So you like blue? Meh, I like teal.
Old Spice has a friend, Sunday, stop by for drinks and to listen to Old Spice bitch about the girls, again. Old Spice isn’t angry, she’s disappointed because she gave the girls so much and they perceived her wrong. Sunday calls her “Crazy Jackie” and Old Spice says “Crazy? Like in a good way?” and Sunday doesn’t respond. (No, Old Spice, not in a good way.) Sunday gives her some advice on apologizing and being the bigger person (she is the biggest person) and Old Spice quickly hits Crazy Spice mode and says that she taught the girls and they should be in line, on their knees, apologizing to her. Haha… Dementia, thy name is Old Spice.
Old Spice is convinced that it’s all because they are jealous. Oldie has the family, the money, the businesses, the oily skin, everything that those girls want and they all have low drives. Oldie and Sunday share a hug and I have a feeling Sunday wants out of there before Crazy shows up again.
Sister Spice and Homewrecker Spice meet and talk about Sister’s breakup with Matt and Homewrecker’s eyes look like “how did I miss the chance to steal her man?” Homewrecker Spice is all sweet and nice and hopes Sister Spice and Matt work everything out (as she tries to calculate Matt’s net worth and where he’ll be that night).
Homewrecker Spice seems to have given up her acting career and moved into “hosting”. Okay, I was a hostess when I was in high school. One month I was even “Hostess of the Month” (there were like 3 of us, so it was no easy feat)… but the only “hostesses” I know of are of the Tiger Woods’ days of yore, and it doesn’t seem like a stretch that Homewrecker Spice would do a fantastic job of getting men to part with their money and their wives.
Homewrecker Spice tells Sister Spice that Old Spice was a powerful motivator… not a good one, but a powerful one. They discuss that Old Spice ‘hits them up’ on Twitter and they agree she’s delusional. Homewrecker Spice tells Sister Spice that Wimpy Spice wants to give Old Spice a second chance and Sister Spice is NOT excited.
Homewrecker Spice introduces us to Brooke (we’ll get a Spice name for her soon) and says she met her out on the club scene and at modeling gigs because they’re both urban models. (Like for Urban Outfitters? Cool. No? Is my whiteness showing?)
Brooke is dating Vernon Macklin who plays for Detroit. He is “much younger” than Brooke (and probably “much toner” too). She’s from Charlotte and got into “the industry” (what industry?) as a video vixen and sexy urban model (so a porn star, right?). There’s a lot of talk about the industry and Brooke explains doesn’t have any other skills (as if we couldn’t see that ourselves), so they plan to get tighter and tighter in “the industry”. Homewrecker Spice is excited to see how the ladies will take to Brooke, who I’m thinking of calling Opportunistic/Whore Spice. Homewrecker Spice tells her that they are crazy, but supportive of her business… a swimwear line called Mint Swim. Homewrecker Spice wants Opportunistic/Whore Spice to try on her suits because Opportunistic/Whore Spice has big boobs and a big ass and Homewrecker Spice wants to see if her suits support her. (Nice, a backhanded compliment? Or a flat out insult?)