Another girl is chowing down at a BBQ truck She tells us she is not going to meet someone and take them home and fuck them. She will meet them, talk a few times and then take them home and fuck them. Aww a girl with standards! Her name is Janae and she is called “The Houston Hellraiser”. She’s 23 from Houston,TX.
Her bed at home is broken from all the sex. She says she is down to earth but beautiful and she isn’t going to throw it in peoples faces, she’ll just know that they know ya know? NO!
Behind her another bitch walks up. She tells us that at the end of the day it’s all about the money. If you don’t have something to offer then you are wasting your time. Her name is Valentina. She is known as “The Sexy Socialite”.She is 22 from Hyattsville,MD.
She looks like an angry twig.
She says some girls go after the basketball players, but she goes after the owner of the team. She says when she walks in a room she must look like she has a halo over her head. She says she is 6ft tall and pretty as hell. She says it’s rare to find a girl as cute as herself and she doesn’t run cities, she runs the world. That jab was for you Natalie Nunn. Oh crap she holds up her passport to show all the places she’s been. Wow now we all know she at least knows how to ride on an airplane. I’m impressed. She is a proud Nigerian and she used to be a tomboy. Man she talks a lot. She doesn’t get along with insecure or ugly bitches. Boy has she come to the right place.
She and Janae finally meet and hug. I’m sure these two will be besties! They both hope everyone is pretty. And that they all get along, the first day at least. Valentina tells us that aside from being pretty, she noticed that Janae was slurring her words and she hopes it’s from the booze and not because she’s………….slow. Hahahahahahahaha!
Back at the house Nicole tells Paula that she loves everyone and if she doesn’t like you then there’s a problem with you. Paula shouts that “if you ain’t fucking me, feeding me or financing me, yo opinion don’t matter!”
A limo pulls up and Alicia astutely deduces that this must be their house! They enter the house and Paula and Nicole come running and screaming. Steph tells us that she thought she and Alicia were going to be the prettiest bitches in the house but these girls are both bangin’. Really? More screaming as they intro themselves and Alicia and Paula both realize they are from Chicago.
Suddenly Steph starts pulling her pants down around her ankles where they get stuck.
When your ass is itchy one must scratch!
The other girls come running to help her get her pants off and then she runs and jumps on the pole. Alicia gets a little freaked out because she sees cooter and realizes she is her roommate and wonders if she made a mistake. Too late ha!
Outside the other two girls show up. More screaming. Janae can’t believe this is their house and says you don’t see that in Texas. Her voice is like a ninety year old woman’s. They both enter the house to more screaming. Way too much screaming. Outside another car pulls up. The bitch inside is talking about how bad she is. She tells us she always wanted a big ass house and lots of money. Now she has both. Her name is Shannon and she is known as “The Buff Barbie”. She is 26 from Portland, OR.
Barbie has less plastic.
Shannon tells us she wasn’t born into money. Her Mom left her when she was 2. She says she worked hard and nothing has been given to her. EVER! She went to military school and was a platoon leader. She says a girl will not fight her. I bet they will.
In the house she comes with her crooked boobs. Of course at first no one hears her. They are in one of the bedrooms talking about how they would hate to be that last bitch coming in the house alone. Then they see her and start screeching like fuck. They each tell the other how beautiful they are and scream some more. Then Nicole tells her that her boobs are perfect (Ha!) and Shannon says they were expensive. Janae runs up and squeezes them. Valentina tells us that it’s obvious she has had tons of work. She says it looked like she went on Craig’s List and found some rinky dink person to do her surgery.
Nicole tells us that Shannon is awesome because it takes a certain amount of confidence to walk around with that much fake body. They all run into the Confessional to scream some more.
House of Fug. Seriously.
Off to Club Wank they go. Dancing and MORE drinking. After a while they get back in the limo and you hear moaning and Janae saying she’s gonna hurl. Paula, being the nice bitch she is, ties Janae’s hair back. Janae promptly pulls the tie out while mumbling something about needing her personal time. Paula tries to tell her if she pukes she will get it in her hair and Janae tells her to be quiet. Uh Oh. While Nicole is knocking back booze and water, Paula starts to lose her temper with Janae and starts slapping her hands together. Janae yells at her to not clap at her.