Bad Girls Club Recap: Molly-Whopped

Recaps

By Cherie | Friday, February 1, 2013 | 4:04 pm | 21 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Bad Girls Club, Recaps

Stephanie is pissed and feels played. Ya think? I knew I’d seen that scrawny fucker before.

Someone’s got some splaining to do.

Stephanie goes back to Mr. Tattles and demands he get the fucker on the phone. He tries to act like he doesn’t know his number but will get it from a friend. Once on the phone Stephanie lets him know he’s a shady fuck and should have told her he had been on tv before. He tries to play the “talk to me with dignity” shit but she’s not having it and hangs up on his groupie ass.  Then she proceeds to tell Mr. Tattles aka Devin from Love Games 4 that she told Andre everything and she’s a lesbian and that will never happen again. Then she gets butt fuck drunk.

In case you were wondering what that is…………

Butt.Fuck.Drunk.

Once Stephanie makes it back in the house, she explains that Andre is a liar and he’s dead to her. DEAD! Valentina on the other hand explains to her that he never disrespected her or anyone in the house. Shannon points out that he even came over like a man with bottles and food and bought groceries. Really ladies? That’s how low the bar has been set? Never mind that he most likely is playing her to get on tv otherwise he would have told her from the start that he was on Love Games. Yeah fuck all that, he has food stamps, keep his ass around.

In other news, who wants to guess which girls crotch this fell out of?

Anyone?

It’s a new day and Nikki is running around singing and all happy because they are all gonna go get their nails done and get beautiful. Then she slips and falls on her ass. Priceless.

Shannon takes this opportunity to yap about killing people with kindness and not showing that she’s vulnerable because then that would make her vulnerable. I wish she would just stop speaking altogether.

Andre calls Stephanie and tries to talk all sexy but she acts cold but in the end agrees for him to come over so they can talk. Before he gets there she tells us he’s an idiot and immature and a liar.

Meanwhile Shrek and Valentina have decided that Shannon is a strong bitch and they respect her. Yay. Off to the nail place where Nikki can’t quit giggling because her nappy ass feet are ticklish. After showing the snot picture last week I’ll refrain from showing a picture of her gnarled up toes. You’re welcome.

A small argument breaks out because Nikki wants to go to Dive Bar and Valentina and Paula don’t feel like it. Nikki keeps whining about how she’s not gonna go out alone because she’s not a loser. Valentina tells us that Nikki needs to not go up against the main bitch, that being her, doesn’t she remember what happened to Janae? Yes we all do. It took 2 of you twats to send a scared out of her element most likely mentally impaired girl home. So what’s your point?

In the car after leaving Cocanails, Nikki keeps yapping to Paula and Stephanie about Valentina yelling at her but she’s not gonna talk about it no more because it doesn’t matter and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Paula tells us Nikki needs to learn some self control and when to pick her battles. That might be the first thing that made sense this entire episode.

In the other car, Valentina is talking shit about Nikki and Shrek thinks Nikki will pop off tonight. Valentina says, and I quote, “I will knock her black ass out, her white ass whatever.”

Back at the house, Andre arrives to smooth things over. He tells Stephanie he fucked up but his feelings haven’t changed.

That’s right. Give him the cold shoulder.

She explains he should have told her and he agrees but said he didn’t have time. He then asks what he’s supposed to do and before long has talked his way back into her good graces. She tells us he’s not what she wants. He’s just Mr. Right Now.

He stands up and shouts “I fucked up.” She tells him to get on his knees and he does. It’s actually cute. I don’t want it to be cute but it is. Sue me I’m getting tired and vulnerable!

Elsewhere in the house Nikki decides to apologize to Valentina,Shrek and who the hell ever about being whiny. She tells them her Mom reminded her that she gets that way. Shrek tells us that Nikki talks to her Mom every 3 minutes and would not be surprised if she calls her every time she shits. To which her Mom probably asks if she wiped. The bitch made a funny but I refuse to laugh because I hate her. Talk to me next week. Maybe I’ll like her then.

Valentina has decided that Nikki has no self confidence and has lost all cool points with her. Boo fucking hoo.

By the way if you were wondering whether or not Stephanie forgave Andre…………..

I believe she’s “forgiving” his lil’ fireman as we speak.

After the “forgiving” is over he leaves and yet again we are treated to one of Nikki’s I am learning so much about myself zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. SHUT UP. Seriously bitch call Dr.Phil. Or Dr. Kevorkian, wait is he still alive? Anyway Paula jumps in to this bullshit session and says this is a learning experience. She’s learning about herself. Ya know what else is a learning experience? Throwing yourself off a fucking bridge. Just saying.

After a discussion of what cooter tastes like(not kidding), Nikki, Stephanie and Paula head out to Dive Bar. In the limo Nikki claims she can go out and have a good time without drinking but then when she does drink she doesn’t know when to stop. I think they call that alcoholism. I would look it up but I’m too drunk to read small print.

The girls have a blast at Dive Bar while back at home, Valentina,Shrek and Shannon are playing grab ass. Really.
Once back home, Nikki is about to piss herself and runs half naked into the house.  Since all three are drunk and loud they wake up Queen Valentina. She is not pleased. In fact she proclaims that they are, “White boy wasted.” What the hell does that mean?

Suddenly you hear a scream and glass breaking. It seems that Nikki saw a naked Shannon and her dinner plate sized nipples and dropped her drink.

Even her smilies are crooked.

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Cherie
About

Cherie's bio consists of being basically one of the few not inbred to live in the great state of Georgia. (She looks forward to your letters) She's married. Again. She's old enough to have good sense but just doesn't seem to yet. And she likes crappy shows where she can make fun of people more screwed up than her.

21 Comments

  1. 1
    labowner
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    They should have set up a fake Love Games at the house and then had Andre come over.

    Seemed like lots of foreshadowing going on with Shrek and Valentina.

    Is that Nikki’s blonde hair from the previews or is that the new girl getting into a fight? Looks like Nikki got some Molly Whooping in on Valentina.

    I want to see Shannon get into a fight to watch the security guards try and pull her off. Not sure why Shannon is not trying to run the house since she is such a bad ass or that is what she claims.

  2. 2
    PJSparkle
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    “Even the sniles are lopsided.” Classic! I literally lol’d at this.

  3. 3
    Liz
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    I really liked Valentina at first, but now I think she’s pretty lame. I mean, Shannon lobs a seriously offensive insult at her and she does nothing. Janae is boring and so she gets big and bad and bullies her? Whatevs.

  4. 4
    thespiral
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 12:39 am

    I hate to say this because she looks like five day old roadkill, but Nikki is the only bad girl in the house. She’s not fake, she’s not a bully, and she has her 0wn mind and fights her own battles rather than jumping chicks like a coward.

  5. 5
    Lo
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Andre was also on Tool Academy on VH1 (don’t ask me how I know…)

  6. 6
    thespiral
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 11:07 am

    I like Paula and Stephanie too. Paula seems very real and down-to-earth, and Stephanie is hot and doesn’t get involved with any drama (although I could live without her ass hanging out constantly.) Shannon is fake as hell and the Kunta Kinte comment was out of line, but I see her sticking around in the house since she seems smarter than the other girls and fakery is usually rewarded on this show. Alicia and Valentina are weak-ass mean girls. Dumping food on a chick who’s already leaving and then jumping her for no reason? That’s basic. I predict they’ll turn on each other as soon as they run into someone who isn’t intimidated by their played out act (I’m guessing Nikki or Shannon.)

  7. 7
    kdognatl
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    HILARIOUS recap Cherie!!

  8. 8
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:47 am

    LOL @Cherie, the “white boy wasted” comment just basically equates to black out drunk.
    from Urban Dictionary, white boy wasted = the highest level of being fucked up. done mostly by white teenage kids with alcohol and/or other drugs.

    But I did love Shrek a little bit when she invoked Ann M. Martin and the Babysitter’s Club. At least we can curb the intelligence jokes since she at least has a fourth grade reading level.

  9. 9
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I saw this article about BGC 11 online this afternoon and the only thing I could think of is more Cherie! (hopefully!)

    http://vh1access.blogspot.com/2013/02/other-reality-news-bad-girls-club-11.html

  10. 10
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    @Derek every season I expect flipit to tell me they have pulled the plug on BGC! We’re only 3 eps in and they are already filming season 11? LOL we sure do love our skanks!
    PS
    Thanks for the ego boost!

  11. 11
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Ratchet is an adjective, not a noun. It’s also a word I wish would go away.. It’s been around for years, but became mainstream these past few months with the suburban crowd and I’m tired of hearing it. In other news, Lady Gaga called her ex-assistant a hoodrat last week. Interesting.

    Y’all wanna laugh? I was on the BGC imdb page (don’t ask) and this thread was started by someone who dated Andre Parr, Stephanie’s beau. Peep her post as she puts him on blizzast!:

    “I *really* hope she’s careful with Dre P, I know him personally, is an actor, wannabe rapper, has herpes, is addicted to cocaine, has resorted to smoking a crack cocaine when the “expensive” stuff isn’t available, his penis is ashy and has bumps all over it AND looks like Alf’s snout, his ignorant motto is “only white folks use condoms”. He was Tool Academy (beat his girlfriend Leah during their relationship), was on Bad Girls Club/Love Games 4, is a mediocre wannabe rapper, dated Hot Wingz from Real Chance Of Love (beat her during their relationship), and dated Kendra James from Bad Girls Club 4 (she won’t confirm or deny any abuse, so can’t say for sure), and Stephanie (current BGC 10 stripper) and Andre are officially a couple now. All I have to say girl is make him get an STD test and the second he lays his hands on you, no second chances !!!! ”

    haha!! Here’s the link to the entire thread convo..she goes into more detail..
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0914829/board/nest/209933125?ref_=tt_bd_1

  12. 12
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    @sarcasatire, I think I’d be more worried about my STD count than my ashy penis after dating a down low slut like Kendra, a woman who still refers to herself by a Super Bowl food item, and a pretend lesbian when no dick is around.

  13. 13
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    @Derek: STDs might be the last thing on his mind, according to the girl’s post. To paraphrase, they were about to get it in and she reached in her bag for a condom and he said he didn’t use those. He said he was “clean” and “only white people have STDs.”

    An excerpt: “And to use the most bizarre, ignorant excuse also that “only white folks have STDs, you and I are ‘fam’ (I’m half black, half Swedish)… even the fam[ily] comment was creepy and made me think of incest LOL. I’m sure plenty of low self esteemed girls let him do it raw dog all the time, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a serious STD that can’t be cured with medication… it looked f!cked up !!!! ”

    My captcha code is “Keep What’s Yours.” As in stop spreading those STDs, Andre!

  14. 14
    labowner
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Thespiral – I love that Nikki admitted she wasn’t very smart.

    Oh I wonder if we will get a guest spot from Lea when they are filming in Miami?

    Yuck on Andre and the ashy, bump covered dick.

    Have we reached reality tv saturation since we are seeing so many of the same faces pop up in other places?

  15. 15
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    When I read that article all I could think of was the pic I posted of Stephanie UNDER the covers obviously snarfling Andre’s ashy, bumpy, herpes laden Alf snout. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    That’s what she gets for doing it in the dark. *phaedra voice* “Everybody knows the first time is always with the lights on.”

  17. 17
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    When is someone going to stand up to the bully? I hate bullies.

  18. 18
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Which bully are we talking about?

  19. 19
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 7:03 am

    Any bully on BGC? That’s what a real “bad bitch” would do. And would take the ass wooping if need be. A bad girl would be the strongest girl in the room and could take on the strongest. I guess because these girls are young and haven’t yet figured that out. Although…I’m pretty sure I was defending people who were picked on in high school so forget that theory…

  20. 20
    wow
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    Its like Alicia and Valentina are trying to be this year’s Julie and Fallon…And failing at it I must add!

  21. 21
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    I was so obsessed with Mr. AshyBumpyDick the girls had gone right out of my mind! Although he qualifies as a bully too according to that article and his woman beating tendencies. Shrek and Valentina are big ass bullies who as someone earlier said will hopefully turn on each other soon. The only good thing about a bully is watching them get kicked in the ass and then crying about it.

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