Basketball Wives LA Recap: This Episode Is Brought To You By Booty Pills

Recaps

By Madelyne27 | Thursday, October 4, 2012 | 3:09 pm | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Baseball Wives, Recaps

As she’s straight outta Compton, she apparently found a voice coach that still lives in Compton. I think I may have seen a Crip or Blood in the background (and I was totally praying for a drive-by shooting).

Please see our ad on Craigslist.

Because you need bars on your vocal training office.

She meets with her voice coach, Denise Woods, and they do two vocal exercises and Wimpy Spice gets tired of it, so they put her in the recording booth with a script about soup.

But Wimpy Spice was a “slave to the word, soup” and since she didn’t like soup she couldn’t do the voice-over. But she did interview that we should listen for her in the next big motion picture. Yeah, Wimpy Spice, you’re a shoo-in. Oliver Stone called and he’s doing a movie about an uneducated hood rat that is addicted to helium and lives in a soup can. You’re a perfect fit.

I give up. I just don’t like soup. And my meds are wearing off.

The first luncheon of the day is Opportunistic/Whore Spice and her braid (which I love) and Homewrecker Spice (who I don’t love). Homewrecker Spice appears to have a pair of underpants on her head.

So what, I have a bikini in my hair. My suits aren’t selling. I gotta move inventory.

They rehash how they are perceived in the modeling world if they come across as not being able to work together. Opportunistic/Whore Spice says all the right things. Homewrecker Spice makes the same crazy, wide eyed faces she always does.

I’ll just keep looking down so I don’t laugh at the underpants in her hair.

Now, horror of all horrors, we join Old Spice at a photo shoot/interview and I considered blinding myself when I saw the fan blow her fake her.

Oy Vey.

I was v v thankful that she was wearing that necklace (which I actually like) because it covered up some bits and pieces that I didn’t want to see. She was being interviewed by a blogger. Big deal. A blogger. But it was funny because she was talking about all the gossip and how it was all “Here say, he said, oh, she crazy” controversy of last year. It’s he said, she said, Old Spice.

Someone hand her one more necklace.

Scary Sister Spice shows up at the shoot because she’s first on Old Spice’s list of the ladies and her mission to right all the wrongs that have been levied against her. Scary Sister Spice knocks it out of the park AGAIN with her facial expressions and brutally honest comments. My fav was “J, I really appreciate this, but this is so boring.” Old Spice is, once again, confused.

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Madelyne27

It's never too soon. It's never too far. And it's never the wrong time.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    You had me at the Patsy Cline reference! Thanks for all the giggles – I had a shit day at work and boy did I need a good laugh (and some xanax!)

    Jackie’s gonna blow any day now and I hope it’s epic. The wo(man) is a loon and her hubby is a saint (gay or not) . Can you imagine living with that coo coo? I was shocked (okay not really) that she walked away from her “interview ” to shoot the shit with Laura. Love her telling Jackie what’s up.

  2. 2
    wow
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    “Hey Bambi, Trident called. They want their gums back.” – HAHA!

    Jackie is by far the most insane and emotionally unstable person on reality TV right now and that includes all the other Basketball Wives and Real Housewives. Quite an accomplishment!

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    @Madelyne27 OMG! Between you and bootypill.com (BUTTOCK GROW 3 TO 4 INCHES! ) I’ve got too many kleenexes in my eyes to type comment right now. I will, though.

  4. 4
    Neecy
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    Glad to see the BBW-La is being recapped. The recaps are so much better than the show! Thanks!

  5. 5
    Lightningpussy
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 3:12 am

    Hilarious! My booty popped just watching. The outfits & the underwear on the head are genius.

  6. 6
    Suebrz
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 3:17 am

    My 8 mo old woke me up at 5:30 this am & I was lucky enough to have this to read ( should I be reading to him?) what a great way to start my day – ” who am I kidding I always hope someone drowns” and “I take pills to do the exact opposite” I can’t stop giggling. Several others as well but I gotta go take my booty pills. Can’t wait for some fighting next week. (Fingers crossed , saw the fight last season at the rooftop restaurant -such a classy bunch)
    Thank you!

  7. 7
    Madelyne27
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Thanks for reading this… i was slightly worried this morning, bc i found myself looking forward to monday’s episode. i hope it doesn’t disappoint… but i’m sure it will.

    @featherhead – i wonder if patsy cline ever knew her lyrics would best describe to hookers walking down the street on reality tv.

    @wow – i have to admit, i came up with that line about her gums the first time i saw her, and it was burning a hole in my brain, trying to wait for the right pic to use it on.

    @kthxbai – at least you have kleenex, i had a coupon and bought Scott’s toilet paper… and let’s just say it’s NOT quality tissue.

    @neecy – thanks. i’m trying to make it as fun as possible. although Jackie Christie started following me on twitter last night and i have to say, i’m a little scared.

    @suebrz – it’s never to early to start the next generation on the world of reality tv, recaps, and FDA-unapproved meds.

  8. 8
    featherhead
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 9:03 am

    @Madelyne27
    Oh no!! Tacky Jackie’s following you? Be afraid, be very afraid!! Try not to look her directly in the eyes, and what ever you do – do NOT mention how hot you think her husband is (bwhahaha)!!

  9. 9
    Xanadu
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    really funny recap, i think there’s a short film spinoff waiting to happen here where boobs communicate with each other called “Look Who’s Talking This Time?”

  10. 10
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 5, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    @Madelyne27 Your recaps keep getting better every week! And getting to watch you discover a whole new world is bonus fun! Not to mention booty pills. Which is headed straight to the tv commercial hall of fame.

    @Lightningpussy I’m still laughing at Draya with underpants on her head too! She should put some pics of that up next time she launches her website. I bet she’d sell more fug orange bikinis if she tells people they’re a hair decoration.

    What was Gloria thinking with that top she put on? Maybe Brooke was being her stylist for the day. Or the spirit of Lazareth got in her house and busted all the mirrors. Somebody needs to tell her about gravity. So unless you’re model flat, once you pass 25 you have to either get fake 1s. Or do like mechanics do a car. And jack ‘em up.

    I think Malaysia’s on the same anti anxiety pills as Dani on Married to Jonas. That she takes for her mental health condition of marrying a Jonas brother. Maybe Malaysia caught the same case of anxiety from her basketball player. They’ve both got that downed out way of talking. And a kind of look you can tell is more vacant than their usual 1.

    Since Old Spice has started following you, I’d make sure your internet nickname can’t be connected to any pieces of paper.

    That full finger length ring thing she had on in her photo shoot looked dangerous.

  11. 11
    Moli Moli
    Posted October 6, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I am so happy Crazy Jackie is back!!!! I really like Laura and Draya the most most so far this season.

    “Hey Bambi, Trident called. They want their gums back.”…..BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    You make watching this show sooooo worth it. Thank you for yet another great recap.

  12. 12
    Neecy
    Posted October 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Don’t be scared. Jackie is crazy, but harmless. Besides she’s so adhd she’ll lose interest.

  13. 13
    Madelyne27
    Posted October 8, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    Oh boy… Tonight’s episode was chock full of crazy… Can’t wait to write it up… Might be forced to cancel the one thing I’m supposed to do tomorrow. Work. Meh.

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