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Rocky grabs a mic and screams, “It’s the Bad Girls Club bitch! I don’t give a fuck!” They all then pile into the limo. Rocky tells us Jenn was a hater from the start. Back at the house Paula notices that Stephanie has a dollar hanging from her ass and they are laughing. Meanwhile in the kitchen……….
Jenn is pissed and says she went upstairs for a minute to change clothes and when she came back down half her hotpocket was gone. She asks Rocky why she would do that and Rocky claims she only took one bite. 1. Bitch please, it’s half gone. 2. You are a nasty bitch. They argue back and forth until Rocky offers to make her another one.
Next Paula confronts her and asks why she thinks it’s ok to eat someone elses food. Rocky tells her it’s not that big of a deal. Paula repeats her question. Again she says it’s no big deal. It’s a big deal to Paula and to Jenn. Rocky tells her it wasn’t her food and Paula says it doesn’t matter. It does matter. back and forth. Rocky says lets go outside so I can smoke and Paula says no I’m done. Jenn follows her outside and gets in her face with a fork and asks her if she would eat her food with her standing there.
The yelling escalates until Jenn is all the way in Rocky’s face and Rocky grabs the fork. When she won’t let go, Jenn shoves the hotpocket in her face.
Jenn turns away and Rocky shoves her. Jenn turns around and says touch me again. WHAT? Why do they always say that? She shoved you so knock her out already. They split up and Rocky tries to go inside only to be blocked by Jenn. Rocky tells her not to touch her face as Jenn touches her face. Hard.
Rocky again shoves the shit out of Jenn and her jammies fly open. Paula jumps in the middle and breaks them up. She tells them they are both gonna get sent the fuck home. They are at it again.
Finally security breaks it up. Jenn is infuriated. She yells that the bitch is nasty and looks like she sucks dick and she ain’t about to eat off her. Charlie is impressed and so am I. If you’ve ever had a hotpocket taken from you, you’ll understand. The next morning Rocky is eating a hotpocket and laughing in confessional. Shannon and Rocky are outside smoking and bonding. Shannon tells us that she is cool with the new girl but the others don’t have to know that. Pretty sure they’ll notice your head up her ass. Shannon tells us that the pack of hyenas will never stand alone because they couldn’t do any damage and that the new girl is there to stay.
All the girls take to the phones to invite people over for their pool party. Stephanie crawls across the counter and almost weeps at the sight of whiskey. People start showing up and there is a shitload of them. DJ Cypha is there and so is Andre Mr. Bumpydick himself. The girls waste no time getting wasted.
And then he arrives.
He shows up with bags of money and starts throwing it everywhere. Seriously there are piles of money everywhere and the strippers lose their minds.
Stephanie tells us it’s like having a shot of vodka when she sees all the money. Meanwhile Jerry just keeps going from girl to girl. At one point Shannon is kissing some random girl and Jerry at the same time. In the next minute he’s got his face up someone’s crack and then he’s all over Rocky. He dances around and licks his nasty fingers.
Paula basically sums it up when she tells us he’s kinda creepy. No he’s all fucking creepy. And old as hell. Rocky is going from guy to guy rubbing her boobs and dancing around like a hooker. She starts yelling some shit about being a pretty girl and they are barbie bitches or some shit. Shrek is sick of her ass and at this point so am I. Except for the fact that she’s making them all crazy which is hilarious.
Jenn takes this opportunity to tell Rocky she’s weird. Rocky tells her she’s a good bitch and Jenn climbs on a table trying to get to her. Paula gets Jenn out of there to try and calm her down. Charlie tells everyone the party is over. Everyone leaves except Jerry. Jenn decides it’s time for Rocky to go home and tells her so. She gets ignored so Jenn goes and gets her bed and throws it in the pool. Rocky says thank you and I say LAME!
Jenn comes back to Rocky and asks if she has something else to say. Even Shrek is fed up at this point. Jenn however is not done.
Rocky just says, “I love beer.” as Jenn pours it on her and then Jenn tries to shove the can in her mouth. Rocky grabs the can and throws it at Jenn’s face and then Jenn throws another can at Rocky’s face. Jenn then grabs Rocky’s ponytail and snatches her ass.
Mattress in the pool, hair snatching, someone wake me up when this bitch does something Bad Girl-ish. A couple of giant security dudes break it up. For about 2 seconds and Jenn is right back on her.Over and over she throws shit on Rocky. Noodles, booze, water, you name it. Rocky just takes it. For a while. Then her eyes start burning and she gets pissed.
Shannon takes this opportunity to do a PSA on bullying. Hey bitch, get off your soap box and help a bitch.
Rocky is finally losing it and shoves the shit out of Jenn. Jenn grabs her by her bikini top and snatches like crazy until she pulls it apart. For some reason the security dude grabs Rocky and helps her down the hallway. Rocky decides it’s time to retaliate and takes all of Jenn’s makeup and throws it in the toilet. She also breaks her curling iron and throws her cutout into the pool.
Meanwhile Stephanie has found the toilet makeup and shows Jenn.
Shannon finds Rocky laying under the bed frame, wakes her up and puts her drunk half naked ass in bed with Jerry. WTF? Shrek, Stephanie and Jenn see her in bed with Jerry and think she crawled in there all by herself.
The next morning Rocky is staggering around trying to figure out what happened. Jerry leaves. Rocky says she woke up under Shannon’s bed and has no idea how she got there. Charlie isn’t buying it.
Paula,Stephanie,Charlie and Jenn head out to get their nails done and talk about how stupid Rocky is.
Back at the house Bob keeps playing with the lights and while Charlie finds it funny, Stephanie is scared. Paula and Stephanie head to confessional to ask Bob to stop messing with them.
The girls get to talking and they tell Rocky she was in bed with Jerry. She says eeeew. Shannon explains that she found her and made her get into her bed. This freaks out Shrek who can’t understand why Shannon would put her drunk friend in bed with a grown man. I’m kinda with her on that one.
Shrek asks Rocky if she voluntarily got in bed with Jerry and she says no. Uh oh. Things are starting to shift in Shannon’s direction. Rocky thinks Shannon was trying to make her look bad. I think she’s just an idiot who thought she was doing her a favor but was so NOT.
Shrek continues on by telling Shannon that was messed up. Rocky starts to cry. Shannon tries to apologize but Rocky is in full tears and telling her she wanted to make her look bad. Shannon denies this but it’s too late. All the girls have shifted their hate to Shannon. Paula tells Shannon she’s gonna keep it 100% real. They saw her in bed with Jerry and thought she got there on her own. Rocky says she woke up with no shirt on and she doesn’t like that shit. Shannon just sits there like an idiot. Even Jenn feels bad for Rocky.
Shrek hops up and starts yelling that she would never stick her in bed with a dude. Paula tells her that nothing she says can justify what she did. Shannon starts to speak but Paula isn’t finished. Paula is getting seriously heated now and tells her this is bullshit and that Shannon knows nothing about Jerry not even his last name. Shannon claims he’s a good guy she’s known for years and Paula again shouts that she doesn’t even know his last name. Shannon agrees.
Shannon is more pissed because Rocky seems to have forgotten that she was jumped by these girls. No skank she was harassed by Jenn, but at least she didn’t feed her ass to a dirty old man. OK she was acting like a big ass skank all night, still she didn’t get into bed with anyone. On purpose. To be put in bed with some old dude you don’t know? I’d be pissed too.
Shannon tells us that she was born alone and she’ll die alone and if it has to be 6 against 1 then so be it. “They’ll get their asses mopped up and hung out to dry.”
Until next time,
Love & Smooches,
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