Bad Girls Club: Girls Gone Ham

Warning: This show may cause high blood pressure, extreme anger, and possible diarrhea.
Before we get started, I should apologize if some of this feels rushed or out of order. I agreed to cover at the last minute and let’s face it, I was really drunk when I wrote this. Now, on with the show.
It’s everyone against Rima right now. Except for Blondie. Even though Blondie has unfortunate looking extensions and horribly fried hair (she could probably do without the extra alcohol bloat too), she is still kind of cute. More importantly, at least for now, she recognizes an abusive relationship in action and wants it to stop. It makes me kind of love her.
And, Rima? She is doing everything that a person is supposed to do in that situation – she refuses to engage and she refuses to explain herself – but is totally willing to stand up if need be.
There is just one small problem. As much as Rima did everything right in this part of the show, why the hell did she agree to do the show in the first place?
I know, that she is like the 4th person to have a child while appearing on this show. But, the judgmental part of me can’t help wondering why the hell she decided this was a good idea in the first place.
It’s one thing to show your mottled ass on a bar while being drunk with your “friends” while living in Mexico.

It’s something else when your audience can honestly make the kind of “OMG Did that really just happen” faces that have only ever been seen during the great New Jersey Christening episodes of 2010 (or was it 2011?).

Rima has been tagged as the girl that everyone picks on in the house. Blondie has been through an abusive relationship (or relationships) before and is still very wary about saying anything to anyone else about Rima’s treatment. Erika (Erica? I’m going to go with Erica because it makes the most sense) has been extremely vocal and verbally aggressive towards Rima.
I’m still not clear about what caused Erica to turn against Rima in the first place – I thought she was cool after the way she handled the girls putting condiments and shit on her face while she slept (good lord, I hope I’m talking about the right person) – I assume she was the one who was willing to give everyone a chance.
Anyway, Erica (she’s the one with bull ring in her nose right?) has been trying her best to get Rima out of the house but I’m not quite sure why there is this kind of hatred happening. All the girls, except for Blondie are strongly in Erica’s court. Blondie isn’t so much undecided so much as she is afraid. It’s obvious that she is just as afraid as she is fed up. But, the fear keeps winning out with her.
Deep down inside, Erica believes that if she shows her ass (in a different way than Rima did on the bar), the other girls will fear and possibly respect her.
She is half right. They all definitely fear her. The chunky bitch with the dark hair (Julie? Julia?) is hiding behind Erica the most.
That same chunky bitch brags so much about having started some shit that even her boyfriend calls her out on. Fat knees and bloated ankles just hanging out for all to see, she proudly talks about how she started all of this. While her boyfriend, horrified by the fact that he chose her as his girlfriend, gibbers on about her being an instigator and standing up for herself.

This is the first time in history that I have ever felt bad about myself for watching Bad Girls Club. I think that anyone who appears on a reality show is a fame whore – it’s just so damned entertaining that I can’t resist. But, Erica is gross. Maybe her wearing a bull ring in her nose had something to do with it. Or, maybe it was just how awful she was as a human being that did it for me.
Poor Blondie. She is showing every single symptom of someone who has been in an abusive relationship and has to watch another abusive relationship play out right in front of her.

These are the moments when I hate the whole reality part of reality television.
Now, instead of being able to enjoy drunk bitches fighting each other, I have to decide whether or not this is some serious shit.
I don’t want it to be serious shit because, a) it’s drunk bitches fighting; and b) I don’t want to watch a real person go through this shit.
Anyway, Jules is all about trying to prove how badass she is by poking at Rima. She pulls some moves that I haven’t seen since 5th grade. She keeps getting in Rima’s face and is all “what are you going to do?” which is funny because, it’s kind of obvious that she has nothing going on.
Even funnier, she and Rima actually get into a fight and Julie thinks she won. But, if you actually watch, except for pulling Rima’s hair and being at the top when Production finally pulls them apart, Julie didn’t land shit as far as punches or kicks go. Rima totally owned her even from the bottom. Everyone else thinks its funny, but they won’t admit that Julie was the one who took a whoopin in that fight.
After being online for a little while, Rima forgot to close her email. So, Char 2.0, egged on by the other bitches, sends a message to Rima’s boyfriend saying that she fucked 2 of his friends. What’s funny is that when he calls Rima, he doesn’t believe it and automatically knows that the house bitches are screwing around with her email.
Rima is so over this shit. While I hate that she is in the house in the first place because she has a small child at home, I love that she hasn’t let these bitches run her off.
Blondie wants Rima to know that she isn’t alone, so she takes her to the beach, just to get away from the house. Unfortunately, the other bitches sense that there might be some defection happening and decide to pull the played out “let’s put someone’s mattress in the pool.”

They throw Rima’s mattress in the pool as she and Blondie spend some relaxation time at the beach. The move is so played out that Christina is over the antics and begins to see things from Rima and Blondie’s side. While she freely admits to her part in the bullying, she isn’t quite sure why they are picking on Rima in the first place.
While Rima and Blondie are out at the beach, one of Rima’s friends calls and asks to speak to the nappy headed ho from Chicago. Of course Falen’s no account ass just makes some random remarks to the person and runs to tell the other girls what the friend said.
Erica is pissed and decides to pull another lame ass prank once Rima gets home. The second to two get back Erica is all up in their kool aid yelling and screaming. Rima, again, stays perfectly calm. While I am advocating a good ole fashioned beatdown of Erica, Rima plays the mature card. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I have to believe that Erica’s asswhooping is coming very soon.
Since the lame ass bitches have put Rima’s mattress in the pool, she and Blondie sleep on the couches. The punk asses decide to wake them up by beating pots and pans with spoons. What’s funny about this is how Rima is still practically falling asleep during Erica’s screaming tirade. Erica is so frustrated that the pots and pans aren’t having the Tanisha effect that she is practically foaming at the mouth. And still Rima doesn’t rise to the bait.

Erica then says some shit about how Rima should hang herself and that doesn’t sit well with anyone who has ever been or witnessed true bullying. Blondie gets upset and tells her how awful that is to say, especially since Blondie had a friend who did indeed hang herself. Erica is too intent upon trying to get a reaction out of Rima to notice that Blondie isn’t the only one who was put off by that remark. She tells Blondie to mind her own business as she continues her tirade. Erica reminds me of every single abusive husband/boyfriend in every single Lifetime movie that has ever aired on television.
Somehow, things calm down enough for everyone to get some sleep. Blondie still wants everyone to get along, so she arranges for them all to go salsa dancing. It’s smart too, because there is no time to think, it has to happen in the next hour. All of the girls except for Erica agree to go. Which is kind of surprising and may be a sign that they are over Erica’s ratchet-assed behavior. Nope, they are just looking forward to the opportunity to ignore Rima in a public place.
Erica is still dead set against Rima and decides that she isn’t going if Rima will be there. She keeps trying to get a rise out of Rima. Rima stays calm, even says something about how jealous Erica is. Erica finally crosses Rima’s line in the sand when she says some shit about Rima getting pregnant and being abandoned by the baby’s father.
Rima is in her face now and Erica actually seems to be backing away a bit. She keeps yelling for Rima to get out of her face. I love the fact that no one is backing Erica at this point. So, she is completely on her own. In what can only be described as the most bitch-assed of moves, Erica makes a grab for Rima’s hair.

And then the show is done.
We have to tune in next week to see the fight.
Is anyone else as disappointed in Erica as I am? When she laughed off the prank of them putting crap on her while she slept, I truly thought she had potential. Now, I just want to beat her ass myself.