Bad Girls Club Recap:The Girl Who Cried Mommy

Recaps

By Cherie | Thursday, February 7, 2013 | 3:07 pm | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Bad Girls Club, Recaps

Hello my lovies. It’s that time of week again. Drag the trash to the end of my driveway, vacuum up all the dust elephants, oh and write about the craptastic wonderousnous that is Bad Girls Club! Let’s get right to it.

Nikki was drunk as hell and so shocked by Shannon’s giant nipples that she dropped her drink and glass was everywhere. This led Shrek to clean up after the drunk bitch and for she and Valentina to decide it was now time to bully her ass since she and Valentina were so successful in bullying the pitiful thing that was Snotwad. However, Nikki was not so pitiful and knocked the shit out of Valentina’s tater. A few times.

I.Am.Nots.Drunkeded.

Problem is, she was drunk as hell but if Valentina had any sense she would know that the way to deal with drunk fuckers is to talk to them like they are 2 years old. Smile a lot. Get them to lay down and tell you their problems. They will pass out within minutes. If not a pillow over the face will help that along.

They keep swinging and shit and finally it takes several people to pull them apart.

HOTDOGS! I got hotdogs, beer and peanuts!

Stephanie was yelling stop the whole time as was Paula. I don’t even know where Shrek was. Probably wherever ogres live but she tells us, “OH MY GAAAHD! Whut The fak just heeappened?” She goes on to say that Valentina’s 7th sense kicked in and said “GO help Alicia”. Go help Alicia do what? Bitch some more? Hide when the shit hits the fan?

I almost died! Valentina saved me y’all!

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Cherie
About

Cherie's bio consists of being basically one of the few not inbred to live in the great state of Georgia. (She looks forward to your letters) She's married. Again. She's old enough to have good sense but just doesn't seem to yet. And she likes crappy shows where she can make fun of people more screwed up than her.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    labowner
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    Remember when a fight happened all talk centered around who would have to leave the house? Now they just get to leave on their own. I wanted Valentina tossed for going after Nikki in round 2. Oh they are going to give Nikki shit at the reunion for looking up fighting. I did have to laugh at that one.

    Was that a montage of all the fights Jennifer gets into? Wonder if Stephanie is going to tell Jennifer about the bumpy, ashy dick she was riding a week ago.

  2. 2
    thespiral
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    Haha, I was thoroughly traumatized by the last comments section because all the references to the bumpy, ashy, STD-covered dick were a total vomit fest. And here I thought “It should be safe to come out now, Andre wasn’t even in this episode.” But then you had to mention the Dick of Doom in the VERY FIRST COMMENT! I swear to god, it will be seared into my brain until this show is over.

  3. 3
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    @thespiral, believe me it is seared into my head too. I had a whole bit I was gonna use to purge myself of this hideousness and then he’s not even mentioned at all! I have a feeling that much like the bumps on his ashy dong, he will pop up again.
    @labowner I think she will have to tell her at some point but by then they both will probably have bumps of their own.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 6:00 am

    I hate that the show is centered around who they can get out of the house. Remember when they would talk big ish but then when the girl wanted to leave they would all try to convince them to stay.

    I will probably never stop watching BGC. I literally shake my head every time I watch, but I liked the earlier seasons.

    A bad girl doesn’t have to tell people she runs the house. She just does.

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 9:06 am

    I am so sorry Thespiral and Cherie.

  6. 6
    isthathissister
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    I swear Shannon is like 37. No way is she 26. She must’ve showed them a birth certificate like in the Benchwarmers, where the dude drinking a beer hands over a piece of paper that says “I am 12″. And the crooked boobs don’t help hide her age either…

  7. 7
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    @Classy I remember the good old days too and wish they would return to them. @lab don’t worry you didn’t cause any harm Mr.Bumpy is in my head and it is lurking whether it’s mentioned or not.
    @isthathissister I really think you are right. She looks a hell of a lot older than 26!

  8. 8
    jerseyj
    Posted February 12, 2013 at 5:48 am

    I’m not sure why, but I actually kind of liked Nicki. She at least had a lot of fun and could laugh at herself (i.e. saying she sounds like a 12 year old boy). She is better than Charlie and Cameltoe, that’s for sure. What is the deal with Alicia’s clothes? Everything she wears is 2 sizes too small and so far up her cooter, I’d almost call it a moose knuckle!

    The new girl is really pretty…I like her so far. Of course I may end up hating her next week, we’ll see.

  9. 9
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted February 12, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    I like this season. That is all.

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