Bad Girls Club Recap: Southern Hospitality


By Cherie | | 11:00 am | 23 Comments

Another girl is chowing down at a BBQ truck She tells us she is not going to meet someone and take them home and fuck them. She will meet them, talk a few times and then take them home and fuck them. Aww a girl with standards! Her name is Janae and she is called “The Houston Hellraiser”. She’s 23 from Houston,TX.

Yikes!

Her bed at home is broken from all the sex. She says she is down to earth but beautiful and she isn’t going to throw it in peoples faces, she’ll just know that they know ya know? NO!

Behind her another bitch walks up. She tells us that at the end of the day it’s all about the money. If you don’t have something to offer then you are wasting your time. Her name is Valentina. She is known as “The Sexy Socialite”.She is 22 from Hyattsville,MD.

She looks like an angry twig.

She says some girls go after the basketball players, but she goes after the owner of the team. She says when she walks in a room she must look like she has a halo over her head. She says she is 6ft tall and pretty as hell. She says it’s rare to find a girl as cute as herself and she doesn’t run cities, she runs the world. That jab was for you Natalie Nunn. Oh crap she holds up her passport to show all the places she’s been. Wow now we all know she at least knows how to ride on an airplane. I’m impressed. She is a proud Nigerian and she used to be a tomboy. Man she talks a lot. She doesn’t get along with insecure or ugly bitches. Boy has she come to the right place.

She and Janae finally meet and hug. I’m sure these two will be besties! They both hope everyone is pretty. And that they all get along, the first day at least. Valentina tells us that aside from being pretty, she noticed that Janae was slurring her words and she hopes it’s from the booze and not because she’s………….slow. Hahahahahahahaha!

Back at the house Nicole tells Paula that she loves everyone and if she doesn’t like you then there’s a problem with you. Paula shouts that “if you ain’t fucking me, feeding me or financing me, yo opinion don’t matter!”

A limo pulls up and Alicia astutely deduces that this must be their house! They enter the house and Paula and Nicole come running and screaming. Steph tells us that she thought she and Alicia were going to be the prettiest bitches in the house but these girls are both bangin’. Really?  More screaming as they intro themselves and Alicia and Paula both realize they are from Chicago.

Suddenly Steph starts pulling her pants down around her ankles where they get stuck.

When your ass is itchy one must scratch!

The other girls come running to help her get her pants off and then she runs and jumps on the pole. Alicia gets a little freaked out because she sees cooter and realizes she is her roommate and wonders if she made a mistake. Too late ha!

Outside the other two girls show up. More screaming. Janae can’t believe this is their house and says you don’t see that in Texas. Her voice is like a ninety year old woman’s. They both enter the house to more screaming. Way too much screaming. Outside another car pulls up.  The bitch inside is talking about how bad she is. She tells us she always wanted a big ass house and lots of money. Now she has both. Her name is Shannon and she is known as “The Buff Barbie”. She is 26 from Portland, OR.

Barbie has less plastic.

Shannon tells us she wasn’t born into money. Her Mom left her when she was 2. She says she worked hard and nothing has been given to her. EVER! She went to military school and was a platoon leader. She says a girl will not fight her. I bet they will.

In the house she comes with her crooked boobs. Of course at first no one hears her. They are in one of the bedrooms talking about how they would hate to be that last bitch coming in the house alone. Then they see her and start screeching like fuck. They each tell the other how beautiful they are and scream some more. Then Nicole tells her that her boobs are perfect (Ha!) and Shannon says they were expensive. Janae runs up and squeezes them. Valentina tells us that it’s obvious she has had tons of work. She says it looked like she went on Craig’s List and found some rinky dink person to do her surgery.

Nicole tells us that Shannon is awesome because it takes a certain amount of confidence to walk around with that much fake body. They all run into the Confessional to scream some more.

House of Fug. Seriously.

Off to Club Wank they go. Dancing and MORE drinking. After a while they get back in the limo and you hear moaning and Janae saying she’s gonna hurl. Paula, being the nice bitch she is, ties Janae’s hair back. Janae promptly pulls the tie out while mumbling something about needing her personal time. Paula tries to tell her if she pukes she will get it in her hair and Janae tells her to be quiet. Uh Oh.  While Nicole is knocking back booze and water, Paula starts to lose her temper with Janae and starts slapping her hands together. Janae yells at her to not clap at her.

Cherie
About

Cherie's bio consists of being basically one of the few not inbred to live in the great state of Georgia. (She looks forward to your letters) She's married. Again. She's old enough to have good sense but just doesn't seem to yet. And she likes crappy shows where she can make fun of people more screwed up than her.

23 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    Hey Atliens! Where do you think the house is? I saw too much greenery for it to be in buckhead, midtown or downtown. I’m thinking north of the city…what say you?

    On to read the recap…

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    All I can say is after the divine Miss Judy, no other person from Illinois should be allowed on this show.

    Classy, let’s hope it is in the vicinity of the Big Rich Atlanta domiciles.

    On to reading.

  3. 3
    Sparkle McSnarkle Sparkle McSnarkle
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    I can’t believe this trashfest is still on TV, I haven’t really watched a season since Leah and Kristen made the house vehicle their clubhouse. I catch an episode here and there, but all these seasons and girls are just to trashy. And I love trashy reality TV. But these ho’s are to much. But I do agree, just by seeing the pictures, they should rename this season the Double woof with a side of doggie doo club. They aren’t bad girls, they just mad because they are so damn ugly.

  4. 4
    blazergirl
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    This is by far the ugliest Bad Girls Club yet. We’ll see if I can make it through the season. I had to stop part way through the last two seasons because they were just too awful. Yet I keep coming back.

    I was so embarrassed that the bad plastic surgery girl is from Portland. She does not represent us, and is, in fact, about as non Portland as you can get. I refuse to claim her!

  5. 5
    keebler elf
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    blazergirl’s comment is exactly how i feel! i always give up on this show and just read cherie’s recaps. plus im from portland and i feel the same way about that plastic girl. i was shocked when she said she was from there

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Shit, I ain’t from Portland and I was shocked she was from there. :)

    Crazy Cherie I kept thinking this is Judy 2.0. Does this mean I am going to end up loving Janae by the end of the season, if she lasts?

    I did notice a new blond in there somewhere so at least one person goes home. So what is the new criteria for getting kicked out? It obviously isn’t for throwing the first punch. Do they evaluate the situation to determine if said bitch deserved the beating?

  7. 7
    the_spiral
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    @ labowner -

    Yeah, I was guessing still in Fulton County (maybe north?) but not in ATL. Champions Park neighborhood has nice greenery like that but I DOUBT Oxygen is springing for that kind of rent money.

    I’m also curious as to which clubs they’ll be visiting. I can’t imagine any proper ATL clubs putting up with this sloppy shit even for free publicity. They’d get their goofy asses 86′d in five minutes.

  8. 8
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    @the_spiral, here’s hoping they go to Swinging Richards…..

  9. 9
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 5:40 am

    @spiral…I was thinking more Dunwoody area.

    Opera is actually a pretty decent club so I was definitely surprised that they were there.

    I do like Valentina especially since she said that she’d rather go after the owner of the team. If you’re going to go after money go after BIG money. Also I don’t think Valentina like Janea when she first met her. She was looking like what is this hot mess that I have to live with for the next few weeks.

    I thought Stephanie was pretty cute, until she had the fish net onesie on.

    Love Paula! If you ain’t fucking me, feeding me , or financing me your opinion doesn’t matter. Man if those aren’ t words to live by I don’t know what is. Also Petty Labelle had me cracking up.

    Also when did people from certain cities stop getting beat up? Why do they always say “I’m from Houston” or “I’m from Chicago”. So what?!?!!? You can still get your ass beat in Atlanta…right?

    It was wack they way the beat on Janea, you just put a sloppy drunk bish like that in the bed.

    I noticed the new girl in the promos too so someone definitely leaves.

  10. 10
    the_spiral
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 6:53 am

    \Also when did people from certain cities stop getting beat up? Why do they always say “I’m from Houston” or “I’m from Chicago”. So what?!?!!? You can still get your ass beat in Atlanta…right?\

    Yeah, that’s a trend on this show. Repping your city like it means something. Like you’re supposed to go \Ohhh, you’re from Houston? I didn’t realize, I’m so sorry – please don’t beat my ass!\ You can be from any city in the world and still be soft as hell, so I don’t know who they think is impressed that they happen to come from a major city. What the hell, I’ve been to places in Eastern Europe that would make ANY U.S. town look soft.

    Also…they were at Opera in Midtown?! That’s surprising, I’d think Opera would have more of a rep to uphold and wouldn’t want such trashy \publicity.\ But maybe it’s more for their safety. I’d looove to see them try to pop off at Frequency or PrimeTime, or even Central Station on certain nights. These sloppy drunk ratchets wouldn’t make it 5 min anywhere with real hood chicks.

  11. 11
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 7:00 am

    I think Opera caters to a younger crowd on Thursdays, so the kids might be excited to see “celebrities” in the house.

    Sweet Heavens!!! Central Station!!! I would be concerned for them if they went there. Especially Janae who likes to talk tough when she gets drunk.

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Ratchet should be the drinking game word!

    Ok, did anyone notice that the Security Guards had handcuffs?

    That caught me off guard this season.

    Also, Stephanie…did anyone else get the vibe that her entire MO is to hook up with all those chicks in the house, like she’s already trying to convince the viewing audience in her confessionals. Growing experience my ass.

  13. 13
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    I think Stephanie will need to be neutered before her season is up. That girl is in heat. Janae seriously reminds me of Judi but I doubt I will love her cause I think she’s mainly weak and not truly insane like Judi was. Ah, the good old days. This is my 8th season recapping this mess and I thought maybe I was getting jaded, (me? No way!) but I’m glad to see my ugly radar is still intact because damn, most of these bitches are nasty and they make the ones who aren’t look that way. It’s an ugly infection!

  14. 14
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    PS
    Yes I noticed the handcuffs and the for real security. I’m just surprised they didn’t have guns. They should have mace and a tazer at the least!

  15. 15
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    Damn, Cherie, 8 seasons? I think that gives you the most seniority here at the ‘gasm!

  16. 16
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    I should get, like, a watch or something! Ohhh I know! A golden bag of Cheetos!

  17. 17
    jerseyj
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 8:38 am

    I love this show, so glad it’s back! Did anyone else watch the preview last week where they introduced the “ladies”? I could tell from the 5 seconds they showed of Janae that I couldn’t stand her.

    And yeah, woof is right for most of these girls! Stephanie, Paula and Valentina are pretty but the rest look like they fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Especially Nicole…damn that girl is nasty looking. Her mannerisms and accent totally remind me of Flo…anyone else think that?

  18. 18
    Liz
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 10:41 am

    I agree with jerseyj, I think Stephanie, Paula, and Valentina are pretty too. The other girls are pretty ffffugly. I think the Portland chick looks like she was going for a “Real Housewives” look which, really, no one should go for. And Cherie, I’m so glad you commented on her crooked boobs! Wtf. Nicole reminds me of Angelic for some reason, though Angelic was much prettier. And yes, Janae is a much less fun Judi. There are actually two new girls in the beginning part – Rocky and Nancy. I really do wonder what it will take for them to get kicked out this season.

  19. 19
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 11:25 am

    I was just thinking how funny it would’ve been if Erica from last season got picked to be on this season instead and had to take the MARTA train from her house to the BGC Mansion? Could you imagine her rolling her suitcases and trying to act hardcore as she got picked up by the “BGC Limo” at the local transit station?

    Here’s hoping BGC 11 is either an All-Stars season or All-Replacements season. I always wished that Wilmarie could come back and go Jersey buckwild on some new bitches as soon as possible. “I’m a Wilmarie, bitch” will be the best BGC quote of all time (outside of anything Tanisha says!).

  20. 20
    dr.birdie Dr.Birdie
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    Cherie- You are amazing. The show still sucks, but you’re amazing.

  21. 21
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Awww Doc you’re gonna make me cry! Thank you love!

  22. 22
    Tmurda
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 1:27 am

    YAAAAY! Cherie, your BGC recaps are one of faves on the site! And you do not disappoint! Awesome season 10 premiere recap!

    Janae is horrendous. She hurts my eyes. And her voice makes me want to blow my head off. Nicole doesn’t want to come to Texas. I pray she doesn’t want to come to Alabama either, cause I couldn’t handle meeting her in person. She’s not insulting Houston, she is doing it a favor.

    For some reason, Nicole totally reminds me of the bloated, more northern, butch-er version of that flat-chested Lisa chick from season something of ANTM. Ya know, the one who tried REALLY hard to be crazy and fun, but sucked at it? She was on Celebrity Rehab? Semi-cross-eyed with bad teeth? NVM. They are both disgusting. Moving on….

    Love Paula. Like Steph. Both are pretty.

    Valentina went to some upscale boarding school where 100 girls slept in one room. Sounds like an orphanage to me.

    Shannon. You’ve worked for all the shit you have…never been handed anything. That is, except for the chocolate covered strawberries you were bragging about in the casting special, emphasizing how spoiled you are by your sugardaddy who just hands you money and blah blah blah…MAKE UP YOUR MIND, HOOKER! Your mom abandon you when you were two, and you grew up to become an adult who fills that void with material things. Yawn.

    Alicia- Your dimples are cute, but do not make up for that body. Ick!!! And stop trying to tell people they need to act like a lady. Take a look around. Do you know where you are right now?

    Lastly, at first, I disagreed about each season getting uglier (mainly cause I remembered every cast to be ugly as hell), but I then thought back really far, and mentally compared Hannah from season 2 or 3 to Jessica from 7 or 8. Ashley and Kory (minus the spongy skin) vs. the red-headed troll from vegas season (Erica?)…..and so on. Yeah, uglier every season.

    I feel like Paula and Alicia will run the house.

  23. 23
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 12:55 pm

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