Time to rejoin the nut nuts again. Let’s see what’s up!
We find the bitches still talking/screaming about Shannon putting Rocky in bed with Creepo Jerry. Charlie is pissed, Paula is pissed and Rocky is so pissed she’s crying. All Shannon can say is she put her in bed with him so she could be safe.
Does she look like she feels safe??
Rocky tells her she was safe where she was and the others start yelling again. Charlie in particular tells Shannon, hence forth to be known as Bluto, that that shit was messed up and she better be glad she is drinking and doesn’t want to spill it. Bluto runs for the hills. Or her bedroom.
Charlie wants to turn the place into a boxing ring so they can scrap this shit out. Rocky says she is going to have to address this shit but she is glad everyone had her back, even the ones that don’t like her. They knew that shit was wrong.
The next morning Rocky starts feeling bad for Bluto and the ambush she endured. She tells us she is still a little iffy about the Jerry situation but it’s not like the other girls are trustworthy either.
Rocky talks to Bluto and she likes Bluto and thinks she is a cool girl. She wants to talk to her and find out who she is……….
She’s a skank ass bitch who could have gotten you raped. Does that clear up who she is?
The others see Bluto and Rocky bonding and they think it’s bullshit.
DJ Cypha calls and asks that the girls get down to the club. Shrek has errands to run so she doesn’t go. Everyone is all, “WHAT? Why aren’t you going?” She says she has “errands” to run. Either she doesn’t like black people or she’s having genital warts removed.
The girls go meet DJ Cypha and he tells them he needs a DJ and an Emcee and he will bring them up two at a time to take turns. Rocky says she’d rather be a groupie and he says, “OH Lord!” Anyway he will chose who performs best and then they get to perform live for him. YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Charlie and Shannon are up first and Charlie jumps in straight away while Bluto just sorta stands there and mumbles shit. Paula and Jenn are up next and there’s lots of screaming. Next is Rocky and Jenn. In the end Cypha chooses MC P. Paula y’all! She’ll have Pretty P on her mic. Steph wins DJ y’all!!
That night at the house while getting ready in the Miracle Room, the subject turns to Jenn’s sorta boyfriend Scott. Even though he broke up with her, he still seems to think they are together. She says he doesn’t back down and neither does she. He’s coming to visit so this should be loads of fun.
Off they go for sushi and then the Havana Club. Rocky is sure Jenn will get a snootful and start some shit with her but she’s ready for her.
As they are walking out the door Bluto announces she isn’t wearing underwear so anyone behind her should watch out. Bitch contain your snail trail!
At Ru Sans they are LOUD and drinking Sake. Jenn tells us that at first she feels good but after drinking for a bit she starts thinking about shit and then lookout. Thanks for the warning, we had no clue you were a belligerent ass drunk.
Enjoy the happiness while you can.
By the way, in case anyone was wondering, I’ve been told that BGC Atlanta was filmed in Buckhead.
Back to the show.
Charlie asks what time it is and Rockey tells her it’s 10:25. For some reason this pisses Jenn off. Jenn says, “She’s such a good assistant.” Paula tells her ass not to start. Rocky walks off and Jenn yaps about how she’s going home and straight to bed or Rocky will irritate her. Go fuck a slug bitch.
In the limo, Jenn tells everyone she’s trying to be above the situation because she already has a problem with one of these bitches. If you were trying to be “above it all” you’d have kept your yap shut.
Rocky agrees because this ain’t the night for fighting. This pisses Jenn off even more who basically tells her to shut it. The crazy bitch starts screaming that she’s irritated and taking herself out of the situation. Jenn yells, “Shut the fuck up before I reach over and rearrange your motherfucking face!”
That’s the angriest Eclipse I’ve ever seen.
Jenn hops up and just keeps repeating, Shut the fuck up!. Rocky gets out at the Havana Club while everyone tries to calm the nutcase. Rocky just stands outside the limo laughing and shaking her head. Jenn finally decides maybe she should
see a shrink go on home because she’s just so angry. Steph tells us that Jenn is constantly mad and she’s over it.
At Havana Rocky and Bluto are dancing up on each other much to the dismay of the other twits. Especially Shrek who thinks it’s horrible after what Bluto did to Rocky with Jerry.
Meanwhile Jenn heads home, staggers out of the limo and heads inside to call her boo.
All Jenn does is bad talk the new girl. Suddenly Jenn is pissed at Scott, the boyfriend because he breathes or something. She tells him not to irritate her. He’s all like “All I did was say yes.”She yells at him because he’s not conversating to her standards and she says she wants him to come and leave his
personality/opinions/thoughts at home where they belong.
He tells her he loves her but she’s trippin’.
Meanwhile the others are in the limo on the way home and the subject is Jenn’s crazy ass. At the house the girls scatter. Paula goes and yaps at Jenn and Bluto grabs Rocky. She tells her that together they can run solo and be strong. And for the 900th time Bluto says, “Bitch I was born alone and I’ll die alone.” No bitch I’m pretty sure your Mom was there when you were born and I can guarantee a few hobos and crackheads will be around when you croak.
Rocky tells us that things change in that house everyday but she knows Bluto has her back. REALLY??? Does she have amnesia or is she just stupid?
Bluto tells us that of course the other girls don’t like Rocky. She is taking the eyes off them and they look like a potato sack.
Actually they look like someone barfed in a potato sack.
The next day DJ Cypha calls and tells Paula he has a gig for them. Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! He’s got a RSVP,table,champs and other goodies at Luxe Lounge for them tonight. He just needs Paula and Steph in full on DJ and MC mode! Paula says she is thrilled and with her as MC and Steph as DJ they cannot lose! Screams abound!
Meanwhile in the backyard, Bluto is giving lame fighting tips to Rocky. What to do when someone has you by the hair? Well you scream and cry for Mommy. Or you ram yourself forward instead of pulling away, and continue ramming until they either fall off a steep as ravine or until you split their skull on a brick wall. I might have added that last part.
Couldn’t you just grab the bitches wrist and twist until it snaps? Or grab her other hand and shove her gross ass cigarette into her thigh. Or kick her in the cooter and when she bends over punch her lights out. Believe me, she’ll let go.
Not sure what this next move is……….. Oh I get it. Lick them until they surrender. Flipit made me and chooch do that. He said it was for our own safety..hmmmmm.
Rocky says Bluto is the only one who has had her back so why should she believe anything they say. Uh, because she put you in bed with the Crypt Keeper when you were drunk and naked……….ring a bell?
Charlie tells us that Rocky is new and she’s being brainwashed by Bluto because she doesn’t have a mind of her own. She’s not much newer than you are and you can’t do shit without Shrek so suck it Charlie! She goes on to say she’s not called “Dumb as a rock Rocky for nothing.” Yeah and I don’t call you Charlie Murphy for nothing. Google your twin bitch.
Oh hell it’s Jenn’s on again off again boo. Yay.
Hope he brought Prozac and tranquilizer darts.
Even though she is giggling like a loon, she tells us she’s a 7-10 happy to see him. Please say that to his face. She introduces Scott around and Bluto hopes this will keep Jenn occupied so she won’t be harassing Rocky. Yeah well if frogs had wings they wouldn’t bump their asses on the ground.
Out by the pool Scott starts complaining that he just doesn’t feel that energy that he usually feels around her. She says he says that all the time. Here’s a thought, take a hint bitch.
Even though their relationship is up in the air, she wants to get laid. In the shower. So that’s what they do. But not without a few peepers.
Damn girl get a porno like most self respecting perverts.
Stephanie joins the peepfest as does Paula. They gawk, giggle and run. Rocky starts into the bathroom, sees what’s going on and backtracts only to get halfway down the hall, turn around and then mumble she doesn’t know where to go. WTF? Did they have a farm animal in there? So people are fucking, get a grip.
By the way,
Actual water after Jenn’s shower.
Outside by the pool, Rocky is talking shit about Jenn and then says to Bluto that someone needs to go home cause she wants a new girl. Rocky warns that Jenn will NOT get another chance from her.
While the other girls head to Luxe Lounge, Jenn stays home with her boytoy. Charlie says she is the hypeman and she is on nipple alert. So if you see her nipples be sure to be wearing protective goggles in case of an eclipse or eye poke.
After the twits leave, Jenn and Scott head to confessional. He says some shit and then she is on top of him.
Pretty sure that works better without clothes.
Off to Luxe Lounge. Some dance, some have seizures. They all drink. Steph is DJ and Paula is MC. Paula seems right at home but Steph is lost. DJ Cypha keeps telling her what to do but she cannot figure it out. Did anyone bother to ask if she’d done it before?
Eventually she gets the hang of it and then later we see this guy.
Ask me another stupid question and find out.
Seems the night was a success and they all head home happy and drunk. Once inside Charlie pounces on Shrek and humps her ass.
Always make sure you have dog biscuits in your purse to ward off these attacks. That or garlic.
The next morning Scott leaves after a lot of I love yous. Jenn tells us he’s been a relationship for her and zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
In the phone room, Bluto is talking to Creepo and telling him it’s just a matter of time before one of these girls says the wrong thing to another. GrandPa Creepy tells her to just stay ready and focused. Oh never mind, I see. He wants to make sure she’s got a digital camera so she can record the fights for his porn collection so he can perform “self love” as the bitches fight.
Poor deluded Rocky just hopes Bluto really has her back. Girl the only way she’d have your back is so that she can shove you down while Gramps tries to shove his wet limp noodle in you.
Meanwhile Steph is stuck with a shitty ass on the toilet and no toilet paper. She screams for help and Paula is cracking up and then the smell hits and Paula grabs air freshener and totally bombs the hallway and bathroom. All I can say is gag.
Rocky and Bluto decides to hit the gym. For some reason Rocky brings wind chimes with her. What.Ever.
Later the other witches are of course talking about Rocky and Bluto and how they don’t get their friendship. Especially after Bluto put Rocky in bed with Gramps. They think she wasn’t as offended as she acted.
When the twits get back home, Rocky thinks they must not have gotten very drunk or they would have started something. Bluto says they cannot go out without boozing it to the hilt so just wait for it. Bluto thinks the drunks will end up fighting each other.As Bluto is puffing a cigar she tells Rocky to just let them destroy each other.
Nothing says “sexy” like a big ass stinky stogie being puffed on by a he/she.
The next night they head out to Magic City, yes a strip club. Scott, Jenn’s flavor of the week will meet them there because it’s his birthday but he has to catch the red eye out after the club.
Pole dancing,drinking,yeehawwing and fun all around. Then Scott shows up. And he’s dancing with a stripper. Here’s a hint, if your dude is a bit sketchy to begin with, don’t take his ass to a strip club in front of your friends. Send that slack fucker to Chucky Cheeses! Or, here’s a thought don’t take him anywhere.
Hey Ho, about a BDay BJ?
Jenn breaks the shit up and then lays down the law to Scott. It seems it’s ok for him to have a stripper but only one she chooses and when she decides it’s proper.
Understand that he’s going to bang everything he sees as soon as he’s free of you.
The stripper he was dancing with asks Jenn if she still wants her to dance for him and Jenn says, “NO! Fuck that shit!” Jenn wants her gone and Scott says he feels like it’s his fault and Nut Nut actually says no SHE came at me! She asked you if you wanted her to dance and you said no and she left. How is that “coming at you?” Paranoid ass needs to be fitted for a straightjacket. We see said stripper elsewhere in the club but Jenn goes to management or a bouncer and demands the bitch be thrown out.
As Rocky says, wtf is she mad at? She brought his ass to a strip club and he got a lap dance, what was he supposed to do? Stand in the corner and watch her nasty ass rub up on strippers all night? If she wants to control him maybe she needs to get him a shock cock ring.
Rocky and Jenn go to the restroom and apparently Jenn pisses all over the seat and doesn’t clean up after herself. Yes when hovering, accidents happen. BUT clean your mess up you trashy ass beast.
No it’s dew drops from heaven.
So your giant gap just leaks like that normally?
Everyone hears them arguing and Jenn tells her to shut the fuck up or she will dog her ass like she did at the house. HA! At the house she kept her cool. I wouldn’t count on that in the future you putrid skag. Next you hear Jenn screaming shit and Rocky telling her NOT to put her hands on her! Jenn comes out first and gets the hell outta dodge. Probably because she is afraid the cops are coming. In fact she jumped in a cab so fast he didn’t even say goodbye to her beloved. Sounds like someone’s running to me.
The other girls are in the limo and Rocky is laying in Charlie’s lap and seems to be crying. They keep asking her what happened.
Back at home Jenn corners Shrek and lies her ass off by saying she was minding her own business when Rocky attacked her for no reason. She does agree she hovered over the toilet and “may” have gotten a little pee on it but that Rocky just lost it and snatched her ass up. REALLY? How about wiping that shit up so that no one else has to come behind you and clean your nasty tuna stank??? This bitch is the complete opposite of a Bad Girl. When Charlie’s dumb ass asks her how she was snatched up, Jenn grabs her by the hair and jerks a knot in her head. She is playing this shit to the hilt and if these twits believe her, they are as dumb as I thought.
Shrek keeps telling her she needs to rise above and be the bigger person and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Let her piss on one of y’alls toilets and lets see what happens.
Jenn proclaims she will go home before she lets someone disrespect her. Bye Bitch!
Even Charlie is sick of Jenn’s antics and tells us it has to stop.
Meanwhile Rocky is in the Miracle Room eating pizza and calmly telling us that Jenn’s days of hitting and bullying are OVER. She tells us she has shown her mental strength but now it’s time to show her physical strength. She is DONE!
While Paula seems to be buying Jenn’s crap but lectures her on how to let things go. However, Charlie is on to Jenn’s shit and absolutely believes she was at fault. She also thinks Rocky is a weak ass bitch and would never just walk up and snatch a bitches hair.
Meanwhile Bluto and Rocky are in the pool deciding what they will do. Rocky is determined to fuck her up but it looks like we will have to wait until next week to see it. In the meantime, Shrek will leave you with some food for thought.
Two things. Get some sun and do some situps!
See ya next week,
Love & Smooches
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