Basketball Wives LA Recap: The Episode Is Brought To You By Non-White White Parties

After the smart girls leave, Malaysia says she doesn’t want to go on a bikini vacation now, she’d rather go to New Orleans and build a house. She claims she can learn how to do it on YouTube. Oy vey, what a clusterfk that would be. Most unsafe house, ever.

 Great job, Malaysia!

Next up, Brooke, Draya, and Gloria go to get body piercings. I’m not sure what these new piercings are called. The ones that they put in random places on your face, neck, chest, back, etc… Brooke gets three little diamonds on the back of her neck and it made no sense to me. Draya got a gold dollar sign on her cheek and Gloria got a diamond on her little ear flap (yes, that’s the medical term).

Is that Booger from Big, Rich Texas?  Does anyone else watch Big, Rich Texas. 

 Yes, it’s both beautiful and confusing.

Do you have a charm that says “Jump-Off”?  

When they are finishing up, Matt Barnes walks in to pick up Gloria. He seems nice enough, but what I read about him otherwise, he seems sort of douchish. I think VH-1 must have pulled a card and told him that he had to appear on the show.

VH-1 said I had to show up, not kiss you too. 

Brooke is impressed with their relationship and decides she’s going to need to talk to Gloria about their relationship so she can understand what’s going on with Vernon Macklyn.

The next day Brooke and Gloria go to a clothing store that sells the hideous outfits that we see these ladies wearing. Brooke asks for advice about how to deal with Vernon being so young and being a rookie. It’s the first time Brooke has ever dated a rookie. And he’s excited and the girls are lining up, and basically, he’s probably sleeping around and Brooke and her 4 kids aren’t top priority.

 I feel like my 21 year old boyfriend doesn’t want to raise my 4 kids. It’s whack.

Gloria explains that Vernon is blazing his trail and that Brooke has already blazed hers (4 times). Gloria says the reason she and Matt recently broke up was because Matt blazed his trails years ago and then returned to Gloria, but then she needed some time last year to blaze her own trail (read, sleep with her sister’s man). Anyway, I wonder to myself if any of these guys play for the Trailblazers… and if, perhaps, that’s where the Trailblazers got their name. But then I segued into the Clippers and how they got their name and how bad it sucked.