Let’s ALL be twins!
Hola Gasmii! Have no fear! We are here…to recap Bachelor Pad… Lame? Sorry. We are going to be honest, guys, we have never watched Bachelor or Bachelorette. At least not more than Joel McHale showed us on The Soup. And we haven’t watched the two other seasons of Bachelor Pad either so we had no idea what to expect.
HOLY SHITBALLS! LOVE IT! Monday nights are now our favorite night of the week!
We were just put on the case and we know we missed last week so let’s do a minicap:
Skin is in!
We were introduced to a bunch bitter men and women and watched Chris Harrison throw some fresh meat into the cages.
Here are the house guests (info from ABC’s website):
Lindzi Cox, (“The Bachelor” Season 16, Ben Flajnik) Occupation: Development Manager Age: 27 Residence: Bellevue, WA
Blakeley Jones, (“The Bachelor” Season 16, Ben Flajnik) Occupation: Esthetician Age: 34 Residence: Charlotte, NC
Sarah Newlon, (“The Bachelor” Season 11, Brad Womack) Occupation: Bar Manager Age: 28 Residence: St. Louis, MO
Jamie Otis, (“The Bachelor” Season 16, Ben Flajnik) Occupation: Registered Nurse Age: 25 Residence: New York, NY
Erica Rose, (“The Bachelor” Season 9, Prince Lorenzo Borghese) Occupation: Law Student Age: 29 Residence: Houston, TX
Jaclyn Swartz, (“The Bachelor” Season 16, Ben Flajnik) Occupation: Account Manager Age: 27 Residence: Newton, MA
Rachel Trueheart, (“The Bachelor” Season 16, Ben Flajnik) Occupation: Executive Assistant Age: 27 Residence: New York, NY
Brittany and Erica Taltos, (super fans) Occupation: Students Age: 22 Residence: Gainesville, FL
Paige Vigil, (super fan) Occupation: Jumbo Tron Operator Age: 24 Residence: New York, NY
Donna Zitelli, (super fan) Occupation: Student Age: 22 Residence: Hackensack, NJ
Ryan Hoag, (“The Bachelorette” Season 4, DeAnna Pappas) Occupation: High School Dean/former NFL player Age: 32 Residence: Minneapolis, MN
Kalon McMahon, (“The Bachelorette” Season 8, Emily Maynard) Occupation: Luxury Brand Consultant Age: 27 Residence: Houston, TX
Nick Peterson, (“The Bachelorette” Season 7, Ashley Herbert) Occupation: Trainer Age: 27 Residence: Tampa, FL
Tony Pieper, (“The Bachelorette” Season 8, Emily Maynard) Occupation: Lumber Trader Age: 30 Residence: Portland, OR
Reid Rosenthal, (“The Bachelorette” Season 5, Jillian Harris) Occupation: Realtor Age: 33 Residence: Philadelphia, PA
Michael Stagliano, (“The Bachelorette” Season 5, Jillian Harris, “Bachelor Pad 2″) Occupation: Entrepreneur Age: 27 Residence: Sherman Oaks, CA
Ed Swiderski, (“The Bachelorette” Season 5, Jillian Harris) Occupation: Technology Consultant Age: 33 Residence: Chicago, IL
Chris Bukowski, 25, Corporate Sales Director, “Bachelorette” Season 8
Chris Bain (super fan) Occupation: SWAT Team Officer Age: 28 Residence: Canton, GA
David Mallet (super fan) Occupation: Real Estate Agent/MMA fighter Age: 28 Residence: Hoboken, NJ
5 (well 6 if you count the twins and we really don’t want to) super-fans of the shows Bachelor and Bachelorette are competing this season. Two guys (David and SWAT) and three ladies (Paige, Donna and the twins, who only count as one vote).
There are all the standard introductions and limo arrivals, except for Kalon who drove up in his own car, threw Chris Harrison the keys and said, “Park it close.”
David and the twins are a team and win the first challenge which is great for them. Then David gets brutally honest with Erica Rose about wanting to vote her off which is not so great. We are all for honesty guys but hell hath no fury and all… So all the castmates conspire to get rid of the “newbies” except for Donna because she walks around half-naked…
SWAT and Paige get voted off the island…wait, no, where are we? They don’t get roses and have to leave immediately. Reid is sad because he liked Paige but he hates Ed more so the fun is just beginning.
Nice guy Chris, is really a jerk who will “do whatever it takes to win the money.” And jerk, Kalon, is actually kinda funny in a mean, sadistic kinda way. What bizarro world has ABC thrust us into? Blakeley is über cray cray and Ed gets über drunk. Nobody’s naked…yet…so let’s get onto the next episode!
We start with Erica promising to make David’s life miserable. Or maybe this was her online dating video? It would explain why she’s still single…