Basketball Wives LA Recap: The Episode Is Brought To You By Non-White White Parties

 My advice to you is to get pregnant. Fast.

Bambi and Laura meet for lunch and Bambi graces Laura with a real hug. Laura says they don’t hang out enough. Bambi said it’s because Laura is mean to Jackie. Laura tries to explain, AGAIN, that Bambi doesn’t know the whole history and that she only knows what Jackie says. It was a stupid scene and Bambi is really a moron.

So you’re saying you still don’t like Jackie? 

 No, and I your gums are distracting.

Gloria and Malaysia go on a walk and Malaysia wears ugly yellow shorts that piss me off. Malaysia talks about how she’s always lived behind the scenes and that she does her wifey duties and stays out of the spotlight… but now she wants to “live out loud”. They complain about having to move all the time if their men get traded and how hard it is for them to be grounded. I’m voting Malaysia’s marriage is hitting the skids because that’s just the kind of mood that I’m in today.

Those shorts are just plain ugly. Her hair and hat… even worse.  

Malaysia brings up Laura, and again, Gloria explains that Jackie did Laura wrong and that’s that. Why can’t these ladies get it? Whether it’s right or wrong, or immature, or whatever… why do they keep talking about it? Oh, the producers… my bad.

All the ladies are dressed in white for Draya’s All White Mint Swim launch party. Well, all white until Jackie shows up in the ugliest black and gold jumper I’ve ever seen. (It’s also the only one I’ve ever seen.) It’s hideous. She interviews that all the ladies are going to be jealous of her outfit, but she realizes her mistake. Then Jackie is simply scared that Draya is gonna go off and kick her out of the party. Bambi agrees.

 So, this is a white party? It’s not what I expected.

THIS is what I expected. 

Which one of these things is doin’ it’s own thing? 

There are two waitresses wearing the two bathing suits that Draya designed and finally Draya shows up looking like an ostrich. Draya is immediately pissed that Jackie isn’t wearing all white and says that she told Jackie that it was a white party and that Jackie should be embarrassed. She asks Jackie if maybe it was Alzheimer’s and tells her she can’t mingle, just to stay hidden in a corner.

 Hey, it’s the orange Mint Swim swimsuit. I wonder who wore the purple one.