rings look alike. 

 please say yes. please say yes. 

She says yes. Yay another successful proposal in the bachelor franchise. We give it til the end of the year.

It’s time to bring in the final 4. Each enter from a different side of the stage. Chris walks down the stairs to the stage like a wanna be Sammy Davis Jr….

Chris Harrison immediately starts asking Rachel about her relationship with Michael. She is confused why he led her on. OMG!!!! Because he is a GUY in a house called Bachelor Pad playing a GAME. Michael is just trying to squirm his way out of this segment. Rachel cries.  Nick is asked how he feels about the relationship. He gives a good attempt to say his strategy. He’s stayed out of the drama. Ok he’s right he did stay out of the drama, but really he stayed out of the show as well. Come on he coasted ever week until the last 2. Did any of you guys realize he was on the show until now? Chris and Sarah are asked the questions next. Chris tells the camera his family is not impressed with him . He says his father was so disappointed with him that he wants to apologize, but in the next sentence says ‘it was a game.” While Chris tries to be sincere we are calling B.S. on his smarminess. 

Dems da brakes

So Chris Harrison asks Chris if he regrets anything he’s done in the game. For a guy that just said his father was so disappointed WE were expecting to hear a “yes there are tons of things.” But what does McDouchey say “No it was a game.” Blakeley chimes in and says ” well since you are so proud of your game did it ever cross your mind that we had to vote?” Blakeley, drear, sweet hooters girl, of course it didn’t cross his mind. Does anything other than himself cross his mind? Blakeley then asks Sarah “do you really think he will share the money if you win” Chris says “don’t vote for me vote for sarah.” Wait what? vote for Sarah? Chris NOBODY on that panel wants you to get any money!!!!! They vote for Sarah you still win with half the money….That’s the whole point of this ending. For Fuck’s sake  are we sound like Chris Harrison now. 

The voting start and it’s an overwhelming Nick and Rachel vote. A few votes are thrown at Chris and Sarah but come on. It’s not even close. 

She may not be naive anymore but her fashion sense sucks. 

 So Nick and Rachel are now the final couple and are whisked off by security to decide how they are going to vote. Security? Really? This isn’t the national debt they are deciding. Harrison explains if both of them pick share they split the money, sounds a given ok. If 1 of them chooses keep that person gets all the money. Hmmmm interesting. If they both choose keep the house splits the money. They poll the house and everyone but SWAT says share the money. SWAT admits he’d keep it. Jaclyn basically tells SWAT to STFU you got kicked out loser fan. 

They bring Nick and Rachel back and it’s getting intense. Rachel speaks first and reminds everyone again that she wanted to leave, but stayed. She stayed to win the money. But she chose share because you “can’t win a better partner.” Ohhhh girl! We be you want to retract that statement now. 

Don’t Fuck me over Nick 

So now it’s Nick’s turn to reveal his decision. He goes into this whole diatribe about how well he played this game and nobody thought he would be in this position. He says nobody was ever on his team, they didn’t care what his plan was. He got there by himself and Rachel never wanted to be his partner and tried to leave him 3 times. AND that’s when he pulls out the KEEP sign…. to the shock and delight of the cast and studio audience.

What it looks like when you realize you’ve been Fucked over

Close your mouth Jaclyn (something she’s never heard) 

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We grew up on the prairie; Blanche is older and became blind by her teenage years... Jane is the adorable younger sister, known as "half -pint." Ok, so that's not true but we were raised in Texas, so kinda close.

We're all grown up now and are official card-carrying members of the Asshole Social Society, it's kinda like an exclusive country club, but for snarky  people who have no money, and would rather stay home talking to the tv than to other people.

Growing up we fought like crazy but only during the commercials... Now we're sisters that love and respect each other, only on the 8's tho (kinda like the weather channel...)

We love all reality tv and meat products.

We will try to make you laugh but a majority of the time we just make ourselves laugh so you may get a raw deal.

People love us! At least to our face they do, which is proper southern etiquette .

25 Comments

  1. 1
    considerthis
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    Wow you are being generous with Tony and Blakeley – I give it until Halloween.

    Kalon is the new sage of the Bachelor/B’lette/B Pad franchise – when he said NONE of us DESERVE the MONEY truer words have never been spoken. People whose houses burn down or sick children or animal shelters DESERVE money.

    At least the finale added some excitment to this yawner of a season.

  2. 2
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Thank you so much for this amazing recap..I said all I wanted to say in the mini recap..but I could never express what you write..great job!
    PS I give Lindzy and Kalan a few more weeks and Tony and Blakely a few weeks longer ..maybe until Christmas…
    PSS..If they break up ..do they have to give the ring back to Neil Lane???

  3. 3
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I wonder if Rachael will be the next Bachlorette?…

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    No, Rachel’s damaged goods now. No guy will ever want her now that she’s admitted to falling in love with a professional clown. Besides, those veneers of hers are just scary. Penis skin is sensitive stuff, after all.

    As for Blakely and Tony, there’s no doubt they’ll get married. Partly because most likely the Bachelor franchise will foot the bill for the wedding AND bring them back onto television (every season) AND they’ll get a spread in People magazine.

    But mostly because, let’s face it, this is Blakely’s last chance. She’s “34″ after all (yeah, right. Real age = 38?) AND an idiot with buck teeth. And he’s not exactly a prize, especially since he comes with baggage.

    So they’ll cling to each other for as long as they can, and probably squeeze out a baby (another invite back onto a Bachelor show + a photo spread in US magazine).

    I was really disappointed by this reunion. All that time wasted on Jacklyn… meanwhile, they do nothing with the whole “fans” twist ? Are they acknowledging the idea was a dud? Hmm?

    Speaking of buck-teeth veneers… I really enjoyed Nick’s little speech. But yeah. Douche.

  5. 5
    carol
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    This was a great recap. While reading it I realized something. This show is called Bachelor Pad. It is not called couple pad. And they did not make the house guests officially pair up until the final 8 or so it was more of an individual game till that point. I am guessing if they do another season of this, they will make them pair up from the start.

    As bad as Nick seemed, he played the game. He had no reason at all to share the money with Rachel. She was never nice to him until they officially won.

    Did they ever ask Ed and/or Jaclyn about their ‘relationship’? Or that fact that Jaclyn knew Ed was dating someone at home but decided she was fine with being used while they were on the show?

  6. 6
    Britty
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    @itchy – watch it with the baggage stuff…Emily “West-Virginia-Hood-Rat” Maynard is never far away. You run the risk of being rasped at in a surprisingly swanky English pub.

  7. 7
    melange
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    I don’t think Bachelor Pad will ever officially make people pair up ’till nearly the end, so there’s lots of time for random hookups and shenanigans and betrayal.

    I find the misogyny on this show very annoying. Jacklyn is afraid of being a “whore” and “used” while Ed does whatever he wants without any names attached. Aren’t they using each other? Isn’t Ed actually the nasty one for f’ing around with Jacklyn while he has a girl back home?

    Blakely acts like she got the consolation prize. I feel a little sorry for Tony, except that he’s clearly just thinking with his junk. Blakely’s “And he’s got cable!” bit was funny, though.

    Jamie needs to find herself a nice rich geek so they can sit around and be socially awkward together.

    I’m sure ABC will try to bring back Nick next season for a “retribution” storyline. He would be better off saying hell no. Take your douchey money and run, Nick!

  8. 8
    brzysmom12
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Unfaced shouter-outer. Just beautiful. Favorite thing to come out of all this fustercluck. <3

  9. 9
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 1:15 am

    Great recap!

    Loved this episode and loved that someone finally chose not to share. I kind of thought they would both go that way and the losers would get the split for once, also would have been a cool ending.

    I applaud Nick, he may have done an unpopular thing, but I loved how he broke ranks. The whole clique-ness of former Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants is so obnoxious. The “Pad” crew are basically the losers that weren’t interesting or wholesome enough to be headliners and so get thrown into an STD pit to perform dumbed-down American Gladiator challenges for our amusement and derision. And they happily gobble it up and proclaim disdain for “fans”. Get over yourselves. Right after you get over that screaming case of syphilis.

    I have to say after watching the first two seasons, we owe this whole interesting outcome of a hated villain vs. a barely together couple to Erica Rose. That washed-up, sad, pathetic little wingless butterfly finally did what every group should have done in breaking up the cool kids’ alliance and letting some oddballs in tot he winners’ circle. Results? Hilarity!

    PS The nail has been hit in the proverbial head. Blakely and Tony are long-term. She is firmly settling for the stable nice guy who worships her because her music stopped about three years ago and there is a paucity of chairs available. Enter lucky Tony who will never be with anyone hotter. Win (sad horns) win.

  10. 10
    Tally
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Are we just not going to talk about how ugly Blakeley’s dress is?

  11. 11
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:40 am

    It seemed like old news becasue she wore it several times during the season

  12. 12
    Tally
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Yes, but it doesn’t make it any less awful. Not the kind of dress I’d want to get engaged in. Of course, I wouldn’t want to get engaged on national television to some guy I met on a reality show, but that’s just me.

    I think Rachel would be a trainwreck as a bachelorette. Like, Ashley-style trainwreck. She falls too hard too quickly.

    I think Nick’s decision might actually give Bachelor Pad a chance of coming back. The show’s ratings have been bad, but there’s definitely more buzz around it now. But I’m not holding my breath.

  13. 13
    Lisa
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 7:14 am

    I thought Nick was Great! And he wasn’t a sore winner, what else could he have said, something like: “I’m sorry Rachel but yeah, I’m keeping the money”. They would have still jumped on him with their claws out. I think it’s great that fake hypocrite Rachel (and Jacklyn and Blakely) don’t get one dime ……. at least I hope they don’t get anything. Meanwhile, I hope I never see Jacklyn’s face on my T.V. again.

  14. 14
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 7:21 am

    Sorry, we were with him up until the Tony Robbins style lecture after the reveal. We were raised to reserve the chest thumping and jumping around until after the 1st runner up has left the stage. Unless the 1st runner up is family, then all bets are off.

  15. 15
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 10:51 am

    test comment pls ignore ( I tried 2 times to make 1 that doesn’t show up. It had links the 1st time. But didn’t show up even when I took them out)

  16. 16
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 11:53 am

    That’s ok, kthxbai, wordpress hates us too…

  17. 17
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Wow it really hates me lots! I’m trying to figure out what it hates most.

  18. 18
    melange
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    According to rumors around the web, all the cast members are paid per episode. The more episodes they appear in, the more they’re paid. I’m sure bigger names (like previous Bachelor/ettes or winners, like Ed) get an additional bonus to lure them onto the show. No one walks away with nothing – that’s just pure BS.

  19. 19
    Pikey578
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 7:44 am

    I just read in the New York Post that Rachel may be taking Nick to court for half of the prize money. The premise? They had a verbal agreement (which he agreed they had) which he broke. It will be interesting to see if she takes that route and if she actually wins…

  20. 20
    carol
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 8:20 am

    @Pikey578 – what does Rachel think she is going to accomplish with that? A verbal agreement is not really going to hold up unless she recorded it (I am not in the law field, so I am not 100% sure). Even if he says he did agree, think of all the other things that were said in the house that people did not follow up on. Rachel even said she was leaving, then was talked out of it, so she broke an agreement with herself. Or all the contestants who said they would shoot themselves if such and such happened. There was no shooting this season.

    Plus, as wrong as Chris Harrison thought Nick was, the higher ups at ABC loved it because it brought in the viewers and got people talking. If she does sue and brings up everything in court, she will no doubt burn her bridges. She was in the perfect position to approach ABC and ask to be on the next season. But if she wins her court case (highly unlikely) she will not go back onto the show.

    I wonder what would have happened if Rachel had picked keep and Nick had picked share.

  21. 21
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 9:12 am

    @Pikey578 I bet the lawyer that talked her into that will make partner!

  22. 22
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    @pikey578 NO WAY?!!! LOL Christ, get a grip reality assholes!
    Chris tweeted saying if they had won they were gonna donate 1/2 the money…..
    Riiiiiitttteeeeee……..

  23. 23
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    You’d think they’d cover this possibility in the contracts these idiots have to sign, something to the effect of “candidates agree not to make agreements about the prize money prior to the show” and that “candidates agree that only the ‘keep’ or ‘share’ decisions made during the course of the incredibly drawn-out finale will be binding”.

  24. 24
    carol
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 12:09 am

    @itchy – don’t they have that in the Survivor contract? Also in the contract for The Amazing Race I thought they had something in there that they aren’t allowed to say they are on TAR to cabbies/locals/etc. Of course those are CBS shows and Bachelor/etc is an ABC show.

  25. 25
    Danielle
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    This was a game. You are free to say whatever you want in a game! C’mon. Verbal agreement my ass.

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