We begin with Jenn arriving home first to tell Stephanie what happened and what’s about to happen. Suddenly you see Rocky come flying into the house like a bat out of hell, up the stairs to her room to change and then out to the hallway where Jenn is. They square off, shove each other and then start knocking the crap out of each other.
What a shock, Charlie jumps in like the rat she is.
Seriously, this bitch cannot have a fight on her own. She sneaks in when someone has already started some shit. Charlie and Jenn are beating on Rocky while the other girls, namely Bluto try to get Charlie’s nasty ass to but out. Everybody’s being dragged down the hall and then in comes security.
Dude better be glad he’s already bald.
I know I have said this before but remember when these bitches used to actually fight? Well not these bitches but Bad Girls in general. Now it’s all about the hair pulling. I swear it makes me want to punch the fucking wall.
When finally the security dude gets them apart, Rocky is holding up a dead squirrel.
Oops, my bad, it’s Jenn’s nasty weave.
Rocky is hopping up and down waving Jenn’s rat at her and suddenly from the other room, Charlie starts screaming, “Bitch get the fuck out dis house dawg!” in that barely audible dog whistle voice of hers and then she literally throws herself at a security dude. It’s so pathetic it’s hilarious. Bitch sit down before you hurt yourself.
Even Shrek thinks Jenn had this coming. Uh oh. Bad Girls Producer pulls Jenn aside. He tells her after reviewing the tape, Jenn kicked at Rocky and barely missed her eye. She could have blinded her so she has to leave. Really? How about when Charlie was beating her in the head while she was already fighting off Jenn? Can she go home too please?
Jenn is so pissed she doesn’t even want to say goodbye.
You should probably snatch off the other side of that weave so you don’t walk crooked.
Rocky hears this and starts laughing her ass off. and doing this.
Rocky says in confessional that Jenn lost. She can’t blame her or a pizza pocket or anyone but herself. Then we see her punch Jenn’s cutout and spit a giant wad of grossness all over her face. I could have done without that part.
Jenn tells us in confessional all the same shit they say when they get booted. I’m a Bad Girl blah blah go home. And she smiles the smile of insanity the whole time. Toodles.
The next morning we see this………
It was signed by Paula but all the other girls, except for Rocky and Bluto are wah wahing about Jenn being gone. Shrek said she was a breath of fresh air. Girl you better be glad she wasn’t breathing on you! Stephanie says she was a good friend and a good person. Yes well we all know about your people skills. Mr. BumpyDick anyone?
In the kitchen Rocky and Bluto are comparing war wounds when Bluto tells us that Charlie jumping people needs to be addressed. She tells this to Shrek who tells her not to point her finger at her. Charlie hears it and comes in looking like a hound dog and says yeah she did all that. Do something. She tells us that if a bitch deserves to get jumped she will get jumped. Oh I agree with that Charlie. I’d be watching the clock bitch.
All the dingbats get ready and head off to Primal for a wet t shirt contest. Yay!
Once there we see Derek J. Hair dresser to celebs. Or people who think they are. Atlanta Housewives anyone? He tells them he is having a show and wants them in it. Screams abound.
Time for the wet t shirt mess. Bluto, Rocky and some random chick are up against each other. Shrek and the rest just stand aside and look sick. I kinda agree with them because Bluto especially doesn’t need to be showing off those crooked ta ta’s. They really get into this shit too. No undies bending over, Rocky snacks on one of Bluto’s crookies and they are rubbing themselves like they are in a porno.
Someone get a tarp for Bluto please.
In the end the pot bellied random girl wins. Haha for a sec I had thought that was Shrek up there. Stephanie is pissed and thinks Rocky clearly won and this was rigged!
By the way, this is what Shrek wore to Primal.
I really believe she gets dressed in a dumpster.
Paula decides it’s time for her to have a sit down with Rocky and maybe get to know her better. Sounded good at the time but since Bluto was in on the convo things turn bad quick. Paula is trying to say to Rocky that she didn’t want her to think that because she was friends with Jenn that they can’t be friends. Bluto jumps in and Paula assures her she thinks Rocky capable of speaking. She goes on to explain that Bluto is fake as fuck and she has observed her to be so. When Bluto interrupts again, Paula goes apeshit.
She jumps up and screams that she’s 26 years old and done been there done that! Ok. Then she tells us that Bluto better know she don’t fucking like her ass.
Would ya like a hit of lithium to go with the crazy?
I’m not Bluto’s biggest fan either but at least I haven’t seen her jumping people. Why doesn’t she consider Charlie fucking fake?
The next day Paula tells Charlie and Shrek and crew that she had a dream, that Bluto and Rocky left because they were afraid they were gonna get jumped. LOL. Rocky already got jumped and Bluto doesn’t seem to wither too easily. Remember when I used to like Paula?
They decide to go get Rocky and have a chat with her while Bluto isn’t around. Paula goes up and wakes Rocky up and asks her to come with her. Paula notices that Bluto has trailed along too and tells her no, just Rocky. Bluto says that Rocky asked her to come. Paula asks her not to and says it’s about Rocky not her. Bluto goes and sits on the other side of the pool while the hens get to cackling.
They try their best to convince Rocky that Bluto is the boogieman but she doesn’t bite. Shrek is pissed off because one can’t do anything without the other one. Really? You mean like how you can’t do shit without the other 3???? Don’t you have a dumpster to dive in?
Now Bluto is upset and crying to Rocky about how it’s not fair that they think she puts bugs in Rocky’s ear when Rocky is the one who pointed out to her how badly she was being treated. This continues in confessional where Bluto keeps crying and Rocky hugs her and outside the confessional we see Shrek listening in. Bluto says, “When is enough enough?”
Off to Derek J’s to get their hair did.
This should be fun. For me.
These hair shows as most of you know are not just how to style hair shit. These are off the wall crazy shit dos. Derek J tells them they will all be getting weaves. yay! He then tells Stephanie that two of his girls cancelled on him for a photo shoot the next day and he wants Stephanie to do it. She screams yes!!!
Get ready to crack up……………
Hey when you see a rodent without a tail, give them one.
Charlie is whining cause her hair sux ass. Like I said, it looks right to me. She goes around talking about how everyone else’s hair is great, then we see Bluto and she’s like, well almost everyone’s is great. Derek J finishes them and it’s off to the show, But not before he also invites Rocky to be in his photo shoot. She’s all hell yeah!
Off to the show. Each girl comes onstage and does her thing.
Shrek looking like Shrek.
Derek calls this look “Nigerian Nightmare”.
I believe this ones called WTF?
By the way, Bluto came out to the sound of crickets. Everyone else got cheered. I am thinking this was some serious editing because no one would disrespect Derek J like that. Still it was funny.
Last but not least…………..
“Miss Hartly Awhore“
In the end Paula wins the award because she worked that shit and the crowd loved her. Bluto tells us that Paula better enjoy the attention because it’s the only attention she will ever receive.
Back at home Bluto goes and calls Mr. Creepy. She tells him she’s waiting for the rest of them to go to bed. That Paula has been talking a lot of shit about her. That she isn’t a challenge and she wants to knock her out cold. Bluto tells us that if Paula disrespects her one more time she will mush the shit out of her.
The next day Rocky and Stephanie are back at Derek J’s to get their hair done for the shoot the following day. He tells them he wants it to be sexual and sensual. Stephanie I think, asks if they will be naked. That’s a no. She assures him she would be and he assures her he knows. Then he asks if Paula got the skunk weave off her head. Nope. She slept in it. Cut over to the house where Paula is trying to remove it.
Bluto tells us that she has had it with Paula. She says she will give someone the shirt off her back but when pushed into a corner, she’ll snap. She heads out to the pool to exercise and talk to herself. Seriously. She tells herself to remember that she is strong, she can punch like a so and so, she has deadly legs, she looks like a quarter back. On and on. Girl has serious self esteem issues. Meanwhile Charlie and Shrek come outside and start talking about how they feel kinda bad for Bluto. Really? Even bugs don’t buy that shit because a bee comes along and chases the shit out of the bitches and it’s hilarious.
Rocky and Stephanie come back home with their new extensions and explain that it’s not fully done yet.
Meanwhile the phone rings and Charlie answers it. They ask for Rocky and Charlie says she ain’t in the house no more and hangs up. Shrek finds this hilarious.
Back outside Rocky is trying to explain to Bluto that she needs to stop trying to make the girls like her. This isn’t the Nice Girls Club. Shrek comes out to tell them she is staying home and if they are too she will be cooking. They find this as fucked up as I do.Oh gag. Stephanie has called Andre and wants him to come over and do her. He’ll be right there. She runs and tells the others that she wants them to “whore her up” and Shrek offers her a maid’s costume. What’s she gonna do? Use it as a sheet? She rejects that idea.
In confessional she and Charlie are talking about Andre’s dong. She says for the first time in her life she doesn’t want a toy she wants a b………nice penis. Charlie knows she was about to say big ass dick and makes her admit it.
Mr.BumpyAshy’s actual penis.
Andre arrives and is greeted by Bluto. Stephanie is suddenly shy and is hiding from him. She hands him a black bag. He says he’s scared. He opens it and says it’s Altoids at first and then starts laughing because it’s actually After Pussy Mints. I did not make that up.
Stephanie tells us she doesn’t know what’s going on right now cause she’s never felt this way about a guy before. Remember, she likes girls. But she says she’s having feelings for him. Off to the bedroom they go.
Downstairs Rocky calls her friend and they quickly realize that someone in the house lied and said she was not there anymore. Rocky is pissed. Suddenly Charlie appears to tell her some people called for her. She claims she didn’t take a message because they were rude. Rocky is about to lose it and says what if someone were dying? She says she would never do that to her. Charlie volunteers that she did the same thing when Bluto got calls. She doesn’t tell people about their calls if the people are rude.
Bluto gets a weird look on her face and starts cleaning shit. Rocky tells her to stop cleaning those bitches shit. Bluto claims she’s only doing it because of the flies. Rocky is mad as hell because Bluto is so weak minded that even after finding out this shit, she acts like nothing has happened.
The next morning Stephanie sends Andre on his way and then tells us that today is her photo shoot and she didn’t get any sleep because she was having sex. You should be having itching soon. Bluto and Paula are going to the shoot with them. I’m sure that will work out just fine.
In the car they discuss the fact that Andre was pissing and it was loud and went on forever. It’s official, Andre’s penis has become the star of this episode.
At Derek J’s Bluto is making small talk while Paula tells us she is trying to be nice but she is like a bomb about to go off. She goes and rubs oil on some dude and Derek J has to shoo her ass away. Finally the shoot starts.
Even Charlie says nice things about Rocky. Stephanie says the experience was amazing and she’ll never forget it.
Back at the house Stephanie calls Andre and basically they decide to be a couple. Yippie.
Charlie, Shrek,Bluto and Shannon are playing a drinking game. They seem to be getting along. Shrek yells over for Paula to come join them and Paula is not amused. In fact she tells Stephanie for the 800th time that she does not like Bluto and why would someone ask her to play a game with someone she does not like? Get over yourself already sheesh! Stephanie doesn’t want Paula to be upset and she claims she’s not but she’s not gonna tolerate Bluto when she doesn’t have to. Paula decides she should go to bed. Shrek follows and asks what’s wrong. She doesn’t want to be around Bluto. She says, “How many times you gonna allow that same person to show you who they really are before you believe it?”
You are a stank faced bitch. I believe it.
Shrek tells her that she and Charlie feel bad for Bluto and that maybe she needs a real friend to show her who she should be. Paula doesn’t give a fuck and says Bluto will smile in your face while stabbing you in the back. Paula is getting all animated now and clapping her hands and saying she hates everything Bluto does including breathing, eating and just being. Yeah we get it. You need a fucking hobby cause this shit is getting old.
Meanwhile Rocky is outside trying to tell Bluto to stop acting like a lapdog and take up for herself.
Shrek,Charlie and Stephanie continue to try to explain themselves to Paula and it just makes me think they are fucking weak because why the hell do they have to have Paula’s permission to be nice to someone?
Later all the girls are drunk as hell, except Paula and Stephanie who have gone to bed. They are laughing and getting along and Charlie tells us that Bluto and Rocky are finally being themselves and it’s nice.
Of course the drunks always end up inside waking up the sleepy ass grumps. Paula finally comes in and she is sooooooo not happy. But by now, Bluto sooooooooooooo doesn’t give a fuck.
Charlie reminds Paula that they were all awakened last night and Stephanie says if they would have told her to calm down she would have. Paula acts like she’s mad at everyone but is only yelling at Bluto. Paula says she came upstairs to go to sleep. Bluto tells her that her objective is not what actually took place. Basically she’s glad she tried to sleep and it sux that she didn’t. LOL.
The other girls are watching and enjoying because Bluto has come into her own. She tells Paula if ya snooze ya lose. What comes around goes around and other lovely things that are making Paula’s head begin to explode. Shrek tells us that she needs popcorn and “Yes! Go Shannon!” Seems everyone has jumped on the Bluto bandwagon. Except Paula who finally after Bluto yells and claps in her face, loses it.
Paula punches Bluto and it’s on. Well mostly it’s Paula with Bluto’s hair in one hand and pounding on her head with the other.
Even after security pulls them apart, Bluto keeps taunting Paula. Paula is shrieking some shit about being real “don’t get it twisted.” Bluto yells at her that the only thing twisted is her weave. Rocky is hopping up and down cheering and Bluto is saying shit left and right to keep fucking with Paula. Charlie comes and hugs Bluto she’s so happy she took up for herself.
Please don’t hurt me.
I just realized that might be the first time Charlie saw a fight and didn’t jump in. No one did as Rocky observes. Now they see Bluto will defend herself.
Shrek tries to explain to Paula that maybe she doesn’t realize it but basically she’s been a loud ass drunk too and woke people up. Paula is in no mood for logic. Shrek says that Bluto and Paula needed to fight because they had built up frustration. Stephanie chimes in that she shouldn’t let Bluto get under her skin because the one that angers you controls you. Stephanie tells us that Paula was wrong. She’s been bullying Bluto for a while and she finally snapped.
Everyone is telling Bluto she should never let anyone step on her again and she agrees. She tells us that the quiet one is always the one you should fear the most.
Until next time,
Love & Smooches,
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