Basketball Wives LA Recap: This Episode Is Brought To You By Jackie’s Cleavage

Recaps

By Madelyne27 | Wednesday, September 19, 2012 | 5:00 pm | 6 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Basketball Wives, Recaps

She was making fun of Old Spice’s boots and it was kinda funny, but if Scary Sister Spice and Old Spice are really such besties, it just seemed really, really mean. But Scary Sister Spice kept me so happy with her constant eating and facial contortions that I quickly forgave her.

 Yeah, I’m eating from the tub… Problem?

 At least I’m not drinking straight from the vodka bottle.

 I need a bigger spoon.

 Is that a hair in my ice cream?

Whatevs, I’ll eat it anyway. 

 Blech… that was one long hair.

Wimpy Spice tried again to explain that Old Spice is in a different place in her life. And Scary Sister Spice eloquently states “obviously not, if she thinks that we should have gave her apologize”. And you can take that to the bank… just don’t take it to your English teacher.

Next up we join Opportunistic/Whore Spice and Vernon Macklin at a picnic on the beach.

 Summer lovin, had me a blast… 

Opportunistic/Whore Spice doesn’t seem to be wearing a Mint Swim suit, but she is wearing one that provides the same, if not less coverage. I live in Florida. We go to the beach. We don’t wear tight jean shorts with Chanel belts and earrings as big as our head…

“So I says to myself, self, you CAN wear bigger earrings and still look cute.” 

The only reason to go is to get a tan, so if you’re not going to lay out, you’re basically just making a rather stupid choice to eat on a really sandy floor.

 ”Strawberries, two big melons, and sand… another perfect date. I love bein’ a baller”

Wimpy Spice and Old Spice meet up to discuss the food tasting. Old Spice is (always) carrying around a notebook. I wonder if it’s to track her personalities. Anyway, Old Spice is using her fake sweet voice and Wimpy Spice is telling her that it didn’t go over so well and Old Spice is shocked. She doesn’t even know why the ladies are really upset. Old Spice suggests she have a dinner and invite all the ladies, and even the dingy Wimpy Spice sees that this is not a good idea.

Dear Diary, Today I dressed like a man and acted delusional. See you tomorrow. 

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Madelyne27

It's never too soon. It's never too far. And it's never the wrong time.

6 Comments

  1. 1
    Moli Moli
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    I haven’t watched this season(yet) but you had me in tears in a couple of moments and laughing with my head thrown back and clutching my stomach is several more. This was a GREAT recap :) .

  2. 2
    Pari
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    I haven’t watched this episode either, but I feel like your recap was way more entertaining than the actual episode would be!

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 9:19 am

    @Madelyne27 It sucks that you got such a crappy episode this quick. I had lots more fun reading your recap than watching it.

    Draya didn’t fool me. Last week she said the real reason she didn’t want to shoot with Brooke. Draya’s got T and A. But Brooke’s got J and B.

    If Brooke’s man likes Gangsta Spice’s shimmer that much. To where he’s giving her presents. That means presents for us! Of better drama than Jackie being batshit crazy.

    Laura sure has fallen off! I think she looked better before though. Even prettier in her face. Not everybody’s cut out to be a skinny bitch.

    Sorry for not getting back to the other thread sooner. You’ve probably already figured out the word anyway. It can mean a side piece and or skank and or random hookup. You know how the rules for slang words are loose.

    Anyway it was a radio presenter that 1st called it Basketball Jumpoffs. Talking about the original BBW. Where the only married 1 had already started her divorce up.

    The way I used it was just me being a smart ass. Because on this 1 I think 2 or 3 of them are actually married. And the others aren’t really jumpoffs. Just exes and baby mamas etc.

  4. 4
    vecchiogio
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:56 am

    I haven’t watched the show yet this season but this recap (and last week’s) are incredibly well done and insanely funny. I laugh now everytime I hear the word “spice”. I seriously doubt the show is more entertaining than this. Great work!

  5. 5
    Madelyne27
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    well, it appears that @kthxbai and I are the only ones watching this cinematic gem. I’m totally stealing the term “jumpoff” in reference to chicks that i can’t stand… (there are many).

    thanks for reading, i’d love to say the show is worth watching… hopefully it will get better (and by better, i mean much, much worse).

  6. 6
    thunderpussy
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    I too didn’t get a chance to watch either, so excited to watch now that I hear it was boring… agree with Pari… your recap was funny (as always) Been busy this week so my DVR is so full of trashy reality goodness it lost about 10 I.Q. points. Should I bother watching or just BALEET.

    i was really disappointed to find out that these broads weren’t actually married to basketballs… Well, Jackie “might” be (GET IT???? CLEAVAGE JOKE)

    is that a thong on Draya’s head? Did she and her nerdish friend attempt to create the perfect woman?

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