Draya Michele, aka Homewrecker Spice. (She’s cute in that anime/I’m-gonna-steal-your-man-type way.)
Malaysia Pargo, aka Wimpy Spice, “wife of Atlanta’s Jannero Pargo, grew up in Compton, California before meeting her husband at 22. Since last season, her Three Beats jewelry line has gained momentum and she’s resolved this year to shed the shyness that she feels may be preventing her from reaching her full potential.” (source: www.vh1.com)
Malaysia Pargo, aka Wimpy Spice. (I don’t hate this chick, but she’s so much prettier au natural.)
Brooke Bailey, aka Opportunistic/Whore Spice, is a model and
porn video star is also the ex-girlfriend of Miami Heat’s Rashard Lewis. Her bio/pic is not available yet at VH1.com, but you’ll see her and her (spoiler alert!) underboob below.
Adiz “Bambi” Benson, Gangsta Spice, is a rapper and model who is also Malaysia’s best friend. Again, no bio or pic yet… she doesn’t even make this episode, so I’ll add them to my matrix of dominatrixes soon… (yes, I know it’s spelled dominatrices, but it wasn’t as funny to me that way.)
Now, to start the actually recapping of the season premier, we go back to Season 1 and see footage of the drama between the ladies, with it all coming down to Jackie being called out for being the instigator that tried to divide and conquer. And she succeeded, until they went to Hawaii. After that, they had a final dinner and all left Jackie sitting alone at the table.
Now, a year later, we find ourselves in the kitchen with Old Spice and Mr. Old Spice, Doug, talking about how Old Spice misses her daughter, who is in Washington, DC and wants to know if she should reach out to her. Doug mentions that he’s received some texts from her and Oldie dies a little bit inside because we know that child is running from her mother.
Old Spice admits to Doug that she did some things wrong with the ladies and she’s willing to meet halfway to make up with them. Doug has great advice, but he must know that his wife is 90% at fault in almost everything (and that the ladies aren’t interested).
We join Sister Spice and Scary Sister Spice for lunch and find that the two sisters haven’t been in touch for a long time and that Sister Spice and Matt Barnes broke up for about 8 months, but they are back and working on it. Sister Spice is writing a cookbook because she black and Mexican and Matt is black and Italian. Okay, sure, makes sense. So fried chicken tacos with linguine?… Sister Spice is planning a dinner tasting and they go through their guest list and everyone is invited except Old Spice.
Are you as bored as I am?
Homewrecker Spice and Wimpy Spice meet to catch up, as Wimpy Spice has been in Atlanta with her “boo”. Wimpy looks great and Homewrecker tells her so. The conversation is so boring as they discuss Wimpy’s baby jewelry line and Homewrecker Spice’s swimwear line… and Homewrecker Spice wants to be rich and she’s keeping her eye on the prize (hide your kids, hide your husbands). They also discuss Old Spice and they both agree they can take or leave her. Wimpy wants to give her a second chance.