Emily and Joe share a romantic dinner in the dining room where the discuss where they see themselves in 5 years, and it’s weird, because Joe doesn’t explain his life plan as marrying Emily and raising a million kids with her Emily is suspicious of his intentions. SPOILER ALERT: he’s here for Jef, ok just kidding. Emily suggest to up the ante they put some of their hopes and dreams in the love clock, a clock that people put pieces of paper in. Joe write some wish that he hopes to come back there with Emily’s parents and her daughter, provided it’s on their dime. Emily writes some crap about hoping her dreams come true and that Ricki can finally lose those 8 pounds. That love clock must have been a few minutes slow because although there is a rose on the table Emily tells Joe that she’s just not feeling it, let’s be honest, he’ll be fat in 5 years. She asks Joe to pack his bags and leave. As lonely Emily cries on her balcony Joe is probably meeting up with Lerone to bag some hoes in the UNO’S next to the Charlotte Holiday Inn.
Emily arrives back at the mansion where she teams up with her sidekick Harrison for some ELIMINATION TIME BITCHES. They are shocked to see Joe has gone, perhaps one of them could say a line like “this is a real game changer”, but no. Emily hands out her roses as follows:
Remember Jef and Ryan are safe because Jef is gay and will never like Emily and Ryan knows how to sit in hot car for 45 minutes and watch a soccer field of children.
Kalon, Arie (alive race car driver), Michael (Rehab counselor who can proll score Em that adderall when Ricki runs out), Nate, Sean, Chris, Doug, Travis, Tony, John aka WOLF, Alessandro (who apparently when the mansion was boring let Nate give him a spray tan), Charlie, Alejandro, Stevie.
We say so long to AARON, and Kyle, and hell maybe someone else. Aaron takes it like a champ, he’s a bio teacher, you think that salery is going to help get Ricki the years of counseling she will need when the eating disorder surfaces?
Kyle cries a little which is totally normal considering he just got his ass dumbed on reality television and had to say lines like, “this just got REAL” in front of millions of people.
So there ya have almost 2,000 words of Miss Maynard, and now I have about 2,000 things I have put off! This show is a work out, but as Emily shows us, so is love, and so is Ricki’s 5 am fitness routine.
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